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Date Posted: 10:21:21 09/13/05 Tue
Author: Bloodroze
Subject: Glad I found you

I knew it was you. Just a feeling, ya know? What happened to your son, & what are the extent of his injuries? He has made it this far & I am sure he has the inner strength to find his way, if he is anything like his mother.
I am playing to a much smaller audience these days. Two years ago, while I was on my way to a gig, I started feeling sick to my stomach, & had to pull over. I started to lose a lot of blood. When I used to go to Kiss concerts I would watch the dude vomit blood on stage & it seemed so cool, but alone in a ditch is a completely different matter. I was really scared, I have never seen that much blood come out of my body before. So I did what any decent junkie would do, I came home & shot up the rest of my H. End result: Overdose, & bleeding out from all the pills I was taking, followed by a short hospital stay. After the next gig we played, I packed up my guitar, & walked away from the band. I knew I wouldn't survive in that scene. I had forgotten why I was playing in the first place. It became all about the numbers. How many people we were pulling through the doors, how many cd's were we selling, which radio station was giving us air time, how much did we make on merchandise. I forgot to be grateful for the ability to make music, & touch the lives of others w/ that music. The rest of the journey is something I really don't want to go into right now, but the bottom line is that I have been dragon free for six months. I have a(brace yourself)job. I work in a childrens home w/ kids who have been removed from their homes for abuse, neglect issues. I also work w/ gang bangers who are in the system. I play my music for the kids in the home, & my wife, & kids in my own home, & I don't remember the music ever making me happier. It was quite humbling to go from the crowds, & to be honest, the female attention, we had w/ Crimzon Roze, to this, but hey, dead rockers don't get laid anyway.

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