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Subject: Diary Entry Author: doug [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 14:16:05 08/03/04 Tue Author Host/IP: host217-42-190-89.range217-42.btcentralplus.com/217.42.190.89 - Drove to chemist, picked up the wife's prescription. Drove home. Total journey time: 16:39 (give or take 20 seconds for new girl at chemist, faffing around with the bloody till again - hands like shit-shovels). - Drove to Margate. Sat outside Deidre's house. New windows. He's obviously been promoted. Inspector Twat, now. Me and my second wife Deidre meeting in Liverpool - 1973. Dark knickers - bad idea. - Bought novelty bow-tie. Spins round and lights up. Should get a couple more punters in. Investment. - Mowed lawns. Front and back. Threw fox shit over fence. - Wife suggested I put up proper site on the interweb to advertise disco services. Pointed out I don't need to, I've got a mobile telephone. People will ring and the bookings will roll in! - Plan to draft 'variety' letter campaign to the BBC. Will start next week. - Put address book numbers into the mobile 'phone. Not sure what to do with some of the '01' prefixed numbers. Have entered them anyway. Except Windsor Davies. - Bonfire. Back garden. Burnt a lot of the old tyres cluttering the shed. Banter with kids next door. Eventually, dicey words exchanged. Then water. - Ran the disco in the spare room. Two bulbs replaced. All ready for the bookings to roll in! Dropped some of the Thatcher jokes from the set. Keep it fresh. Leave the kids happy. Trousers have shrunk at the waist and thighs. Couple of Billy Ocean 7"s missing. - Sailed the web. Posted here. then bed. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Diary Entry Author: Barrington J. Cuthbert esq. [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:47:41 08/04/04 Wed Author Host/IP: hide-138.nhs.uk/195.10.45.138 oh Douglas how wonderful to see the disco advertised in such elementary fashion. come within a ten mile radius of the house and I'll have that stuff of you and Rod Hull up the broadband within seconds. yes we have new windows i bought them from a shop with a credit card, something you'll never have with your cash in front and 'on tic' stuff. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Diary Entry Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:12:24 08/05/04 Thu Author Host/IP: host217-45-134-34.in-addr.btopenworld.com/217.45.134.34 The wife looks lovely. May I enquire as to whether she would be available for amourous encounters (on loan) in exchange for a large bottle of Famous Grouse? Mind you, it's an old picture. Maybe she's only worth a naggin by now. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Diary Entry Author: doug [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:42:39 08/05/04 Thu Author Host/IP: host81-156-51-202.range81-156.btcentralplus.com/81.156.51.202 Dear Patrick, thank you for your kind offer, however, that woman is no longer my wife. She belongs to a flash-harry and a shit called Barry. He's the sort with no pride. He'd have you round there if he thought you were up for swapping your wife. Car keys in a bowl, that kind of lark. That said, he'd have your knees off if he thought you'd scratched his car keys. Personally, I have more dignity than that. My wife and I spend many pleasurable moments together. She'll tell you. On second thoughts, don't ask. I don't want you waving your mucky grouse around for a dip in her draws. She's a respectable woman with health issues. and agoraphobia. doug. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Diary Entry Author: doug [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:37:02 08/05/04 Thu Author Host/IP: host81-156-51-202.range81-156.btcentralplus.com/81.156.51.202 Yes, hello Barry, nice to see you found my Whisky forum. Firstly, may I assure you I only happened to be in the neighbourhood. I was in Margate for business reasons. How is Deidre? I've no doubt you got the promotion. Inspector now. Well done. You can brag about your windows to your crooked colleagues. Did you get a discount on the windows from Shaw Taylor? Oh no, he only does the Nationwide Awnings ads now. Apart from which, he's a friend of mine from when I was on Pebble Mill. I may not have appeared on camera, but he seemed to like my warm-up routine. We had a rapport. He'd bring you down a peg or two if he were back in the force. You're a crooked twat, Cuthbert. twat. twat. twat. That's you all over. Don't think I don't laugh at you with your fancy car and your Italian suits, because I do. Lots. Lots of laughs. Can't stop. There's nothing you've got that I'm jealous of. I'm perfectly happy with my wife. You did me a favour. You total and utter bastard shit. Now if you don't mind, this is a whisky forum. So if you'll be so kind, piss off. You shit. You total and utter shit. Kind regards and dignity intact, Doug. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]