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Date Posted: 07/20/03 11:06pm
Author: Michelle
Subject: Brad and Dave at the Ontario Improv 6/27/03

I finally got this report done. Brad and Dave's show was good as always. I'm working on a second one that I'm hoping to have ready soon.

There were two stand ups before Brad and a guy had arranged with the Improv before the show to propose to his girlfriend from stage. He did and she said yes. Brad came on stage after that and said it was a good thing she said yes, because if she said no nothing would kill a comedy show faster. When Brad first came on stage he was playing air guitar with the mic stand to the music which made both Laura and I laugh since we'd been to a Friendly Indians concert the night before where this kid was doing the same thing. Brad introduced Dave and the games began...

Pillars:
Brad asked for the suggestion of a superhero and took the suggestion of Underpants Man. Dave was Thong Boy. During this game, Brad and Dave would raise their hand and the audience would yell a suggestion to complete their sentence. This game was just full of puns that were so bad they were funny. Brad and Dave ended up trying to save the world from the Vagina. Brad invited Dave to slide up behind him on his bike so they could track her down. Speeding off, Brad asked Dave if he left any skid marks. Finding the vagina Dave decided to sneak up on her using a vibrator. Brad didn't think she'd mind that, but he'd have to get through the bush first.

Sign Language:
Brad asked the audience who thought they had an interesting job. Several people raised their hand, but Brad narrowed it down between a spa repair man and a toe truck driver. He had the audience vote, and the spa repair man won. He came on stage and while Dave asked him questions about his job, Brad would interpret what was being said for the hearing impaired. The spa repair man was very funny. Dave asked him what he did, and he said that he was a spa repair man. Brad leaned back and looked relaxed like he was in a spa to describe the spa repairman. Dave asked him if he got to see a lot of big expensive homes in his work, and the spa repairman said that he saw lots of crazy shit. Dave asked him to describe something out of the ordinary, and he said that one time he had to repair the spa of a 60 year old. Brad acted that out by pretending that he had swaying pendulous breasts, but he was still relaxing in the spa.

Sound Effects:
Brad pulled two people out of the audience and then asked for the suggestion of a dangerous occupation. After a group of women scremed nursing, he accepted it, "Looks like we have a group of nurses in the audience." Brad and Dave started by preparing for triage by scrubbing up. Dave turned on his water. but instead of getting water he was going to blow his hands clean. Brad turned on his water and got nothing. so he said that his sink was broken. so he was going to try another one. That one worked so he scrubbed up. Dave finally got his sink working. Next Dave decided to put on his rubber gloves, and Brad followed. The first time Brad tried he got no sound, but the second time he snapped both gloves on. They entered the operating room and had to prepare the patient for surgery. Brad listened to the patients heartbeat, which was very fast. Dave decided to take his blood pressure, but instead he interpreted the sound as jacking his patient off. Brad thought that was a good idea since the patient was stressed it would relax him. Dave knew that because, as one of the nurses in the audience yelled out, he was the head nurse. Brad decided that it was time to knock out the patient, but when he turned on the gas nothing came out at first. Then it started coming out but stopped, so Brad decided that they ran out of gas.

Husband and Wife:
Brad chose Laura and Lewis out of the audience to participate in this game. Lewis was the toe truck driver that didn't get chosen for Interpretation. Brad explained that he would be playing Lewis and Dave would be playing Laura. When Brad said something that Lewis would say, Laura was supposed to ring the bell, and when he said something way off she was supposed to blow a horn. Lewis was to do the same for Dave. Brad started out snoring in bed, and Laura rang the bell. Dave gently tried to wake him, and Lewis blew the horn. Dave changed it to yelling at Brad to get up, and Lewis rang the bell. Brad yelled that he just wanted a few more minutes sleep, and Laura rang the bell. Dave told him that he'd spent all morning cooking him breakfast, and Lewis blew the horn. Eventually they got to Brad telling Dave that he was the greatest lover she ever had, and Laura blew the horn. Brad changed to that he thinks he's the greatest and she rang the bell. Brad said something about having a large penis, and Laura kind of covered her face with her hands and started laughing, but she couldn't decide whether to ring the bell or blow the horn. It was so funny because it took her a while to decide, and everyone including Brad was looking at her while she decided. Brad finally leaned up against one of the stools and started staring at her, and then the lighting guy narrowed the spotlight and shined it on both of them, when she finally rang the bell, and Brad ended the game.

New Choice:
Brad passed out three horns to the audience and explained that they would have to blow the horn in order to get Brad and Dave to change the last line they said. Brad asked for something they might sell during an infomercial and accepted sex toys. I don't remember much from this game except for the end when Dave kept having to change what he said over and over again. Eventually Brad drug one of the stools out to center stage and just sat there and watched him while poor Dave sweated coming up with a new suggestions while the audience kept making him choose something else to say.

Interrogation:
Dave left the room, and Brad asked for the suggestion of a crime, location of a crime and the weapon. The audience just kept yelling out one word suggestions, so Brad said that he felt like he was playing Mad Libs and he guessed that he'd have to put the suggestions together. Eventually he settled on Dave going fishing naked in the desert using a straw with a transvestite prostitute he picked up in a disco. I thought it would take Dave forever to get everything, but it didn't take him that long. Probably the funniest part was when Brad was giving him clues for disco, and he said that he needed to go back about 30 years. Dave guessed a pac-man party. Brad told him he needed to go back a little bit further, and he got disco. This is one of my favorite games, and I wish I got to see it played more often.

Rap:
Brad ended the show by doing a rap song. He brought up a guy named Jeff who was a financial planner. Brad asked Jeff more about his job, and Jeff told him that he was a financial planner for seniors. Brad asked him if he played any sports, and Jeff said that he was a high school football coach and that he was into marshal arts. Brad responded with, "So if I say something you don't like you can kick my ass." Brad asked him if he had any hobbies, and Jeff said the he was into combat simulation. Brad was happy about that and said that he'd hit the jackpot and wanted to hear more about that. Jeff said that they fire rubber bullets at each other and it hurts. Brad said that Jeff needed a rap name and asked the audience for suggestions. The audience suggestions were not very nice. There were many but the one I remember was Jerkoff Jeff, and Brad was like come on people, he didn't come up here to be insulted. I don't know what the spa guy said, but Brad came back with telling him that he banged 60 year olds so he shouldn't talk. Finally Brad decided on MC Jeff or Jeff MC. He told Jeff that he'd say his name when Brad gave him the mic, and he'd have to listen to Brad to use the right version of his name to rhyme. Brad started to sing about Jeff's job and hobbies, and he'd give Jeff the mic to say his name. The first time Jeff used the wrong version of his name, but he got it right all the other times. One of the funniest parts of this game is Dave. He starts dancing when Brad sings, and it's a strange mix of disturbing and hysterically funny.

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