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Date Posted: 22:32:42 04/15/09 Wed
Author: Fabulous Epic Penisdance
Subject: VIW Slaughterhouse 2009 Results

The most infamous lunatics on the planet came together today (15th April 2009) at the X-Ecution Arena in South West Scotland to put on VIW Slaughterhouse 2009, celebrating 6 years of Violent Impact Wrestling and more importantly, 6 months of Joint Venture (the bomb diggity)

Opener:
Joint Venture came out to introduce the show infront of the sold out audience and let it be known how awesome Joint Venture really are. They announced that the long awaited TNS punishment match would finally be tonight, 2 years in the making. Ernie Penisdance revealed to a shocked crowd that TNS's opponent would infact be Ernie himself. They next revealed that Smudge would defend the VIW World Championship against the epic True Scotsman. Joint Venture then left the arena.

Ultimate Submission Match:
Lord Abortion vs JekylL

This match was 2 out of 3 submission falls and was a great encounter between the two men who have been feuding for quite some time in VIW. Lord Abortion arrived first and cut a promo running down VIW, Joint Venture and everyone who wrestles in VIW currently. He then said he will win against JekylL and prove himself tonight. The first fall was won by a newly slim and trim Lord Abby. JekylL got the second fall after some brutal manouvers. The final submission was achieved by JekylL who won the match. However, afterwards Lord Abortion went nuts saying "you can never beat me at my own game" and used weapons to beat down JekylL to pulp.

VIW Interregional Championship
Hangman vs Justice

Hangman hit up the scene with his recently won IR title and was attacked by Justice. The match seemed a joke to Hangman but Justice took is seriously as a title was on the line. After some use of a ladder, a chair and many Justice perfected UFC moves it was Justice who shocked the shit when he reversed a second Lynch Driver attempt into a brutal kick to the melon and knocked Hangman out and got a 3 count to become the new Interregional Champion and defeat Hangman for the 1st time.

TNS Punishment Match

Fabulous Ernie Penisdance arrived with Smudge for support and some patented ring gloves and looked ready to kick some ass. But instead he got infront of the camera and told the world that before TNS got to face Ernie, he would have to go through this man first. Johnberg. Out came the returning bearded one after 3 years in exile and the crowd exploded. Johnberg watied for TNS who came out next and then beat the holy shit out of him the entire way through the match. Delivering the legendary DDT's and more Johnberg brutality he put TNS away and owned the show. But when TNS thought it was over (it didnt, because he was unconcious) Ernie Penisdance came out and their match started, Ernie cocky pinned TNS and got the 3 count instantly. The crowd loved it.

VIW World Championship
Smudge vs True Scotsman

We witnessed a backstage video earlier on in the night showing an unknown assailant clotheslining True Scotsman in the hallway. Smudge arrived followed by not True Scotsman, but rather the one and only Sin! Sin and Smudge went at it to and fro and clearly Smudge's gameplan was affected. Ernie was clearly pissed at the upsetting of the Joint Venture plan. After a great match between the two including them fighting up on the roof and Sin being thrown almost to his death, it was Smudge who got the pinfall and walked off still VIW World Champion.

Tag Team Showdown
Cradle of Sin vs Joint Venture

The original Cradle of Sin reformed today with Sin and Lord Abortion coming together to take down Joint Venture. But after their challenge, Ernie and Smudge came out and said "Hell No". Ernie then paid off JekylL and True Scotsman with monopoly money to kick Cradle's ass in Ernie's place. So Smudge, JekylL and True Scotsman took on Cradle of Sin in a handicap match. After 5,000 wood smashes and plenty of injury and devestation it was Sin who shocked Joint Ventures world and pinned Smudge after slamming him onto thumbtacks.

Conclusion:
Fabulous Ernie Penisdance came out and thanked the crowd for coming and then ran down TNS and said he was a jobber scrub for life. After saying goodbye to the camera, TNS sneaked up behind Ernie and TNS Breakered him into the mat and ran off, finally getting his hands of Ernie after all these years. Smudge helped Ernie to the back and the show was over.

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