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Date Posted: 10:32:27 04/17/02 Wed
Author: Matt
Subject: THIS IS THELONIUS MONSTER...


(I found this in my inbox from a friend, dated 4/18/97. It's so good I had to post it. I've altered some names to protect the guilty. Hope the original poster doesn't mind. Nez, you out there? -Matt).


(10 years of highlights)

4/25/87 - some club in Fullerton. It's my 18th birthday. I go with my
brother (and Andrea Sxxxxx?) to see El Grupo Sexo. The opening band
finally gets set up. We're like "what's up with these guys?" There's
at least 8 people on stage and more than half of them are playing guitar.
The lead singer (Bob) is playing acoustic. Each member has on black
square rimmed glasses. I've never heard anything so beautifully chaotic.
A fan is born.

Variety Arts Center - Thelonius is opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
They make it through 3 songs before the band storms offstage leaving Bob
alone at the mic fumbling with an unplugged acoustic. He's highly
intoxicated and the band is pissed. He finally says the heck with it
and tells everyone that the last time he was here he promised that he
would ride his bike. He leaves the stage for a minute and
then reappears on an old 3-speed. He rides across the stage and crashes
into a moniter.

Laguna Beach 18&over "clean" Danceclub - A new club has opened in Laguna
Beach. There is no smoking and no drinking. As we wait for the band to
set up, the house is playing George Michael and Erasure. There are 18 year
old girls in stilletos and tight white mini-skirts dancing in circles
and slicing the air with their hands. The band looks out on the scene
in wonder. Pete is scratching his head. Finally they're set. Before
the house music even comes down Zander turns up the volume on his amp
and the whine of distortion rings out over the dancing crowd. The band
then proceeds to blow into THE most rocking version of Guns-N-Roses
"Welcome to the Jungle" that I have ever heard. I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E
The entire club of depressed teenagers is out of there in minutes.
When the song ends, the 10 of us who had come to see the band are
the only ones left standing. They do an entire show of requests. Keith
Morris does the obligatory "Nervous Breakdown" and I freak out and slam
dance with myself...

UCSD Gym Steps (1988 or 1989) - I drag my roommates and everyone I know
to the show promising them that it's going to be awesome. Axxxx, Sxxxxx,
Mxxxx, Lxxxx, my brother(?). We're all there. I'm standing next to Paul
Mxxxx when the band starts playing. Bob hasn't joined them yet.
The momentum builds as they crescendo into Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".
Sweet Emotion...Sweet Emotion...Sweet Emotion...Sweet Emotion.
Finally, Bob appears from the side and walks up to the mic right on
queue and thunders into the verse, "Talkin' bout things and nobody
cares!" He's at his best, kicking his foot and his knee into the mic
stand and throwing his head to the side. I look over at Paul; his jaw
is hung open and he is beginning to drool. We make the front page of
the UCSD Guardian standing on the steps in front of the band.

SDSU Back Door
The Casbah (The OLD Casbah)
McCabe's Guitar Shop
Santa Monica Civic (opening for Joe Strummer)
Bogarts
The Too Many Joes Show
The Foothill
...too many shows to remember

The last time I see Thelonius is at Jack's Sugar Shack on Pico.
I go with Dina, Lucky, and the mother of his daughter (his girlfriend?).
I sit on the floor right in front of the foot high stage. Jack's is
a restaurant with tables. As the band starts, Flea runs across the stage
and jumps onto one of the front tables. He breaks two glasses on the table
as he crashes into a guys lap. The guy is pissed. Flea apologizes and
when the guy realizes it's Flea he's not _as_ pissed. Bob talks about
being back East for awhile and how they gave him a driver's license.
He shows the license to the crowd. Apparently, he hasn't had one in CA
for quite some time. The show ends when Bob invites friends who are there
to come up on stage and grab an instrument. The bass player for Porno
for Piros comes up and grabs the bass. Bob gives him a hard time for
quitting Thelonius to play with Perry. Mike Watt gets on stage and since
the bass is occupied he takes Chris Handson's guitar from him. I forget
what songs they do, but Mike Watt gives Chris' guitar a thorough beating.
He breaks at least three strings as he slaps the poor Fender 6-string silly.
I talk to Keith Morris near the bathroom and he says that the Circle Jerks
are reforming.

And so goes the genre of L.A. punk rock legend...

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