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Date Posted: 13:01:20 09/10/03 Wed
Author: julie
Subject: ineedhelp

before i say anything, i want anyone who reads this to know ..i never thought i would find myself in this position. its my last hope for survival.
i am writing to see what i would have to do to appeal for help. this is my last hope before i lose my computer connection.
my husband died suddenly last year. and although there was an insurance settlement, he basically left everything to his children and ex wife. i got a portion of the settlement, enough to move out of the house i called home. i'm bitter, i admit. after our car accident, i gave up my life to look after him, and i cant believe he left me in this position. i put off surgeries of my own, because i had to do everything for us, including looking after him and chauffering him to hospitals hours away, drs. now here i am a world away from home, i had my surgeries before my medical coverage ran out, but i find myself unable to work now. i've paid my final months rent to the end of september. i guess im desperate. i have applied for his social security under "disabled" but they tell me it could take up to a year to be approved...or turned down. i have no family, and know no one here. im so lost, i dont know which way to turn. my faith is shattered, along with my life. im crying as i write this, partly out of humiliation, and because i am still grieving for my husband. im angry, and i guess i should direct it at myself for being so stupid. whoever reads this,,,or if anyone does, email me. just let me know you SAW it. that would almost make me feel better..just to know that someone knows what im going through. i just turned 51 years old and i feel like my life is over. im devastated, and beaten. whoever reads, thankyou for the space to vent. :(
sincerely, Julie

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