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Date Posted: 23:23:51 01/02/07 Tue
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 24-176-72-102.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 24.176.72.102
Subject: ***on relationships*** (long winded)
In reply to: Dave 's message, "" Ditto The Board "" on 09:41:29 01/02/07 Tue

I don't know. Sometimes I think those of us without relationships are the lucky ones. So many married people around me are miserable. My sister got married in May. I told you all about it and that she was making a mistake. Well, 2 weeks after the marriage she was complaining and wanting out. She's trying to make the most of it but for the most part, she is miserable and wishes she had an easy way out. She wants to turn the clock back.

My younger brother has been married approx. 11 years. They've never gotten along well. They have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. Well, they're on the verge of divorce. My sister-in-law is going through a midlife crisis. I swear her immaturity amazes me. On the other hand, my younger brother can be an asshole but she knew that before she married him and she's lived with him all this time. I get along with him fine but I don't live with him. I also don't have to live with her and as much as I like her, she'd get on my last nerve if I did spend too much time with her. Right now the plan is that she's leaving Michael and moving an hour away where her parents are and she's taking Nicole with her when school ends for the summer. It's a mess.

My older brother is an alcoholic. I don't know how his wife has lived with him for 16 years. He's ok when he isn't drunk but when he is, he's irritating as can be. On the other hand, his wife isn't perfect but I still don't see how she has put up with him getting drunk all the time for 18 years.

My best friend has been married for only 4 years to her current husband. She lived with him for a year before they said I do. She thought everything was fine but then his addictions came out and it's gone downhill fast from there. She's having a time with all his craziness. If he could get control of the addictions he'd be a great guy but he doesn't seem to be able to do that and it's making her live a nightmare. Kind of reminds me of my own experience a few years ago. She isn't to the point of leaving but it's getting closer to that. She's miserable.

I know several other people who miserable in their current relationships. I do know some couple who have been together for a long, long time who seem happy but most of the ones who are on second or third marriages aren't happy at all and just want a way out.

So maybe being single isn't so bad?

Most of the time I think that if I could find the right person I'd love to be with someone. But then I find myself wondering if love ever lasts. Doesn't it seem that most people don't stay "in love"? So many people aren't willing to really try to work it out. If things don't live up to their expectations they fall out of love and want to move on to someone else. If someone said they were in love with me, I'd have a hard time believing that it was real. I'd be afraid they'd decide they didn't love me after all in a few months and be ready to bail on me.

So many people in this world are unhappy. I'm lonely but most of the time I'm not really unhappy. I'm not ecstatic or anything but I'm not miserable either. Sometimes I'm bored. Sometimes I feel unnecessary. Sometimes I wish I had some sense of purpose. Lots of times I feel lonely. But there is nothing worse than being in a relationship that is making you miserable. That's a horrible way to live.

If love like we read about in romance novels or like we see on romantic movies really exists, then I'd love to feel that way and have someone feel that way about me. I'm just not sure it's real. Or maybe I'm just a cynic. Could be... or a realist?

Sorry to be longwinded... just some stuff I've been thinking about.

Love,
Sandy

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  • Re: " Ditto The Board " -- gem, 05:13:34 01/04/07 Thu
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