| Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ |
Author:
Avan
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Date Posted: 15:05:52 10/11/04 Mon
In reply to:
betsy
's message, "Re: I want to die now~~" on 09:05:55 03/13/04 Sat
Hey Yall, My Name is Avan And i Want to Die, I Always Wanted Since I Was a 6 Years Old Lil Boy With the Ability of understand What was going on, the Shit Talkaz arround, and how i was never somebody to nobody there was Always somenthing or somebody 1st, anyway... Im 23 years old Now, And Lemme Tell u Sumttin. Things Are not Getting better and im afraid when it get(if that ever happends) it will be too late for me, i mean it Wont be The Same... I want to Die now days I just Wait for it, i Think i dont Deserve This maybe noone of Us Does, Im a Good person i Do Everything for my Friends, my fam, when i have/had them, With all the ppl I love, but somenthing i know fo sho is that Evrybody Will leave me Alone sooner or later, they did it b4, so Rite now thats How i Feel, Alone... U know I Love Good so much and im not Afraid to say it, church is prolly the only safe place i have to go besides the darkness of my room, it makes me feel fine in pace and Always saying thanx for the few lil things that may or may not keep me here, sux i cant share that with another person but anyway. I have Hope man And ill Always have it even tho all the shit i been trought all these years, im still here u know, not in the way i wanted yeah, but here anyway. Now look in all those year i coudnt get nothing for me a signal or whatever, a ray of light something that u fight the world to keep alive, everything always fade away just like that, i never could enjoy my life and im paying all the consecuences now... I prob wont put a gun on my head but i wont stop u if u wanna kill me, if u know what i mean. I just goin to take the chance... See im tired to lose everything in front of my eyes, friends, fam and have nothing, im tired of sit here and wait the death, im tired so tired... I Hope u all find an answer and help or whatever u needs i hope u all find god and he appear infont of you they why u think it should appear, in an angel in somebody else in a friendly hand form i think everything's cool, bout me i just hope he know that i have a reason to live f0r, the only and without that then i think is time to say good bye cus there wont be nothing left for me, if i cant live the life the way i wan why cant i die?
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