| Subject: (the very last ever) Trailer Talk: Endgame |
Author:
Chuckie
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Date Posted: 09:11:48 05/17/01 Thu
("Beam Onboard)
BEAM ON BOARD FOR MAY'S BIGGEST EVENT
(a gnarly-headed Klingon dude with a bad sunburn looks up, a Bird of Prey kicks shuttle heinie in a planet's atmosphere, Tuvok reads his board)
Tuvok: There's a vessel coming through the rift.
(a vessel comes through the rift)
[Me: Do you think Voyager is finally gaining some subtlety?]
[Editor: *looks at me funny*]
(Janeway looks mighty comfy in her command chair next to her mouth breathing Chakotay)
Chakotay: Klingon?
(Tuvok looks surprised)
Tuvok (surprised): Federation.
[Me: Did I miss something, not watching DS9? Isn't the Klingon Empire part of the Federation?]
(Borg Queenie basks in the green light (working on a green tan, no doubt))
THE FINAL EPISODE
(Voyager flies grandly through the rift)
[ME: Subtle *and* mysterious.]
OF VOYAGER
(Seven and Chakotay hold hands romantically as she draws a heaving bosum breath, Old Gray Mare Janeway speaks to Auburn Goddess Janeway)
OGM: Seven of Nine is going to die.
(Queenie snaps off a look, green light wars with white as Queenie lunges for a regenerating Seven)
Seven: My death will be a small price to pay (scrreeetching halt to the sound edit).
(regenerating Seven's eyes snap open, green vagina opens in a Borg Cube)
[Editor (sweating): Chuckie!]
[Me: (innocent): What? (Ob KerBear ref)]
(a small bloom of white light rushes from the va...opening in the Borg Cube and spasms in an orgasm of energy)
[Me: That better?]
[Editor (sighing): Whatever.]
WILL THEY MAKE IT HOME?
(Tuvok waxes pedantic)
Tuvok: To quote Ambassador Spock, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.")
(Chakotay, Auburn Goddess, Seven and Tuvok look up in Astrometrics, B'Elanna rips the Doctor's chest clear off while screaming during delivery, Paris puts his hands on B'Elanna's belly to help push that sucker out before she kills anyone else, in a very pretty shot Voyager rushes toward a flaming (?) planet backlighting a Borg Cube and orbital space station)
Janeway (retreading a promo): We're not going to attempt this unless everyone in this room agrees.
[Me: That's weird. Voyager re-using material?]
[Editor: Imagine.]
(Janeway speaks to the command staff, Pilot Paris looks up at from his station, Voyager dukes it out with two Birds of Prey, Klingons do the macho thing on their ship)
Klingon: Stop her!
(Bird of Prey puts the smackdown on a shuttle, Old Janeway does the "they shot me" jitter in a shuttle - slowly...cause she's old I guess - as the sparks fly behind her)
(Queenie looks up in pleasure at her prize)
Queenie: Voyager will be destroyed.
(Paris screams like a girl and looks away while Old Janeway ducks and weaves as a Borg Cube rushes at them in the view screen (oh, okay, he doesn't scream, but I think he wet his pants), Voyager juuuuuuust misses the Cube)
THE STAR TREK VOYAGER SERIES FINALE
(Admiral Paris and Broccoli look concerned, Queenie stalks her prey, Queenie PUNCHES an unconscious Old Janeway in her throat as she hangs in statis)
[Me: Ow!]
[Editor: Oooh!]
Janeway: Gah!!!!
A TWO HOUR TELEVISION EVENT
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