| Subject: Priority Mail 104 (language warning) |
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Nikita507
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Date Posted: Friday, December 31, 07:42:41pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 97+" on Thursday, December 23, 07:37:51pm
Ellie eased the tablet down as she looked at Nikita. “Well, we got that part of the examination over… and things are looking pretty good, Nikita.”
Nikita nodded her head as she moved her eyes to look over to the wall, much like she had looked when Ellie had drawn blood. Ellie knew that she was stalling right now, but she was unsure if Nikita was truly ready for the rest of this examination. “There is some information that it would help to have on your chart… there isn’t much family history.”
“Section didn’t care,” Nikita looked directly at Ellie and then blinked her eyes. Ellie pulled a stool over and looked at Nikita. “Maybe I can add some of that in now. Before we continue the exam.”
“Stop stalling,” Nikita declared with terse words. Ellie stood back up and nodded her head. “I just wanted to be sure that you wanted this right now.”
Nikita just stared at Ellie but did not say anything further. Ellie walked towards the examination table and smiled at Nikita. “Maybe you can tell me more about your mother and father while I do the breast examination. I’m used to patients talking a lot more during an exam… telling me about things that may not feel right… or just at least asking questions.”
Nikita looked at Ellie’s hand and simply leaned back when the table was reclined. Ellie looked at Nikita and tilted her head to the side. “Single mother?”
“If that,” Nikita tersely replied as she blinked her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Ellie stroked Nikita’s hair back. “Do you know much about her?”
Nikita didn’t reply again and Ellie rolled her shoulders back. “A family history is really important to get. Maybe Jason can research her.”
Michael had entered the room and Nikita was grateful that the machines that appeared to be attached to her were not really showing her vital stats. This moment was surreal and in ways Nikita wanted to just let her mother hang with no knowing forever for the life that Nikita had while growing up.
“My baby. My baby, what have they done to you? What have they done?” Roberta’s voice was cracking with emotion that Nikita knew that she had never heard before. She had seen the information and reports about Roberta – the changed woman. But it did not mean that it made it easier to hear this now.
“When she was in prison, they offered her an alternative to incarceration. To be a part of a high risk, top secret medical experiment. She knew what she was getting into,” Michael explained with the words that Nikita had helped him script. He had said them over and over again to Nikita so that she would know what to expect and so that she would not react in any way.
“How could they do this?” Roberta asked and Nikita continued to focus on just getting through the moment and trying not to hear things that she didn’t hear ever her life. But she heard concern from her mother. That was a rare bird in Nikita’s life.
“Well, these things happen all the time,” Michael responded as Nikita was almost sure that he was moving closer. She wished that Michael would have just given her medication to sleep through this entire encounter.
“Is there any hope for her?” Roberta asked in a way that made it sound like her heart was breaking for her daughter.
“The damage is total.”
“Then why are they keeping her like this?” her concerned mother’s voice was strained and broken. Nikita had felt that many times as a child but her mother never heard her.
“They were planning to use her body parts to do some other experiments. But I was able to gain her release,” Michael explained in a cool manner that Nikita had instructed him to use.
“You -- you mean I can take her home?” Roberta inquired and Nikita almost lost the control of her ploy that she was playing right now. She almost laughed. Roberta had never really wanted Nikita at home, when they had one.
“No. But you can set her free. I'll let you say goodbye to her,” Michael spoke and Nikita regretted telling Michael to allow her mother to have this time. Nikita just wanted this over and she didn’t want to hear anything more from Roberta.
“Nikita? Nikita? I was never a mother to you. You know, when I -- I think back on our time together, I feel like my heart is ripping out, and I'm so ashamed. I …” Roberta started to speak and Nikita felt like her entire insides were being set on fire. Roberta was being given a way to close the relationship up but Nikita wasn’t begin given the opportunity to tell Roberta what she truly felt.
“What I need to say to you, sweetie, the reason I tried so hard to find you, is -- is -- that -- that wasn't me. This is me. And you're in my heart. And you always have been. And you al -- you always will be. You know…you know I'm sure that there's -- there's one memory in there -- a fond memory -- and that if you really try hard enough you can find it. Please. I want…I want you to find it, please, and take it with you….” Roberta’s voice was so thin and so lost. Nikita felt that emotion. There was no way that Nikita couldn’t feel Roberta’s grief, but it did nothing to help Nikita.
Michael was in the room and moving closer again. Nikita wanted him to get Roberta out quickly and to stay close, but Nikita knew that he wouldn’t. He had to go along with the ploy here. He would stay with Roberta until the doctor, actually Davenport, would say that Nikita had passed. Then Michael would escort Roberta home.
“I want her taken off life support and her organs donated to someone who can use them,” Roberta spoke before the room soon grew silent and finally Nikita could allow her body to finch with the emotional torture that she had just endured.
“Nikita?” Ellie spoke as she pulled her hands up off of Nikita’s breasts. She had a feeling that Nikita’s mind had gone somewhere else, but the gasp was a sign that it was something that Nikita had not anticipated. Nikita blinked her eyes and swallowed hard. “What did you just ask?”
“I wanted to know how often you give yourself breast examinations,” Ellie responded as she could see Nikita’s defenses were too strong right now. She wasn’t going to talk about whatever she had just been thinking about.
“Not every month – but I try,” Nikita admitted as she did look at Ellie. She looked away immediately; almost sure that Ellie could read her thoughts. “Continue please.”
Ellie exhaled loudly as she cleared her throat. “I usually have a nurse with me…”
“You’ve already explained that,” Nikita snapped as she found a point on the ceiling and attempted to focus on that even while her ears picked up the sound of the stirrups being positioned. “And I’ll confirm again. I haven’t been examined since well before I was pregnant.”
Ellie touched Nikita’s legs and watched as Nikita’s body jumped slightly, but not as much as she thought she would. Ellie was beginning to regret having her nurse leave them be. If Nikita started to get a really vivid memory of any sort, it could be almost impossible for Ellie to control the situation. She also knew that Michael was in the waiting room but she did not think Michael would just enter without knowing that Nikita was ok with him entering. That’s why he was still out in the waiting room.
“I need you to scoot all the way down…” Ellie gently spoke as she assisted Nikita after getting her feet into the stirrups. “I’ve had exams before.”
Ellie was sure that Nikita had exams before but she also knew from reading Nikita’s medical file that the last two pelvis exams they had of Nikita were held while she was sedated, both times in conjunction with injuries that she had received surgery for repair. “So you know how I do my examination… I always start with inserting the speculum… mine is warmed…”
“Lose the play-by-play,” Nikita spoke through clenched teeth as she just wanted Ellie to start this by now. Nikita glanced towards her knees as Ellie nodded her head and positioned the stool.
But Ellie continued to talk but Nikita exhaled and tried to keep her eyes focused on that spot on the ceiling. But she was failing.
”Look what I have here,” the cocky jock spoke as he walked closer to Nikita as she tried to continue down the street to the apartment building that she had been living in for about six months. She had even been able to start school, although she was in remedial classes due to her lack of steady education. They were leaving the light and Nikita pulled closer to the building. “It’s the school whore.”
Nikita flinched by kept on walking, not saying a word to this boy. In the scant light she could tell that he was one of the offensive linemen of the football team and he was known to be adding notches to his bedpost.
“Come on… I’ll show you some fun,” the jock chuckled as he grabbed Nikita’s arm and thrusted his hips up and down. “I think since we go to the same school… I should have a school discount or something.”
“Leave me be,” Nikita hissed back as she wrenched her arm out of his hand and started to walk again. Her eyes became wide as she could recognize the danger ahead, a very dark alley was just feet away and she was heading right towards it.
“Bitch, you are going to show me something tonight… I’m just not going to be showing you money,” the jock laughed as he pushed at her body and soon she was in the darker shadows of the alleyway. Nikita turned and looked at him. “You have me confused for my mother… she is the one that will take care of your carnal needs.”
“Look at that vocabulary! I thought all whores were stupid!” The jock laughed as he reached out and stroked Nikita’s hair to the side and then yanked it hard. “And your mother is in the bar with some other man… While I’m sure that she wouldn’t mind being shared, I don’t take seconds.”
“Leave me alone,” Nikita spoke as she tried to pull her head away. “I’m not into what you think…”
“Darling, we all know that Mr. Gannon is hitting some when he is doing your private study hall… he is a dirty old man who teaches remedial students all day… you are his consolation prize,” the jock declared as he pulled down Nikita’s pants and laughed.
“Nikita, are you still with me?” Ellie called out and Nikita swallowed hard. “Just get this over with, Dr. Hlad.”
“Ok,” Ellie sighed as she wanted to tell Nikita to just continue to breath. She could sense that Nikita was thinking something and she hoped that Nikita could just continue to get through the entire exam. “I’m going to do the Pap smear now…”
Nikita leaned her head back more as she shook the thoughts of that jock out of her head. That wasn’t the first time that she had been raped. It was the second time. The first time was one of her mother’s boyfriends when she was just starting to develop. Nikita never told Roberta as she knew that Roberta wouldn’t be sober enough to remember what Nikita had told her.
“You didn’t tear when you delivered your baby…” Ellie commented moments later after removing the speculum.
“She was small,” Nikita reminded Ellie with a rasp as she didn’t want to think about the baby.
“Still… it’s good to know that it didn’t happen because one of my main concerns would have been you could have not healed properly… Your breasts had seemed to show…”
“I never produced milk,” Nikita interrupted as she closed her eyes. She had found medicine that Section had developed and taken it while moving any evidence of the birth out of the Perch. Nikita didn’t want to know why Section had developed a medicine that successfully stopped a mother from producing milk almost immediately. It was best not to know, but to know that she wouldn’t have to hide her breasts until they dried up naturally from not breast feeding.
“That’s not a normal thing… but given it was Section… I think you had an uneventful delivery…” Ellie spoke.
”Sugar… why didn’t you tell me? A long time ago!” Walter exclaimed as Nikita rode through the contraction and looked up at Walter. “I need to deliver this baby now, Walter.”
“Hell, Sugar… we should go to medical! I’m not a doctor! What if something…”
“No one will know. Ever,” Nikita hissed as she pushed her body up and looked at Walter. “You need to be ready to get this baby, Walter. I’m pushing…”
“Wait! You don’t know if that is right…”
“I’ve been in labor for almost a whole day, Walter.”
“You were running missions,” Walter pointed out and he tilted his head to the side. “No…”
“I only have a couple hours to have this baby, have you get it out of here, and be back to normal for a meeting with The Centre…. Now get ready to deliver this baby, Walter,” Nikita commanded as the pains washed over her body and Nikita started to bare down. It was with Nikita’s determination to start pushing that had Walter jump to action. When Nikita was determined, she could do anything.
“Oh… it’s crowning, Sugar… you are having a baby….” Walter whispered gently. He jerked his head up and looked at Nikita. “Please tell me that it is absolutely Michael’s and you didn’t just say that…”
“Walter,” Nikita looked at him with a face that she hoped told him that the only person she would ever think of having a child with in this situation was Michael. She would only risk her entire life in bringing a life into the world because it was Michael’s child.
Moments later, Walter lifted the baby up with tears in his eyes. “Sugar… it’s a girl… it’s a girl…”
“I told you that I could get this done quickly,” Ellie declared as she pulled her gloves off and then eased Nikita’s legs out of the stirrups. Nikita closed her eyes and chewed on the inside of her lip for just a second before sitting up and pulling her legs in close to her body. Ellie stopped as she looked at Nikita. “You can get dressed now… I’ll come in and we can talk about some things we need to watch… when you can expect results from the blood work and the Pap smear…”
Nikita stared to the wall until the door closed with Ellie outside before the tears sprung from her eyes as she was suddenly unable to do anything to hold her emotions in check.
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