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Date Posted: 00:12:18 05/31/10 Mon
Author: Max
Subject: Re: A little help with the copy...
In reply to: Darkling 's message, "Wanted: one good man" on 10:15:07 05/27/10 Thu

Okay Darkling... First off, you need to dispel any notion that this is a "job". Re-write this to make it sound as if you are a hedonistic dream vacation that is not cheap, but can be enjoyed for a lifetime if one is committed to being pro-active in attitude, courageous in heart and sensual in body and spirit.

Ahem... if you insist on keeping the original copy as it is, I would suggest:

-Change M.D. to Ph.D.

-Dump the word "complications" and change it to "challenges".

-Add the word "sharing" before any word like "responsibility".

-Dump the word "aggressive" and replace it with "generous".

-Dump the term "upper-management". Makes it sound as if someonefs pee-pee will be whacked if they make a mistake.
A man needs to feel as if he is the one being looked up to for support.

-Add the word "exclusive" before the word "membership". Otherwise, they may begin to wonder who the other "members" are.

Spelling changes: intamate - intimate
personel - personnel
there - their
intellegence - intelligence

Always check your spelling... if you want to catch a smart fish, you need to use a smart lure.

He he... Affection Resources! wink*

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