| Subject: AMC/OLTL When will it end? |
Author:
Holly
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Date Posted: 08:35:19 07/04/04 Sun
Okay, so now we've got someone on AMC who really has a stake in the outcome of the baby thing, no matter who's the daddy of Ace. I hate Jacob Young as JR - have I mentioned that? Pipsqueak has no business standing anywhere near David Canary, and McHatchet has done quite the job on Adam anyway.
I could go on and on about the shite on AMC - Maggie wondering whether she's gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) when it's been established that she isn't. Bianca deserves to be more than the town learning experience for the bi-curious college crowd - but I won't. I just want to talk about one hard little peanut turdball:
David as Babe's daddy - okay, so giving David a daughter is the least they could do after the whole Leora thing. And the Leora thing makes his conflict about telling the whole truth understandable, if not quite believable, and they've given lip service to his history with Bianca, BUT
Kee-REIST I'm sick of Babe's mom. Yes, she's got nice tits for a woman her age, but I'm tired of having them on prominant display in every scene on the gol-damned show. They do nothing for me (except I wonder what kind of body lotion she uses). She's a baby-thieving slutbag. I don't like her with Tad. I don't like her with David. I do not like here here or there. I do not like her ANYWHERE! Sorry, forgot where I was.
I hate baby-thieves. And the love for her daughter excuse? I am not buying. I love my son to the depth of my soul. Would I steal a baby for him (even if I were in a soap opera)? No. Why? Because I know what it is to love my own child and how much it would hurt to lose him. I couldn't do that to another mother, even if it meant my own child would have to face the loss of his child. It's called empathy, and characters who lack it aren't found on my sympathy list.
And Crystal has stolen Miranda over and over and over. Bitch needs to die.
And Bianca needs to come down off that cross and give someone else a turn. Please, all that Babe-gushing to David? I wet-belfed in my mouth. And I like Babe (score one out of I've lost count for McCrapfest characters). And for David not to just come out with the truth right there? What was the point of that? Because you KNOW St. Bianca would just go, "Oh let Babe have the baby. She needs her more than I do."
Grrrr. Meanwhile, back in Llanview, you've got Kelly too fucking dumb to figure out that her brother is still the one doing the blackmailing in town. "Oooh boo hoo Todd set me up." Yeah, I wish. Difference between MM/JG and every other writing team in the last decade is (a) this time Todd didn't do it, and (b) Dorian was smart enough to figure that out. But that's pretty small stuff when you start counting backwards to when Kelly was going to the fertility specialists, which was months after Bianca got raped (Holly bristles again) and months before Kelly announced her "pregnancy." Why anyone in town - especially skeevy Kevin - would believe for one single moment that Kelly is Ace's Mom is right up there with Blair's WTD moment when she couldn't figure out whether she was 8 months pregnant or two.
So, here we have a plot device I hate to begin with, like, even on its best day, which this is not, and it just will not go away. How do you make pudding out of this steaming pile of shit?
First, stop the madness and give Bianca's baby back to her. Babe should do it (if she wants to stay in PV), and David has to do it (he just does). Maybe a who's the daddy surprise. With what we know about Babe, Ace could even turn out to be Kevin's. Or Paul's (just don't try any we got confused about the dna bullshit to make it look like Kelly's the Mom - the kid's mitochondrial dna would be one of the things they checked - and THAT you get from the Mom). If he's Paul's, either take Babe out of the picture for a showdown between Paul and David, or take Babe and Paul out of the picture for a crossover story between the Buchanans (who are Ace's de facto parents/not to mention aunt and uncle if the bios are gone) and David-Crystal-whoever.
Do it now.
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