Author:
46 guys named nick
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Date Posted: 13:02:14 09/04/04 Sat
i know your guy's pain. i've tryed killing myself... many times. It's funny... people blame it on the fact that i like to listen to Nirvana... and HE didn't even kill himself. Those people who blame Kurt... they were bible thumpers from the mental health lock up. Jesus killed himself... well, he let himself be killed. Same thing. What's the difference between a savoir and a matoir anyway? i slit my wrists... while in lock up. The brachial artery's only 1/4 of an inch under your skin... i thought i could hit that with a pair of stollen siccors. Nope. i complained of cronic headaches... so they gave my tylenol, which i saved up. 5gm's is considered an od, i took over 12. Problem is i couldn't hold it down, so i threw up all night with my kidneys on fire. Hell, i even tryed to start a cue in the ward and get myself killed in the riot. Nothing ever turns out as planned... for future reference the mentally handicapped aren't the people to back your cue.
So i sat down, cryed for about a day, and wrote down this;
Suicide attempts are selfish... i see that now.
i really, honestly wanted to die and i'd be lieing if i told you i don't think about it all... daily.
If you're reading this and are where i'm at, i'll give you this; you're probably alone, overwhelmed (an understatement, i know) and ready to jump.
DON'T FUCKING DO IT!
With your death you're only hurting the ones (few) who love you. The assholes who drove you to this will fake some sorrow for the tv cameras and then forget you. YOUR FAMILY HAS TO LIVE WITHOUT YOUR SPIRIT DAILY.
i say fuck them
Well, i was released when the state (california) cut it's budget for something and they couldn't afford to keep me there anymore and nobody was going to fork over the money for me to live there (i didn't have any, and no next of kin)so they cut me loose. i don't even think suicide's even possible by yourself and if you're lucky enough to find somebody to assist you in it, then i think you've got one reason to live right there.
Sorry about the long post... i'll shut up now.
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