What Now? -- Roy Masters / FHU Discussion Board (no affiliation)

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Subject: What Now?

Author:
John Ohnimus

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Date Posted: 15:34:33 01/24/04 Sat

Thanks for the replies. I've been worked on by Catholic priests, non-denominational ministers, shamans, etc. I went to Roy's Philly lecture and was up on stage shaking and sobbing, but it wasn't a full "exorcism."

I know that I HAVE to get out.

Two years ago I tried to move out. My father was still alive then. It was a low-priced apartment (for this expensive area) and I really couldn't afford it. I left the deposit and everything. Then I went berserk. I was vibrating and didn't sleep for 3 days. Was alternately sobbing and exploding with rage. I was throwing chairs and stuff around my room. I had visions of myself taking a baseball bat and smashing everything in my path, also of putting my head down and ramming myself into the walls. It felt like my heart was going to burst out of my ribcage. So I cancelled the apartment and ended up losing my $800 deposit. It was either that or be carted off to a hospital.

If I leave, it has to be to another state. I can't stay here, near my mother. I can't afford to live here.

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