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Date Posted: 11:43:43 03/22/01 Thu
Author: Nemesis
Subject: Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

As a general rule, I don't like forwards, but my sister knows my tastes and sends me funny ones. Here's one I feel like sharing :

> KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
> ========================================
> 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a
> hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
> 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>
> 3) Insist that your e mail address is:
> Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com
>
> 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
> with that.
>
> 5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
> dancing.
>
> 6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
>
> 7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
>
> 8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
> over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
> 9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
>
> 10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
>
> 11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
>
> 12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights
> up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
>
> 13) 'Don't use any punctuation
>
> 14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
> 15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
>
> 16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
> 17) Sing along at the opera.
>
> 18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
> 19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
> Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if
> your boss is of the opposite gender.)
>
> 20) Send e-mail to the rest ! of the company to tell them what you're
> doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in
> Stall #3."
>
> 21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
> sounds all day.
>
> 22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
> because you're not in the mood.
>
> 23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
>
> 24) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
>
> 25) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
>
> 26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd
> time this week!!!"
>
> 27) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
> "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
>
> 28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its
> the voices in your head that do."
>
> 29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
> have to let one of you go."
>
> 30) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
>

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