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Date Posted: 19:33:38 07/19/06 Wed
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 66-227-249-218.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 66.227.249.218
Subject: Re: Two psych appointments in one day is exhausting
In reply to: Richard 's message, "Re: Two psych appointments in one day is exhausting" on 18:58:34 07/19/06 Wed

Thank you Richard....those thoughts were so strong the other day. I don't want to die...I just don't want to live this way. I'm tired (life fatigue), and sometimes I just wish I would either get better or die. I talked to my pdoc about my fantasy and he just asked me if I was safe, or did I need to go back in. I told him I was safe...I'm going to try to deal with it with my new therapist.

I am dying inside about what happened with my former therapist. People can tell me I did the right thing, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel lost, I can't trust the new therapist just yet. I want what felt comfortable, safe and secure. I have no safety net......but my fantasies about dying aren't going to mean squat to him. If I died, it would still be business as usual for him. I'm nothing but a blip on the screen. One blip that will just disappear.

But thank you for your kind words....I love you for that.

Love, Mikki

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