Date Posted:17:58:34 10/25/09 Sun Author: Ian Author Host/IP: cpc1-darl6-0-0-cust743.midd.cable.ntl.com / 82.1.142.232 Subject: Funding for Egyptology Suspended due to the Recession
This News is brought to you from the Egyptastic people, both sad and funny, those Norwegians can't get over beating England once at Football :P
" Earlier this year, Egyptastic brought you the first part of our Special Report on Egyptology and the Global Recession. Now, following the British Academy's shocking announcement on Monday morning that all funding to British Egyptology projects will be frozen until 2015, we bring you the very latest reactions from the frontline of the crisis.
Speaking with one of our reporters yesterday, Egypt Exploration Society spokesman Stan H. Unicorn, who only months earlier had reassured the academic community that the donations of a clutch of 'terminally ill old duffers' would avert any foreseen financial crises, had this to say: "I'm afraid my initial prognosis may have been a little optimistic, perhaps even complacent. It seems that an increase in blueberry consumption and a fondness for soya-based foodstuffs is keeping our more elderly patrons in remarkably robust health. Furthermore, the 75+ demographic now seems to be embracing an irresponsible spending culture; frittering their savings on designer handbags and exotic cruises rather than leaving it to their offspring or to worthy causes such as the EES."
Compounding the bad news delivered by the Academy was an announcement by the Supreme Council of Antiquities that a lack of financial backing will not be allowed to hinder the progress of Egyptological discovery. Consequently, concessions held by British directors are to be passed over immediately to other nations where the academic pursuit of Egyptian archaeology is in its well-funded infancy.
Dr Simon Sedgwick, a field archaeologist from Liverpool University, told Egyptastic: "Oh, this is just brilliant. Not only will us Egyptologists face a long five years of desk-based research with only our philological counterparts for company, but our vital work will end up in the hands of some bloody two-bit, Scandowegian country without the first clue of effective fieldwork project design." He went on: "Their so-called 'Egyptologists' have been sitting around for years on bags of funding, day after day, drinking tea and re-reading Renfrew and Bahn in anticipation of just such a call to arms."
Whilst British Egyptologists have reacted with predictable indignation to the news, it has been welcomed in many of the smaller states that are expected to benefit from the transferal of the concessions. Egyptastic spoke to Norway's leading Egyptologist, Dr Olav Falkberget just a day after the announcement, as he and his team moved into the 'Beyt Emery' dighouse on the Saqqara Plateau. Taking a short break from the move, Dr Falkberget climbed onto an old trunk of Survey of Memphis maps and announced to our reporter, with unabashed glee:
Vi er best I verden! Vi er best I verden! Vi har slått England i egyptologi!! Det er aldeles utrolig! Vi har slått England! England, kjempers fødeland. Flinders Petrie, Howard Carter, Barbara Adams, David Jeffreys, Ian Shaw, The Spencers, Penny Wilson - vi har slått dem alle sammen. Vi har slått dem alle sammen. Barry Kemp can you hear me?
Barry Kemp, Jeg har et budskap til deg. Jeg har et budskap til deg. Vi har slått England ut av Egyptologi. Barry Kemp, som de sier på ditt språk i boksebarene rundt Madison Square Garden i New York: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
