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Date Posted: 16:51:54 06/12/06 Mon
Author: Dave
Author Host/IP: adsl-68-249-12-203.dsl.yntwoh.ameritech.net / 68.249.12.203
Subject: Stupid But True

For whatever reason , my mind became fixed on my dead mother and brothers . With the way my health is , I really started wondering about my own death . Now my thoughts have become an obsession . No I'm not suicidal or anything like that . I think in some insane way , I became ready to just lay down and die . Now all I've accomplished is an almost non-stop anxiety feeling . It's really hard to describe . I don't want to die , but my death thoughts , or desire to be with those that have passed away seem hard to beat down . I trust that my mindset will be turned around with a big reality check in one form or another . It's crazy , because I am basically as happy as I'm ever going to be . But this death gaze is giving me fits . It's hard to show love or emotion when you feel like you've already got one foot in the grave . So much for the power of thought .
....Dave

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