| Subject: Chapter 291 - Part 2 (end of chapter 291) |
Author:
KatherineG.
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Date Posted: Monday, June 25, 07:13:54am
In reply to:
KatherineG.
's message, "Dreams in the Dark - continues with chapter 289 >" on Monday, June 18, 06:55:17am
He gave up her hand temporarily, both arms surrounding her, keeping her very close, as he pledged what he could, his voice soft in her ear. "I'll do whatever's necessary to return to you alive and well, Nikita." He kissed her ear, praying for the best. "Even if I die, some part of me will be with you again." Even if he had to fight his way out of Hell to do it.
She understood that he wasn't speaking metaphorically this time, wasn't referring to little Adrian alone. And she also saw that his first promise was not a pretty one, would probably involve him in some very brutal acts; war seemed to specialize in those. But none of this was where she focused, a deep ache wounding her. "It's not enough." Having only the thought of his spirit left around her, as she raised their child alone, made her cry almost violently; her hand fisted before slamming down on the bed. "It's just not enough!"
She knew she was being unreasonable, but so was the situation; he didn't blame her for it, only pulled back to roll her over toward him, instead. Once they faced each other, lying on their sides, his hand caressed the tears from her cheek. "Nothing but being with you forever is enough for me, 'Kita." He took hold of her again--as best he could, given her new shape--and kissed away the tears. "Nothing but holding you happily in my arms can ever give me life."
Oh. She understood, continued the weeping, even if it was a little more tender now--wishing all the while that there were some way to avoid all these conversations, some way to simply enjoy their brief time together without all these fears. But it wasn't possible. They needed a lifetime--perhaps an eternity--together to feel truly sane. A little over a day wasn't enough time to settle them at all.
Once more, she didn't answer, simply held him close, her fingers in his hair--trying to get herself under control. But the fact that she loved him so dearly made everything that much harder--her sense of self, like his, altering completely almost two years ago, making it impossible for her to accept any future alone. After the beauty of his love, the only happiness she could ever know would be with him beside her. If she were forced to go on without him--even if it were with his happy, healthy child to raise--she would never be anything but deeply miserable again.
They held each other tightly, both more than a little terrified of the future--knowing so much of what might come. The Great War alone had shown it; she knew the stories, even if she had missed the experience. So many women were left without their partners, left to raise the children of men whose absence left a deep sense of isolation and pain. Some men even returned home to discover that wife, child, or both had perished--either in childbirth or illness--soon found that they had survived the battles only to be left with nothing. It was inevitable, the story of every war. And that was assuming that the "good guys" won at all.
They both shivered a little, torn by the multiple possibilities, by all the many dangers they faced. Even if he did survive, if he were capable of returning to her to find her and their child also safe, it would mean nothing if their enemies won this war. Given the hints which had leaked out thus far, very few of the people they held dear would be allowed to survive long after. And there was no point or hope in raising a child in such a world as that.
It was all of these fears which ruled them, all these many, dire uncertainties they couldn't begin to dismiss. But there was nothing to be done. They lived in a world of peril, where those both far and near wished them so much harm. In a world such as that, there were no guarantees. All they could do was hold one another and hope.
It was this they did, trying to find some comfort--some sense of certainty in the unknowable future; only one emerged, one constant among the deadly potentials of a raging sea of calamity. Her lips found his ear, promising him just one thing. "I love you, Michael." Every other truth of her life would always build off of that.
God. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the warmth of her--cherishing her love. In just this one evening, he had come close to allowing himself to fall into the danger they had both so deeply feared--his need to take absolute control over their relationship an ever-present temptation. But the ferocity of their lovemaking had only led him back to this truth: "I love you," he whispered, holding her all the tighter. Nothing which could come of any possible future would ever have any meaning without that.
There was little to be said beyond this, were few promises they could make. Their future happiness, their lives or deaths, their health and welfare, the safety of their child and friends--all of this was uncertain. The one constant either of them could promise was that--even in death or pain or incapacity, even in separation, even in a future which saw the world devolve into the most tangible expression of Hell--they would love one another completely. But, in some ways, it was all that mattered to either of them at all.
They left the matter at this, then, allowed themselves to lightly sleep--even knowing that their day would start so dreadfully soon, their friends and allies having claims on them they could no longer ignore. Perhaps this one certainty wasn't enough, would barely steady them in the many terrors to come, but they refused to question--for now. At this moment, not just the two but the three of them lay there quietly, enjoying their peace. In the months to come, these future parents would again do everything possible to survive for their beloved. It was time to enjoy a moment of calm bliss before the future came.
[End of Part 291]
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