VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 17:26:59 07/01/09 Wed
Author: Further Information
Subject: Re: About TNS
In reply to: TNS scholar 's message, "About TNS" on 15:54:42 07/01/09 Wed

TNS (Totally Not Sexy) is a leading backyard wrestler and global super villian. Formerly listed on the London Stock Exchange as a piece of shit and a scrub in the FTSE 250 Index, the TNS one was acquired by VIW Group back in the day for 1.6 billion pounds.

History
The history of TNS as human being began in 1946 with the establishment of the TNS Family (known as the SS to the germans) in the United States of Girvan. Since then, various mergers and acquisitions involving large pussies and penises from the US, Europe and Asia Pacific eventually became the TNS one as he is known today. Specifically Big Daddy TNS met Big Mamma TNS and said "hey baby, how 'bout I stick my love sausage up your tuna tunnel and lets have us a baby." Big Mamma TNS agreed and spread her hairy legs to allow Big Daddy's big kong kong sized dick entry. 9 years later TNS was born.

The 1960s saw the establishment of the six main skills that today form TNS. Starting with Ghetto Girvan Boyz in the 1940s, Intersex in the US in 1960; then KGB in the USSR in 1962; Andrex Ass Tissues in France in 1963; Frank Wank Bank of Spank Associates (FSA) in Australia in 1964; TNS's nutsack in the UK in 1965. Over the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, these groups grew significantly as individual parts of TNS (with the exception of his penis) notably his ego is "fucking huge" as noted by Jeremy Kyle.

The 1990s and early years of the new millennium saw constipation in his ass. In 1992, his colon acquired his lower intestine and created an UBER ASS which engulfed him thus turning him into eventually a human asshole himself. In 1992, TNS joined with True Scotsman (from Budapest). In 1997, TNS combined with men. In 1997, TNS acquired Intersex and then merged with his own mothers vagina. In 2000, TNS acquired crabs, followed by SARs of the foreskin in 2003.

The TNS one continues to be gay, mainly by acquiring small men's dicks in his massive ass to strengthen his position in markets in which he already has a presence (such as gay bars). For example, in December 2007, TNS acquired Basement Jack's anal cherry in the Amityville bedroom/basement, a specialist kwang in retardation and willingness to be raped for a tin of pringles.

In the same month, TNS announced that he was pregnant but the surgeon general of planet Earth said "don't be fuckin stupid thats impossible". TNS then reached an agreement with the surgeon general to say it was possible and then increased his ownership of the surgeon general's pants from 3% to 100%. TNS was formerly an enemy of joint venture alongside the rest of the world. TNS then went on to get served by some Latin American kids operating dance-offs on street corners. This is one of his few recorded defeats on record. TNS is currently operating in 15 countries in Latin America in retaliation and serves 45,000 hungry kids in poverty stricken cities to get some measure of revenge for what "them dang kids" did to him. TNS covers 96% of the region’s DP incidents (with True Scotsman to help) this provides local and international clients with access to a website full of scenes he filmed of the sexual acts. The Adult TNS Video Awards in Leeds gave him 97,000 golden vaginas (the highest accolate in adult TNS film awards). TNS also likes to sniff panties, packaged groceries, toiletries and cosmetics, fresh foods and textile retail products. Jeremy Kyle is quoted as saying "...d' fuck is up wit this prick?"

In early March 2008 TNS announced the merging of his penis unit "named Lance" with the recently acquired asshole of Lord Abortion. This was to create TNS Sex DVD "One Night In Abby" which was also renamed for overseas markets as "The Reversed Abortion Clinic - I'm Sticking It Back In" but it was later revealed by the Deformer to be lies.

On 29 April 2008 TNS announced he was in talks to merge his penis into the whole of Germany. The announcement was followed in May by two conditional offers from Hitler's grandson Mike Hitler to buy TNS for a combination of cash and shares of booty, both of which were rejected by TNS in anger. TNS flew to germany in his zepplin and TNS Breaker'd Mike Hitler off the top of Auschwitz. The hostile bid from Mike Hitler and Germany led to TNS abandoning the merger plans of his dick in their Rhein. TNS sought without success to find backing for a rival offer of sex, leaving germany's hostile bid as the only one on the table. On 9 October 2008 TNS declared that its latest bid had been successful and that it was buying Germany to use as a sex toy for $1.93. TNS now sits in a big throne and gets nazi war criminals to suck him off as he watched VIW on youtube. Many TNS subsidiary companies are currently undergoing reconstructive surgery and rebranding as a result of the TNS deal, such as his penis has now been moulded into the shape of a pear and weighs 50 tonnes. His ass now looks like Lou Bega (mambo no.5) TNS himself will see various man-units either merged with his ass or be handjobbed and kicked out of Germany.


Operations:
TNS has chosen to specialise in eight mad skills:

Autoerotica
Condom Management
Bonfires
Heath Ledger
Ogre Whipping
Politics
Colonoscapies
Human Skin Tents

TNS separates its worldwide operations in over eighty countries into four main divisions: North America, Europe, Asia Pacific and emerging lumps in peoples pants.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT+0
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.