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Date Posted: 21:42:04 02/22/07 Thu
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: adsl-75-46-114-58.dsl.sfldmi.sbcglobal.net / 75.46.114.58
Subject: Stuff...

I have life fatigue big time today. I have tried taking a ‘Richard’ holiday today. I just spent time with and on me. I went to the bakery and got some cookies, I went to the post office to mail a thank you gift to the woman-friend who brokered the buying of my home, I have bought computer peripheral and supplies, and just try not to think. Not thinking is most hard for me to do. My son called. He had his first therapy session today. I could hear it in his voice that it was a tough session for him. My son has tons and tons of pain to shift through. There is the pain that was put upon him when a child and the pain put upon himself as he got older. I so wanted to encourage him to share with me, which does not take much to get him to do. However, I chose not to do so. It was more as if I did not have a choice; as if I just could not; as if there were no energy left—complete life fatigue. I feel so bad about that. As much as my son misuses me, he mentally and emotionally depends on me. I am hoping that through therapy he will find the support he needs from within himself… hope, pray… tons.

My orthopedic surgeon said I could ride my bike around the block to start and see how the pain is from there. Tonight, I took down the trunk bike rack to my car and set it up. It is not very cold… maybe 30 degrees Fahrenheit / -1.11degrees Celsius. Although, it is very windy… a biting wind. I used to set up the bike rack around 5:30 a.m. on 18 degree Fahrenheit / -7.78 degrees Celsius days without much thought at all. I felt real cold this time. I cannot wait to get back into full swing of my exercising… where nothing seemed to stop me. I am taking my bike into the shop to have the handle bars straightened back and get the whole bike check over for any unseen damage. My son wants to take my bike away period… the worry wart. I sense the fear in me that needs overcoming. The fear will keep me cautious too. It did feel good setting up the rack… it was like prepping for a job… something useful… ya know.

I heard some disheartening news about getting a new med port… Miriam… had exterior ‘central lines’. Those are where an IV line is hookup to the port outside of the body. Those are much more prone to infection than the med ports, where the connection point is under the skin and much less prone to infection. We will see…
Do you know that there is a headache that you do not feel but rather see? To the side vision of my vision, there is as if a water cascading theme is streaming down my side vision. The eye doc said that is a form of a headache… stress.

Time for a hot bath and sleep time for an hour or two... I hope...

RICHARD

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