Re: Love It , lemme give you the Paul Harvey on this one -- Vampires Seeking Vampires

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Date Posted: 19:12:43 03/26/11 Sat
Author: darkling
Subject: Re: Love It , lemme give you the Paul Harvey on this one
In reply to: YolandaV 's message, "Love It" on 15:41:54 03/26/11 Sat

Lmao but ofcourse. and thankies. It all has to do with a very very complicated situation. It isn't really the guy's fault here, but my own willfull little heart. There is one specific fella that the years just can't seem to dull feelings I have for him. Well, it was a long hard fight, but I have managed to make myself content to be the best friend I could possibly be even tho everything in me screams for him. Got it worse than I had it for Mercury if you can believe that. Lately his life has gone to absolute hell in a handbasket. I give the particulars due to promises made to several people. He has found himself in a nasty bit of mess. I've always had a funny connection with this guy. I know when he is upset or troubled, sometimes it will even give me nightmares. Other times it feels different, like when I go to sleep I might get that warm feeling I get from snuggling. So far with this situation my instincts have been pretty dead on. I get bits and pieces. I honestly think he was targeted for what seems to be extortion. Add in several other things and he has started sinking into a very dark place. I'm not so much being dragged as diving in head first trying to save his ass, whip cracking and guns blazing. The kicker is that I know for a fact that if I told him how I felt he would most likely run screaming. He already did once. I also get the distinct feeling that the last thing he would ever want to do would be to make me suffer. Confusing isn't it? >.< I don't think I will ever figure it out, but I digress. The inspiration for that little piece is the man I just can't stand back and watch fall. I have to do something. I've been wracking my brain to figure out what exactly I intend to do about it. If I could just help him to get himself where I knew he'd be alright. If I could just get him to smile again. It is a tricky situation, and quite frankly it scares the hell out of me on many levels. There is a part of me that is very cold and calculating, that part of me sees this man as a great big vulnerable spot. Not an inherently bad thing as it would normally be easily dealt with. Just needs abit more gaurding and reinforcement. I know I will figure something out. I have the beginings of a plan even as I write this. I can't do it for him, but I can try my best to try to get him to do it for himself. If nothing else, I will show this man the meaning of the words true love even if I have to do it from a plutonic distance. I will be laying eyes on him soon though. I am taking physical distance out of the equation. Otherwise I am doing very well. No worries, I am not throwing my life away in the pursuit of the happiness of others. I am finding my life in it. ;) going to be opening an nonprofit domestic violence shelter in the future and in school to get me to that point now. I'm making good grades in college. I've lost touch with mike, who kept asking for help but wouldn't go to the rehabs I researched or try to get himself clean. I've gotten my mom away from my dad and into her own place. One of the reasons I'm delaying my move is that I need to make sure she is settled in solidly here and won't run back the first chance she gets. Been sickly with my tummy and a rather nasty wisdom tooth abcess, but making sure it is being delt with. Work is somewhat better. They picked the wrong topic to talk about behind my back, my job preformance. Bwahahahaha! I've been working forty hours plus overtime since I was twelve and I can still out work all the youngins. I've shut them up well and good for the most part. Having to watch my diet, yep nutrition class this term. I hate food journals. lol Apparently ninety percent of lil darkling's diet was red meat. And I was undereating to boot. Happy as a clam that the obvious solution is seafood and more food in general. Been all around just trying to have more fun here aswell. I have had a hard time in the past with just focusing on me and what would make me happy, I've been working on it hard and as a result am reaping the benifits for the most part. How has my favorite wicked lady been?

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