Yiddish Bleacher Babe -- Craig Kilborn Forever

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Date Posted: 22:09:52 09/10/05 Sat
Author: Sarah
Subject: Yiddish Bleacher Babe

For more true stories, visit: http://www.geocities.com/athens/forum/4074/WisconsinDialectStories.html

Da Yiddish Bleacher Babe from Brooklyn

(While not TECHNICALLY a 'scansin language story, it COULDA happened wit a girl from der; actually, she was from Brooklyn der, donchaknow.)

The Scene: A western college basketball arena, seating capacity 24,000 (at the time, the largest in the country). EVERY seat is FULL of fans attending an intense conference championship game.

Time: 20 seconds left in the first half. The score is tied.

The players: Two basketball teams, a couple-two-tree refs, 24,000 screaming fans, myself, and my date, a Jewish girl from Brooklyn or Queens or somewhere with the CLASSIC New York Jewish accent attending her first basketball game!

The Location: WAAAAAYYYY up in da nosebleed section, second row from the top, in da corner, in steel bleachers. If Bob Uecker could get in, he would be sitting HERE.

Accoustics: A yell from here carries across the roof AND around da walls AND down da steel bleachers AND down da cement stairs and floor, and is magnified by the cone-like corner. In other words, EVERYONE can hear what you say.

The home team passes it in to their star point guard, who begins moving back and forth, zig-zagging his way across center court. 12 seconds left. The crowd is standing, yelling their lungs out. He pauses at the top of the key. 8 seconds. He starts his drive into the lane, putting the ball on the floor with lightening-like stacatto dribbles. 6 seconds. He slams into another player. WHISTLE! The ref runs to the scorers table, starting to signal ... offensive foul? Defensive foul? The crowd noise dies. Deathly quiet, waiting for the call. SUDDENLY, an vocal explosion from right next to me careens through the entire arena, stopping the ref and the team dead in their tracks, and turning 24,000 pairs of eyes onto ME and MY DATE!

"SCAW A TOUCHDOWN BEFO DA INNING'Z OVA!!"

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