| Subject: Chapter 294 - Part 2 (end of chapter 294) |
Author:
KatherineG.
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Date Posted: Monday, July 09, 07:05:54am
In reply to:
KatherineG.
's message, "Dreams in the Dark - continues with chapter 289 >" on Monday, June 18, 06:55:17am
She wasn't the only one in the room who saw this fact, Sasha's attention drawn away from the primary pair--and the conversation which surrounded her--momentarily, gazing over the only woman who could ever tame her brother. The difference in the pair's ages, their approaches to life, meant little to her. Whatever the world might think, they were perfect together; her look returned to the couple in question. And so were this pairing she was here to help.
This was a positive change, one she had long looked forward to. And to say that she approved of Angie, had been emboldened by her presence, was something of an understatement--her whole life altering since her brother had taken up with the woman. Not only was she quite happy living with the pair--the couple cohabiting in all but legal fact--but she was also learning much from simply watching them; a smile emerged. And the facts she gained had gone a long way toward bringing her out of her shell.
Such a difference wasn't evident to the public, her innocent aura still well intact, but that didn't make it any less true. Primary among her new knowledge was a determination--a vow she had made herself. She would wait until she found the right man, would be like this pair she loved--and Michael and Nikita--would not fall into the typical, Hollywood marriage. Oh, perhaps--despite her brother's obvious, protective hopes--she would give herself to a man sexually before then, but that was only assuming she found the right one, as well. Until then, she would wait--had seen the consequences, otherwise; a small shudder rose. She had no desire to be like so many women in this town.
This was a rather dire thought, but it didn't entirely spoil her good humor; her smile at Nikita deepened, admiring the woman more than she could say. In many ways, the slightly-older actress had everything Sasha herself dreamed of: a home of her own, a devoted husband, a strong sense of self, and even a baby on the way; her gaze caressed over the woman's swollen belly, feeling an ache to experience the very same thing. Oh, if only . . .
In some ways, this had always been one of her primary dreams in life, common though it might be: to be a mother; her look returned to Angie, smiling once again. It was one of the many ways in which she differed from her brother's partner--their private chats revealing much. While the wardrobe assistant had once dreamed of children, there had been a change, of late. Now that she and Peter were together, all she seemed to wish for was the next night in his arms.
Had Sasha been elsewhere, she might have laughed out loud at the joy of this notion--loving that the couple were so devoted, wishing dearly that she might one day experience something of the same; the room's conversation disappeared in the haze of her thoughts. Even better, she knew that Angie's change of heart had not been forced--had not been a simple acceptance of circumstances, either, the woman apparently now beyond her childbearing years. No. It was something very different. She was enjoying the private moments with her lover far too much to ever give them up for a child.
This approach was quite different from Sasha's own desires, but she respected it, nonetheless, knowing it was for the best, for both her brother and Angie. Peter, certainly, wasn't avid for offspring; he had already had his experience there. Her gaze went to him, a little guiltily. He had raised her for far too long to ever need to do such a thing again.
This was the one moment this entire day when she was less than her now-typical, exuberant self--and it drew her brother's chastising look in an instant; she gave him a small smile of apology. While she couldn't help seeing herself as a nuisance--especially given the time alone her brother and Angie so clearly enjoyed--she knew that neither Peter nor his lover saw her in such a way, and she was grateful. In so many ways, she had been extraordinarily lucky.
It wasn't only herself she was happy for, though--Peter, too, having more good fortune in finding his partner than she had ever quite imagined. While she didn't know the details of their earlier life in this country, she was quite aware that he had, basically, pimped himself out. When they had been in New York, he had clearly rented himself to whichever woman would look after them financially--all just to see her safe. While many men would dream of this as a profession, her brother was different--always had been. She had long suspected that his sexuality was merely a means to an end for him. So long as he protected her own from the many scavengers who sought it, he seemed to feel that his job was complete.
It wasn't that she thought him as put-upon as most women would have been in such a situation, of course; just the few seconds she had seen of the brief life of Nikita's last stand-in had taught her that. Still, as poor Sondra's fate had clearly shown, a woman's sexual role could always be a precarious one; her gaze returned to the couple they were all here for. And it was because of this that she was so very happy to be helping to look after them now.
There was so much to protect the pair from, so many predators who would willingly take the woman. But her own motivations were more complex than that. In many ways, Michael and Nikita were the example of all she wanted out of life, of the perfect devotion two people could share. They had already made it past hardships which most couples couldn't even dream of--which their public would never have believed. Perhaps they didn't have to worry about starvation, or eviction, or paying the next bill--but their dangers were intensive, nonetheless. Still, it was their very grace under these pressures--along with their absolute love--which kept her so especially devoted to their cause.
She gazed over them now, happy just to be included--happy that they thought enough of her to treat her like an adult; that was new, really. But, then again, so was the fact that she had grown up.
This truth had started ever since her brother had fallen in love--had been a nearly conscious effort at first. Always, she had loved Peter, but she had long been far too dependent upon him; in some ways, Angie had given her her excuse to break away. Finally, there was someone else for him to focus on, some true pleasure for him to find; her gaze returned to Nikita from where it had drifted back to the other pair. More than anything, she didn't want to see their partnership endangered now.
This truth applied to both of these pairings--but Michael and Nikita's situation was especially sweet, dangerous though it was. She almost envied the woman. It wasn't that she had any desire for the actor himself. He was too stoic and cold for her, probably would have frightened her, had she had to spend any amount of time alone with him; having had to kiss him once on screen had practically brought on a nervous breakdown, not a second of pleasure ruling her. Besides, in his whole, serious demeanor, he was far too much like her brother. Certainly, she loved Peter--but to have a lover who was like him? She only just kept her features from twisting. No. That was more than a little disgusting.
She restored her calm a moment later, continued to smile at the pair before her--pondering just one of their many features she admired. To have a man who was so completely devoted to you that he would alter his life entirely--while never losing all the parts of himself which made him so very precious to you to begin with . . . well, that was a fantasy, indeed. The smile widened. And it was one she very much hoped to experience someday herself.
The conversation continued, then, a few of its participants only half-focused on anything which occurred, far too happy just being there. To everyone present, this pair was precious. And it was this truth which would keep all of them focused on their determination to keep the two of them and their child quite safe.
[End of Part 294]
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