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Date Posted: 13:54:38 07/21/01 Sat
Author: Princess Ditzyhick
Author Host/IP: proxy1-external.roalok1.mi.home.com / 24.4.252.136
Subject: Oh, my FREAKING GOSH!
In reply to: JMC 's message, "Glad to ruin your mood..." on 13:12:35 07/21/01 Sat

You know what? I tried. I really did... and you completely shot me down, ridiculed me, and discredited everything I said! You said you want attention, well you got it! What the hell else am I supposed to do?!
You don't want what you say you want. Obviously. Because when you got it, it just made you madder. It's like you enjoy conflict, and couldn't care less when one of the people you accused of hating/ignoring/maligning you paid attention to you, and said they cared!! That makes a whole lotta sense.

First off, I don't think I excessively ignore people on my board... anyone who is civil and appropriate and says something that I have a reply for, I reply to. But how do you get off telling me I have no right? Even if I chose to blantanly ignore EVERYONE here, that would be perfectly legal, and ethical. I don't have to have a message board, I don't have to visit it, and I don't have to post on it anymore than I feel like it. That statement made no sense to me whatsoever.

Can't stop talking to him? If only you had any idea what you were talking about...Keep in mind there are a lot of things that haven't been publicized...
but like I said before, why the hell shouldn't I? What you expect me to do is exactly like asking me to pretend Kendra doesn't exist, just to make you feel better... You would never ask me to pretend Kendra doesn't exist, because you know there is no possible way I could do it.

You were important enough for me to try to look into what you do... why are you so mad? "push you aside like a block of ice"? What are you talking about? What did you expect me to do?

You never claimed you didn't believe me, but you did keep saying that nobody cared, and nobody was interested, even though it wasn't true, because I was both caring AND interested! That's all we were saying, is that I DID, and you keep saying no one did. But clearly you don't give a hoot what I think.


If that's the only thing you're jealous of, you wouldn't keep attacking the fact that we are close.

Ignoring the god comment. I don't even feel like discussing that anymore.

If you're not pissed at being ignored by me, then don't act like it, and don't lump me in with those you are pissed at. I do the best I can, and when that's not good enough... then it's not.

I'm not sure if you're saying I should have a family like that or Anthony should... but you don't know my family... they put me in a mental hospital because they couldn't deal with me...and I won't even get into what Anthony's been through with his family... but it's not like we have fairy tale home lives. But the way I see it, you do deserve my support, you just apparently have no desire to have it.


What do you mean I don't acknowledge your existence? You go off mad, and don't come back for months, and when I do get a chance to be on instant messenger, you're not on. What am I supposed to do? Hunt you down and show up at your front door? You don't acknowledge my existence any more than I acknowledged yours.

Prove you wrong? That's what I set out to do... I wrote that huge stupid letter to show you that somebody heard what you said, and somebody thought about it, and somebody took valuable time out there day to give their thoughts about it... all just for you. What else should I have done? Did you want me to just kiss ass and say, "oh, you're perfect, I love you"? and not tell you how I felt about it or defend myself whatsoever? Because if that's what you're going for, I'll do that. Whatever will make you happy. I'm tired of fighting, I don't know what this is about, I don't know why I got dragged into it, and I don't know why I can't just stop caring and say f you and be done with it. But that's how I am... I just care too much, even though it makes no difference to you.

"Kara, get it through your thick skull--" was completely uncalled for. and the following statement of "YOU'RE HARDLY EVER ON AIM" is misinformed... I have been on instant messenger at least 6 days out of the week all summer except for the weeks of June 17-23 and July 8-14, when I was out of town. The fact that it is not corresponding with times you were on is in no way my doing.

If you really feel the way you say you do, then nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise, and make you do anything you don't want to do. I understand that. What I said was sincere and caring, but you don't give a damn. I tried to make you see that someone was listening, and that someone was willing to make an effort if you wanted to work things out and stick around, but I guess that's not what you wanted after all.

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