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Subject: tonight

Author:
Kristen

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Date Posted: 22:56:07 07/05/04 Mon
In reply to: becca 's message, "yes,yes,yes" on 15:21:12 07/05/04 Mon

I just got home from the group. I just love my life so much i really do.
And tonight i am feeling all these feelings. It is a lot. Inside i feel sad and then a moment later i am angry and then a moment later i am happy and grateful and it is just constantly CHANGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And when i sit here i really get that the meaning to the feelings is whatever I ATTACH To it. However i define it. There is no meaning. Only my mind creating stories. So what happens when there are no stories attached to my feelings. Then i am just here NOW. And then i see clearer, like the air changes in the room and then i just feel the orgasm and then my legs feel fuller and the seat feels warmer. and i remember i am not alone, not ever and i remember that everyone actually just loves me just as i am and that they are all me too. But when i am attaching meaning ever to any feeling/emotion/or sensation then i am in my head immediately in fiction fantasy, nightmare or dream. Alone. Period. There is either in my head and alone or in my body and having friends.
I love feelings tonight and I hate them. I feel everything and i know i am not alone. It is not easy but it IS simple

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