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Date Posted: 08:21:06 07/26/06 Wed
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: 249.detroit-12rh16rt.mi.dial-access.att.net / 12.75.43.249
Subject: Re: OK, this is political..and somewhat racist...so don't get angry
In reply to: Rhonda K 's message, "OK, this is political..and somewhat racist...so don't get angry" on 04:25:02 07/26/06 Wed

Ewww…. Felt like a cup of coffee… hospital coffee… ewww. So like my own coffee. Rhonda, you said not to reply. I hope that I have not offended you by replying. Sometimes, being 'white' is not all that it is cracked up to be. I learnt not to be prejudice not by Love but by hate. I hated people, all people… family, peers, adults, all skin tones, self. And, if there indeed was a God, I hated God also, and was going to kick God's ass but good when I got out of this body. And, if there was God's sidekick, Satan, I was going to kick its ass too because I hated it too. I have such empathy, true empathy for you. I was a victim of sexual exploitation at an early age also. The first that I felt negatively discriminated against was my very own family. One dad (extremely so) and six siblings black balled me from the family from get go. I went to a Catholic school. I was labeled by all as deviant, trouble maker, lazy, dumb, slow, sissy, phsyically small, dirty & unkept, immature… never to be adult like ever, and so on. Forced to do life alone, now I choose to be mostly alone… don't know if there is much a difference though. I do not say all this to take away attention from your rightly complaint, but just let you know that I have true <font color="maroon"><b>empathy</b></font> for your situation. Long ago I came to terms that if I was indeed to continue in this body, I would have to stop hating myself. The irony of that is that hate for me was all consuming. It was (still is a bit) so addictive. I had to start stopping hating people and eventually God in order to stop hating me. I had to start stopping hating me before I could stop hating people and God… kinda the chicken and egg thing. I heard many professed to be Christian say, "Don't hate the sinner; hate the sin." For me it is to not hate at all. As soon as I come to recognize hate in me to dispel it immediately. For me hate is but a clothing of armor over my fear. I had and do have to use Love to drive out the fear. And, I still working on it today.

RICHARD

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