| Subject: Pun intended |
Author:
KC
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Date Posted: 08:13:31 12/18/04 Sat
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says,
"I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns
to the other and says "Dam!".
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so
they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it
sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my
electron."
The other says "Are you sure?"
The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their
recent tournament victories. After an hour, the
manager came out of the office and asked them to
disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because, he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One
of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she
tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture
of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If
you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down,
but they would not. He went back and begged the friars
to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat
up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be
back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did
so,thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist
friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of
the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses
on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him
rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered bad
breath. This made him ...
(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different
puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one
of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!
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