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Date Posted: 22:56:54 12/09/03 Tue
Author: LaneyLounge
Subject: The Top 15 Signs You're Staying at a NASCAR Hotel

The Best Western hotel chain recently signed
a $10-million, three-year sponsorship deal
to become the "official hotel" of NASCAR.


The Top 15 Signs You're Staying at a NASCAR Hotel


15> Nightly turn-down service includes a little tin of Skoal left on your pillow.

14> For every night you stay, your sister stays with you free.

13> The sports bar has a Jeff Gordon dart board.

12> Potpourri in the bathroom smells of scorched tires.

11> The Bible in your night stand has illustrations of all the begetting.

10> The hallways are full of rednecks on lawn chairs with coolers.

9> For religious guests, a statuette of a haloed Dale Earnhardt is provided in every room.

8> A team of eight maids gets your room cleaned in 13 seconds flat -- while you're still in bed.

7> Some guy who's missing a few teeth keeps screaming at you to scrub harder while you're in the shower.

6> The "VRROOOMM service" menu? Nothin' but biscuits 'n' gravy.

5> Pick-up lines in the cocktail lounge usually include the term "pole sitter."

4> The "Magic Fingers" bed vibrates about 10 times too fast, drowns out anything less than a shout and occasionally
rolls over and bursts into flames.

3> The mini-bar is stocked with pork rinds, Velveeta (YUM), Slim Jims and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

2> "Here's your room key, sir. To get to your suite, go to the end of the hall and turn left, then left again, then take a left, then...."


and the Number 1 Sign You're Staying at a NASCAR Hotel...


1> When newlyweds consummate their marriage in the honeymoon suite, a checkered flag drops from the ceiling and they're expected to do a victory lap in the lobby.

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