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Date Posted: 19:58:01 05/27/09 Wed
Author: Fabulous Ernie Penisdance
Subject: VIW Shitfest: Picking Up The Pieces - Results

Wednesday 27th May 2009
The VIW Sandunes, VIW Tropical Island

Joint Venture presents:
VIW Shitfest: Picking Up The Pieces

The show was opened by none other than VIW superstud Fabulous Ernie Penisdance who told the capacity crowd of crickets and grasshoppers that Smudge could not be here today as he is a hotshot hollywood celebrity filming this summers blockbuster film; Hogan Show 3. Ernie went on to talk about his pants for a while before declaring that this show was called Shitfest: Picking Up The Pieces on account of the drastically changed VIW sandunes. VIW management hired several workers from Mexico as cheap labour to pick up the several tonnes of dog shit from off the sand. Then the show was revealed to be basically a kwang bashing show simply to humour Ernie Penisdance so he had something to laugh at a lot...and boy did he ever.

Match 1:
VIW Interregional Championship
Justice defeated Bludgeon after a one sided ass kicking. Bludgeon made his enterance by falling into a pit. He did however get some offence in during the match, not much but some as he repeatedly powerbombed Justice into the fence, which had recently been upgraded by VIW and now features barbed wire all along it. Justice finally put Bludgeon away after a classic flying body splash off the fence for the 3 count.

Match 2:
Skinner vs Bludgeon 2
A classic was booked by Ernie Penisdance and we witnessed the untalented insanity of a member of the Legion of Spastics put away the maniacle Bludgeon 2. Highlights included the dreaded Spackliner, Skinner and Bludgeon 2 having a sandcastle building competition which went sour when Skinner legdropped Bludgeon's sandcastle and Bludgeon retaliated by elbow dropping Skinner's one. In the end it was Skinner who defeated Bludgeon and danced away victorious.

Match 3:
Lord Abortion vs Bludgeon 5
Bludgeon 5 made his debut as part of the ever increasing in size Bludgeon clan. This particular Bludgeon may have been Irish, or Scouse, he didnt seem to know himself. After Lord Abortion came out and cut a promo saying he would kill this jobber in under a minute, Bludgeon 5 got scared and started screaming he had a boat to catch back to Ireland. But Lord Abortion slammed him into the barbed wire fence and delivered the After Bitch, erm excuse me After Birth for the 3 count.

Match 4:
JekylL vs Bludgeon 2
Bludgeon 2 made his second appearance of the night by getting his ass handed to him on a shitty platter by JekylL who stretched his oppponent out and beat him into Oblivion. It was a submission that finally put the masked moron out and JekylL was victorious. Highlights of this match were basically JekylL killing Bludgeon, but if you want to get technical he hit a nice suplex and several armbars, neck chokes and guillitine holds.

Main Event:
Match 5:
Skinner vs Bludgeon 3.14
The illustrious spastic returned to the sandpit for the second time today and took on yet another Bludgeon family member, this time Bludgeon 3.14, he may have formerly been a maths teacher but we doubt it. Skinner defeated Bludgeon after the two went at it like retards, including interference from Skinner's backup man...a dog named Odin. Together Skinner and the dog managed to dig a hole and tip Bludgeon into it and bury him, the dog then mauled his face. Skinner also went loopy with a staple gun and Bludgeon 3.14's nutsack and penis.

END OF SHOW

Tune in once again next Tuesday when VIW will present a real show. A proper one this time featuring a tournament for the VIW number 1 contendership; don't miss it or we'll send the Bludgeons around to getcha!

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