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Date Posted: 06/28/03 7:03am
Author: Anita
Subject: Thanks for the review.
In reply to: Molle 's message, "Greg in Boston 6/27/03 (spoilers, adult themes)" on 06/28/03 1:04am

Good job at remembering all the details.
It was nice to read what happened. Sounded like a great
show, wished that I lived closer so I could have seen
it. I just love Greg, he's really funny.

>The air conditioning is not working in the comedy
>club. It is a sauna. They also had a fire in the
>kitchen not too long ago, so the bar is makeshift and
>getting a drink is a Herculean task. So far, so good.
>The emcee's name is Eric Hoffa or Koffa. It is a
>general rule that all opening acts bite. I seem to
>remember seeing this guy a few years ago when he
>emceed for Brad Sherwood, and he hasn't gotten any
>better. Most of the jokes revolve around, "Any single
>people here?" Insert joke about sex. "Any married
>couples here?" Insert joke about sex. "Any big black
>guys here?" Insert joke about sex. He closes with a
>joke so old it has been mummified and laid in state in
>Egypt, the one about going to dinner and farting and
>blaming it on the dog. The hook. Get the hook.
>The midliner's name is Gary Gilman. He is six foot
>six, cute in an indie rock boy kinda way. He tells
>jokes about cookies, tattoos, speed limits, the
>(censored) who do their own commercials for their
>furniture stores (I don't know if the gag travels well
>outside New England), how the sex of a baby is never a
>surprise, Yiddish words, nonexistant professions, and
>Batman. He is engagingly surreal and chipper, with the
>'please love me please love me I'll make you love me,'
>type of persona. I'd like to see him again.
>Greg's hair is tilted at an angle. He starts with New
>England stuff, about the stereotypical Boston accent,
>which people have told me is quite harsh to the ear,
>complains about the heat outside and inside ("I'm
>losing weight up here"), comparing it to the Killing
>Fields of Cambodia, about the driving and the roads
>with signs written in Esperanto, and about Rhode
>Island, which is very dinky. The Rhode Island stuff
>segues into the Great White club fire stuff, which
>segues into Greg complaining because the audience
>'suddenly has developed taste' and is not laughing as
>hard as he wants. The basic gist is that the people in
>the club in Rhode Island caused the date rape rate to
>go down fifty percent by dying. And most of them lived
>at home with their parents and drove pickup trucks
>with the word 'yo' written on the back.
>He also complains about Paul McCartney and how Heather
>his wife pulled some Tae Bo Tantric sex Matrix trick
>on him and made him a (censored) whose song "Freedom"
>made Greg want to form his own terrorist cell. (On the
>first show, he started to make a joke about Paul
>switching the songwriting credits from
>Lennon/McCartney to McCartney/Lennon, tripped over his
>words and mumbled, "I just f***ed that joke up," which
>made the first show audience laugh and Greg say, "I
>get it now. You laugh at my pain and embarrassment."
>He never did finish the joke) He jokes about Heather
>shilling for an anti-land mine organization despite
>being 50% less likely to lose a limb to a landmine. He
>also complains about not enough people finding the
>Heather stuff funny because "if any of you were
>friends with them, you'd be in England at Sting's
>mansion getting a (censored because I thought of the
>He talks about the Dixie Chicks and how he wishes they
>were real transvestites so they could be the Dixie
>Chicks with Dicks. He complains that they're fucking
>up Landslide even more than Stevie Nicks did, which
>leads into an impression of Miss Nicks, (well, it's
>really Greg's devil bit with the lyrics to Landslide
>in place of miniature Snickers), where suddenly Stevie
>turns into Gollum from Lord of the Rings and slithers
>all over the stage. He talks about English country
>music fans, who travel around in a double-decker bus
>with "If you ain't from Brighton, you ain't sh*te!"
>written on the side, because there are no trailer
>parks in England. (Um, Greg? Honey babe? Ever heard of
>caravans? Huh?) He also sings Tubthumping, which is a
>'hard-hitting documentary,' in England. I get knocked
>down! But I get up again! You're never gonna keep me
>down! He talks about people in Texas getting angry
>because Natalie Maines said she was ashamed the
>President was from Texas, and burning the Dixie Chicks
>CDs. Greg is still upset at Merle Haggard for things
>he said in the seventies but has yet to burn his
>records. He wonders why people would be so upset,
>since things country singers say rarely affect
>anyone's real life. And the irony of putting a
>petroleum-based product on a petroleum fire because
>you're ticked about comments made over a war on
>petroleum. If you weren't a country music fan, you'd
>be able to appreciate the irony instead of you and
>your children keeling over from the fumes.
>He talks about how stupid musicians and actors are,
>how actors have no personality so they can be filled
>with a character, how Daniel Day Lewis is overacting
>in the poster for Gangs of New York,
>where he looks like Popeye. There's a deliciously
>funny bit about actors at the Oscars struggling to
>look smart as they read off a teleprompter, giving
>awards to films like There Should Have Been
>Strawberries, and Wow, That's a Lot of Hay. He also
>rags on Fred Durst for lapsing into Old English at the
>Grammys and using the word 'agreeance.' Fred Durst, if
>you haven't heard by now, is a bizarrely misshapen
>date-raping troll.
>He also talks about George Bush's 'diplomacy,' where
>he has never had to negotiate for anything in his life
>and therefore 'Yer either furrus or aginus!' Which is
>why he couldn't get the French on board. The French
>need coaxing. They invented foreplay, don't you know.
>Clinton could have said, "After the war, comes the
>lovin'," and everything would have been fine.
>One of the reasons I like going to more than one show
>is seeing the reactions of the different audiences.
>The first crowd seemed younger and hipper, so there
>was a lot more laughing and going along with the flow,
>despite Greg's complaining to the contrary. But Greg
>complains even when the crowd is rolling in the
>aisles, so that's no surprise. The second crowd seemed
>a little more square, which required Greg to give a
>lecture at several points and finally declare that he
>wasn't going to leave the stage until the audience
>gave him what he wanted (love). Then a couple gets up
>and walks out. Greg says goodbye nicely to them. But
>he is also very, very angry.
>When Greg gets angry, he digs his heels in. So, after
>repeatedly snarling about the couple who had to leave
>because they were late for the 'date rape Olympics,'
>Boston's character is impugned, the crowd is berated,
>the night is marked down as 'sh*tty,' while Greg
>insists repeatedly that he is not in the slightest
upset. Then he seems like he feels better,
>tells a penis joke, and leaves. Oddly enough, the
>crowd who he insisted hated him cheers loudly.
>I love Greg when he's cranky.

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  • Re: Greg in Boston 6/27/03 -- Jean M, 06/28/03 1:16pm
  • Heat and stuff -- Molle, 06/29/03 12:08am

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