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Date Posted: 06:26:21 12/11/08 Thu
Author: SleepingHare
Subject: Jean-Claude Van Damme, the misunderstood philosopher.

I pulled these off the internet. It turns out JCVD has hidden talents.

1) You don't need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.

2) If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.

3) If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up.

4) I like peanuts. You drink a beer and you are fed up with the taste. Then you eat peanuts. Peanuts are sweet and salty, strong and soft, like a woman. To eat peanuts is a really strong feeling. And then you want to drink some more beer again. Peanuts are perpetual motion in the outreach of man.

5) My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.

6) A biscuit has no soul, it is just a biscuit. But, before it was some milk, eggs. And, in eggs, there is potential life.

7) Statistically speaking, one out of five persons is mental. If there are 4 people around you and they all seem normal, it's not good.

8) If you are lost in the forest, stand still for two years and moss will grow on one side of your legs. It indicates the North.

9) Obviously I've taken drugs.

10) If you are sleeping and you are dreaming that you are sleeping, you have to wake up twice to get up.

11) Adam and Eve, I do not believe in it anymore you know, because I am not stupid: the apple, it can not be bad, it is full of pectin.

12) When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!

13) I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.

14) Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.

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