|Subject: Chapter 4
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Date Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 10:54:03pm
In reply to:
's message, "New Story - Just Knowing" on Sunday, July 09, 09:48:46am
Then Adam asked the question, said the name that he had never uttered to his Father before, “This is about Nikita, isn’t it?”
Adam continued the last of his packing as his thoughts went back to that night with his Dad…
Michael had been stunned into momentary silence as the pain shot right to his heart at the mention of her name from his son’s lips. That was the second time tonight that someone had said her name out loud. Michael had not even dared to speak her name in years.
His guilt consumed him for leaving her there – alone and unprotected. He knew in his head that he made the logical decision on that day so long ago, but his heart and his soul had blamed him for every moment he was apart from her.
In silence he had endured these years, a part of him trying to stay focused on raising Adam to be the man that he was today, trying to be a good provider and role model for him. But there was another part of Michael that waited in the dark at night, he part that lived in his nightmares. The part of him that had killed both targets and innocents without regard for either. The part that lied, manipulated, stolen, ripped peoples lives apart for the good of Section. He had been a good soldier for his malevolent Leaders. It physically sickened him on many, many nights when he would awake from the night terrors, sweat-covered and nauseous.
Then there were the other nights, nights when he would dream. Nights he was still with her. They were still ‘out’. On their boat, that precious short time when he actually finally relaxed with her and let himself love her as she so deserved to be loved. It was that time when he remembered how to dream again, how it felt to have some small glimmer of hope and peace. It was time that had not lasted long enough. He both loved and hated this particular dream. He swore in the dream that he could smell her, taste her, touch her. He felt exactly as he had on those days that they spent in each others arms.
Then he would awake, jerked back into the reality that his existence had become. He could swear on those nights that he could still smell her fresh scent in the room.
But inside he knew that he died a little more every single day away from her. He had known it would be painful, and that someday eventually he would return to her. But he had never thought that he would ever feel like this. Breathing was painful when he was actually thinking about her. Thoughts would fill his head of the agonizing decisions that she had to be making, had she survived it all? Was her soul still intact? Could she manage to hold onto that compassion that was the central core of who she was? Or had she crumbled under the pressure of it all?
He didn’t know and that was killing him. He had no contact with anyone at Section for all these years. He still spotted their watchers occasionally and he knew that they were tracking him. He hoped that they were from Section One. If they were, then she was probably still alive, still in charge, and the possibility remained that she might still care.
Adam’s voice brought Michael back to the moment, “How do you know that name?”
Adam sighed, “I told you, there’s a lot I remember. Besides you still have nightmares occasionally and you call out her name.”
Oh God. How was he to get through this?
“I’m sorry Adam.”
“Dad, there’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re a great Dad and I love you.”
“I love you too Adam.”
“But, I’m right aren’t I? It is about her?”
“How long do we have?”
Again Adam stunned him, “A few days.”
“Don’t say it so sad. It’s really ok with me.”
Michael looked into his son’s eyes and saw the man he was becoming, “There are things that will happen over the next few days, you need to know what they are.”
“You can’t stay here, you understand?”
“Of course. I want to go to Cite` Scolaire Internationale de Lyon. You know that.”
Michael smiled, “You’ve talked about it for a long time. I had hoped you would be older before you went out on your own.”
“I’m ready now.”
“I know, I can tell.”
Michael moved over to his desk and opened one of the drawers. Out of it he took what looked to be a small pendant of some kind. “This is for you. It is very important that you never go anywhere without it. And I mean all day, every day you must have this with you.”
Adam took it when his father handed it to him. He stared at the small black flat disk on the chain, “What is it?”
“You’ll have to trust me on this. I will always be able to find you, no matter where you are as long as you have this pendant. You never go anywhere without it. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I think so. But is there anyway that I can get in touch with you if I had to?”
Michael knew this moment was coming and it was tearing him apart to tell his son, “No.”
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