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Date Posted: 21:17:07 08/14/06 Mon
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: d14-69-111-23.try.wideopenwest.com / 69.14.23.111
Subject: In response to Liz's post but with all in mind...

Ah Liz, Mikki, Hope, Dave, Gem, and all…
Liz, you wrote:
<center>My life is and has been good by all external measures.</center>

That sounds like an intellectual statement that is derived from what you think society thinks is a good life. I gather from your other posts and this post that life has not been good for you. I am not sure what a good life is. Even very wealthy people commit suicide. You know some of my story. Although, what I write here in our family forum is not nearly my whole story you still can gather I have had very tough life too. As weird as tough too. Today, a rude dude, seemingly mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt, rattle my low self-esteem and my bloated ego side of me. The rest of day… it was like… am I doing something, wrong, am I cocky… like am I the lowest… yet, like I can control the world to feel or be like anything. This is just an example of my entire life with continuous trauma, little to big. <br>
I am not sure of this as I am not sure of most anything anymore. But somewhere in all this chaos of mine… I am having <span style="font-weight: 600 "><i>good</i></span>life in my life. I am having a good life in midst of the crap. I am not even sure if it is real and that I am not just making it up to keep alive. It sure seems to be there. Maybe, most of my life has been so bad that a less bad, any less bad seems like a good life. I do not know. Maybe it is true that pleasure is just absence of pain. I would like to think it can be more than that… but, I will take this good life however I am having it… it sure feels good. However, I got this ‘good life’… I might have worked hard for it, but I most surely did it with help of some other great persons.<br>
Whatever it is worth what I wrote here,
<img src="http://www.richarddw.net/art/gaze-richard2.gif">

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