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| Subject: Danny's Journey to the Cross | |
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Author: Danny Howe |
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Date Posted: 22:21:16 05/20/04 Thu In reply to: Joel Thompson 's message, "Your journey" on 09:36:28 05/20/04 Thu First off, it's nice to hear from you, Joel. It's also nice to hear that you all still remember me from way back then. As you may have known, I left Warrenton and started attending Astoria High School during my junior year when I was upset over Mr. Zanobelli not allowing my friend from Seaside, Jeremy, to continue going to classes with me that day. Of course, Jeremy was skipping school, but I was mad enough to leave (pretty childish, I know). After Astoria, I moved to Seaside, where I attempted to finish my high school career, but was cut short by drugs, alcohol, girls, and my own selfish attitudes. I ran off to Seattle after burning all my bridges in Seaside, where I discovered how rotten and terrible life can be to someone who has never experienced anything in his life. I started smoking drugs fairly regularly, and meeting too many girls wanting the wrong things from me. Of course, the hatred in my heart towards everyone grew at a rapid pace, as well as the pace of my sanity losing grasp upon my mind. I moved to Portland after a while, where I lived on the streets for about two years. During this time, I destroyed my life with drugs, girls, night clubs, and the occult. After a while, I travelled between Portland, San Francisco, Phoenix, and Salt Lake City trying to find my way into life. However, my way of life was a way towards eternal damnation and eternal destruction, but I didn't care. Eventually, my journeys took me to New Orleans in 1998 during Mardi Gras, when on Bourbon Street Friday night I saw a group of street preachers standing in the middle of the road carrying huge banners and an old rugged cross preaching to all us revellers to repent and turn to Jesus Christ or suffer damnation in an eternal lake of fire burning with brimstone. I was absolutely floored by this display. First off, I thought, What are these guys doing here of all places? However, whenever anyone would try to combat these guys, I tried to defend them, telling them that they had just as much right to be there as they did. Eventually, one of the preachers pointed me out and gave me the Gospel message of salvation from sin through the death of Christ upon the cross. I walked away, but continued in my sin for a few months. However, I did notice some minor changes in my life that didn't seem to fit my old ways. I tried to stop lying, stealing, and chasing girls. I wanted to start doing things right for a change. During the summertime of that year, I attended the national hippiefest, called the Rainbow Gathering, hoping to find a culture where I could fit in. Unfortunately, I didn't fit in, and was so lost that I travelled back to Oregon. I was at my sister's house, and one night my heart started to flutter. I was so scared, that I cried out to God for Him to let me live one more night. I woke up the next morning and searched for a Bible. I found a New Testament and started to read it for the first time in my life. I found where Jesus said in Matthew, "Follow me." Whenever I would hear some Christian tell me to follow Jesus, I would always tell them, Jesus never said to follow Him. Here, I stared at His words straightly and without excuse. I thought, Wow, I was wrong about this; what else am I wrong about? After reading the Sermon on the Mount, I discovered I was wrong about everything! I fell to my face and confessed all my sins individually to God and asked for Jesus Christ's blood to cleanse my soul from all sin. I felt the burden of sin, the burden of my evil ways, forgiven by God and lifted off from me by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. I was so relieved and felt so much joy afterwards! Later that day, I continued to read the book of Matthew for the first time, feeling jubilant over the forgiveness of my sins, when I came to Matthew 28, the chapter of Christ's resurrection. After reading this portion, I thought to myself, He didn't really die on the cross, but just fell asleep and woke up. Because of this, God's work stopped cold in my heart through unbelief. I may have had a touch from God, but because I had rejected His physical resurrection from the dead, I was not truly born again, born of God, born of the Spirit. I returned to Portland, and some very strange things happened, which caused me to completely lose my mind. I moved to Seattle, where I started all my old ways again. I incorporated Jesus into my manmade philosophy, and just continued on as if nothing had ever happened. One day, as I was sitting on the streets begging for drug money, I was wondering why nobody was giving me any money. Then it hit me, Ohhhh, it's because I have Jesus as my Lord and Savior. So, on the street, I publicly denied Christ and publicly renounced Him. From that point, my life fell to pieces. I lost my girl, my belongings, my place to live, my life, and my sanity. I ran to Los Angeles, because I thought someone there could help me. I was wrong. Eventually, I went to San Francisco, where I thought everything was alright again. My mind was made up: if I die happy, I'll go to heaven; but if I die sad, then I'll go to hell. I had a copy of the New Testament, with just the four Gospels in it, in one pocket, and a deck of divination cards in the other. I thought I had it all figured out. On Christmas Eve, 1998, San Fransisco, on Haight Street, about 12:00 am, the day just turning into Christmas Day, I was walking down the empty street when I looked into a window display and saw all sorts of pagan gods, Hindu gods, Egyptian gods, Mohammed, and all sorts of pictures and statues of every god in the book, even Mary and angels, but I did not see a single picture of Jesus Christ. I thought that was strange, and I looked very carefully and closely, but I couldn't see any Jesus pictures in there. You would think on Christmas Eve, if they were going to have a statue of Jesus in their display, this would be the time! I looked in the next window display and tried to find a little statue of Jesus, but it wasn't there. Eventually, I thought to myself, if I don't find a picture of Jesus in a window display, God is going to send an earthquake and destroy San Francisco. Then I thought, I'M IN SAN FRANCISCO! So, I frantically started looking in all the window displays looking for Jesus, even a picture of a baby Jesus would have been sufficient. Then, along the way, another thought came into my mind: if I don't find Jesus, I'll be damned in a lake of fire. And then the Lord hit me with His word: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...and the Word became flesh and dwelled among us. If the Word is God, and Jesus is the Word, then that means...Jesus is God! Then, the Lord Himself came to me by His Spirit and revealed to me His physical resurrection from the dead, that He died on the cross for the remission of our sins, once penitent, and that He was buried, and that He rose again from the dead on the third day of His death. I fell to my knees and confessed my sins to Him, and felt the Lord Jesus Christ fill my heart, mind, soul, body, and faith with the love of God that surpasses all understanding. Then, I stood up and the first thought that came to my mind was, I've got to tell somebody! I ran up to someone on the street, grabbed him and screamed, Jesus is God! He replied, Yeah, do you want my coat? I told him no, but walked away rejoicing in God's salvation. I didn't really think about it at the time, but I think the guy thought I was trying to rob him. I feel bad for him, but pray the Lord for forgiveness in my zeal to love the saints of God. Later I was baptized, and then I started to preach His Gospel all over the city, and as much as possible. I'm married, I have a good career, a little girl named Jeanne as my daughter, and I love Jesus Christ. Of course, after you read something like this, you may be thinking in your mind, "This guy needed Jesus because his life was all screwed up in the first place." You may even be thinking, "I'm happy for you that you have found your truth and I respect you for believing in something so strongly." You're probably reading this with other people, if you are still as outgoing and social as you were in high school, so I understand if you guys are a bit thrown off by this presentation. Some people might be saying, "Well, he was crazy anyway, so what's the difference?" Others might say, "Of course it was the wierdo misfit who becomes the preacher! Isn't that how it ends up in the movies anyway?" Some people may say this is a cop-out, or even worst, that I'm escaping reality and escaping responsibility for my actions. However, which would you rather have: Christ take your punishment for your sins once you own up to them, taking the shame, guilt, and punishment for you, or take the shame and guilt all the way to the throne of God, be judged guilty by God for breaking His commandments, and suffer the eternal torment of God's wrath by burning forever in a lake of fire with brimstone? I am also interested in why you do not believe in God anymore. I'm sure you've heard all the arguments about the existence of God. I'm sure you've seen all the videos concerning creation. I'm sure you have done your studies and done your homework, so I won't bog you down with facts and figures, unless you are truly interested in possibly looking at the sincere possibility (now, I'm not saying this to be mean, but to give you another perspective) that you were never born again or converted from your sin in the first place, which would give you another chance at looking towards the cross of Christ for redemption from your sin. It's nice writing all this down for you, and if you want to get together, I will be in Seaside on June 2nd, 9:00 am, at the courthouse, because I was arrested in Seaside for preaching during Spring Break. I pray the Lord for your protection, and may your soul be given the shining light of God through faith in the one and only begotten Son of God, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Blessings to you by God's grace and mercy! Love, In Christ Jesus, Danny PS If I have ever done anything against you or anyone else that you may know, let me know so I can try to make it right with them before the Lord takes me home. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Re: Danny's Journey to the Cross | Joel Thompson | 07:51:21 05/24/04 Mon |
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