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>>Dear Anon, >>like you said, you know little about marriage, and >>when I was single, I also used to think like you. >>Thing is, in marriage 2 people become blended into a >>oneness that far surpasses all other oneness in this >>world. > >I acknowledge that my knowledge here is much inferior >to yours. > >>Your <u>spouse</u>, you have "for better or for >>worse". All of your spouse's decisions and actions >>affect you, and whenever your spouse just disagrees >>with you without a reason, it puts a slight strain on >>the relationship. > >You are right to bring up this point. > >>You know, this issue boils down to the difference >>between law and grace once again: is it <i>a law</i> >>that you must be one with your spouse? No. But it is >><i>grace</i> that you can actually be! >>To disagree without reason is unreasonable in marriage >>(just think, <i>not giving reasons is reasonable</i>? >>Paradox, isn't it?) > >Sounds good. > >>If you make the table on actions and "rewards", you'll >>see that either the husband or the wife are better off >>if one party does the other's will, rather than go >>separate ways for the day. > >Point from gaming theory taken and appreciated. > >>Just like I said, if the wife is okay with the >>husband's decision, fine. But if she isn't (i.e. her >>benefit of doing the husband's will is lower than not >>doing it), then she better make it clear for her >>husband why. > >Again, I will throw this at you: what if you swap >"husband" for "wife" in the above? Is that also >acceptable? If not, you are relegating the wife to >being a second-class citizen in marriage. > >Regards, >Anonymous ex-UBFer

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