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Date Posted: 13:03:02 12/06/01 Thu
Author: Nikki
Subject: Hurt

I have been hurt terribly...I am soo infatuated with a guy named Ryan. It used to be great, hugs everyday, talk to each other all the time on the internet and the phone, talked to each at school.he would say luv ya and xoxoxo whenever our "internet conversations" would end.(He led me on to think that he felt the same way about me that I felt about him, or at least thats what I think he did)Well I was afraid to ask him out because I wasnt completly sure that he liked me.So I went on friends screen name to talk to him over the internet and pretend to be someone else.(sounds immature I know but I was soooo curious)I asked him questions like if he had a girlfriend, and things like that, when he stated that he likes someone at school, REALLY liked her. I asked what she looked like and to my suprise he said she had beautiful green eyes and long brown hair...I have brown eyes and blonde hair. I was astonished because I was so sure that he liked me. It hurt me soo bad because I actually believed that he liked me. So I delved into is his personal life a little more and asked if he had a lot of admirers, he said yes but he doesnt like any of them. I asked if he thought they were "ugly" and to my dismay he said "to tell ya the truth, yeah". That hit me like a ton of bricks because I was sure he knew that I liked him. and now he thinks Im ugly. He didnt name any names because I "lived" in texas and "i wouldnt know who they are"(we actually live in Florida)I also asked if he thought there were any cute girls at school, he said yes, and asked if he would go out with any of them and he said no(because he is "in love" with the green eyed girl)I DONT GET GUYS THESE DAYS!!!! Why do they have to lead girls on to think things that arent true? Why do they play with girls emotions? I dont get it. I really like him and now I dont know how to act around him.What do I say to him? he didnt know i was me having the internet converstion with him but now I know his true thoughts.

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