| Subject: Priority Mail 63 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Thursday, November 25, 03:19:02pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 63+" on Thursday, November 25, 03:17:47pm
Before Michael had walked up the stairs after putting Adam on notice for what his actions were going to cause, he also told Adam to contact Walter to come to the house. There were still men outside that worked for Davenport, but Davenport was off today and there was a chance that Michael would find himself personally tailing behind Nikita if she ran. He also felt ill walking up the stairs. He knew that Nikita desired to be alone right now, but Michael was wise enough to know that it was the exact opposite of what she needed right now.
The door was not locked, it wasn’t even closed. Inside, Nikita was pacing back and forth in a staggering step. She was twisting her hands around and she turned her head to see Michael looking at her. Michael eased the door open and Nikita stopped her walking. Her head started to twitch from side to side.
“Kita…. Adam shouldn’t have done that,” Michael spoke as he stood there and did not move into the room.
Nikita’s right leg started to bounce as she stood there, her arms moving up and down across her body as if the arms couldn’t hide enough of her from Michael. She parted her lips to talk, but now the words didn’t come. The tears slipped out of her eyes and then Nikita started to move her head from side to side.
“I’ve told you this, Kita… You had strength in that situation that I wouldn’t have had,” Michael rasped as he stayed right where he was. But he turned his head to the side slightly as Nikita’s shoulders started to arch upwards and she lost the color in her face.
“Come on, Kita…” Michael stepped forward and took by the waist as she covered her mouth. He hurried her out of the room and across the hallway into the bathroom. Nikita clutched the toilet as she threw up and started to cry in earnest. Michael sat on the edge of the bath tub and used one hand to hold back her blonde hair while using the other to rub her back.
“I never…” Nikita rasped as she pushed her arms up from the toilet, but her head hung down. Her hands were clutching the rim with all of her strength. “Don’t Kita… you don’t have to do this now…”
Nikita’s shoulders collapsed a bit, but she forced her body to stay up. She looked at the toilet tank and moved her head from side to side. “Had morning sickness.”
“You couldn’t allow yourself to have morning sickness,” Michael pointed out as he paused. He stood up while keeping his hand on Nikita’s back, managed to turn on the sink to dampen a cloth and fill a glass. He extended the glass down to Nikita first and waited for her to clean her mouth out before handing over the cloth.
“Feeling better?” Michael asked after he settled back on the edge of the toilet. Nikita dropped the cloth to the floor and swung her head negatively from side to side. “I’ll... never…”
“You are allowing yourself to feel everything that you kept bottled up for all of those years… so you are feeling it all right now. I know that feeling,” Michael spoke as he pulled at Nikita’s shoulder slightly. He wanted her to turn to look at him, but instead, she turned and leaned against his legs, looking out the door. “I had Adam to focus on… but I spent months and months of sleepless nights feeling everything that I couldn’t allow myself to feel while inside of Section.”
Nikita leaned her head on Michael’s knee and she looked so defeated. This was different than when she was hurt and it was different from the countless other times that Michael thought that everyone had finally defeated Nikita’s will. She looked boneless against the weight of the memories that she had stuck in her head. He also had a feeling that Nikita did not want to talk about it to save herself, but also because she didn’t want others to have the burden of knowing what she had lived through – especially after Michael was free with Adam.
Nikita wouldn’t want Michael to feel guilty at all and telling him would probably bring those thoughts back into his mind.
Michael swallowed hard as he eased his hands through her blonde hair, combing it out after holding it back as he had. He moved slowly and he looked out the door. “You can tell me everything, Kita. I know that you are concerned that I will feel guilty about what you had to go through on your own… and I know that I will feel those feelings…”
Nikita didn’t move but he could tell that she was awake. She was listening to him and he continued to move tenderly with her hair. “But Kita… I felt those feelings of guilt every day without you on my own… but I knew that it was what you desired and that it was what was best for Adam…”
Nikita moved her hand and lifted it only to drop it back down. Michael hesitated in case Nikita was going to speak again, but she didn’t. Nikita stayed quiet and Michael exhaled. “It’s easier to shut everything away… but I was so wrong when I told you about how to compartmentalize your life… putting things in their neat little boxes doesn’t work.”
Michael looked up at the ceiling. She had spoken to Adam because she was on the defense, but Michael couldn’t do that to Nikita again. She played defense way too long. She needed a break. Michael stayed there and shifted slightly. “Tell me what you need, Nikita.”
Time was ticking away as Michael stayed on the edge of the tub, waiting for Nikita. They were both getting cold in the bathroom, but neither moved. Michael wasn’t sure how long he actually stayed there with Nikita, but it easily could have been a half of an hour, just moving his hands tenderly through her hair, letting her know that he was right there beside her.
“Bed,” Nikita finally rasped. Michael nodded his head. He shifted slightly as Nikita lifted her head off of his knee. He got to his feet and easily scooped Nikita into his arms to take her back to her room. He placed her on the bed and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking her face.
Nikita turned her head and looked towards the blank wall. Michael was about to stand up and leave when her hand grasped his without looking at him. Michael exhaled as he looked at Nikita, waiting.
“I have another house,” Nikita declared loudly.
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