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Date Posted: 11.05
Author: Reese
Subject: Inside
In reply to: Skeeter 's message, "inside" on 11.05

(She had reduced herself to sniffles and the occasional hiccup, and by the time he was done talking, she was just resting against him, having worn herself out pretty damn near entirely. She nodded against his chest, chewing her lip. She was just so tired.. she'd been having the reoccuring nightmares again, the one where she was at home and the officer came to the door to tell her of Keegan's death.. and she would wake up and it would take hours to get back to sleep only to have the images reoccur in her mind. When Braden was around she didn't have those nightmares.. he relaxed her and protected her and made her feel safe enough to sleep without the stress that caused her to have the nightmares.. but now that he was gone, she had reverted back to having them again. Skeeter was right, however, that she had to learn to trust her man to do his job the way he was trained. Remy wouldn't send him into danger without trust that he could handle it.. and Remy had promoted him and given him a medal.. it wasn't like he was a glorified ranger. She actually smiled as she thought of how bashful he had been about that medal.. it was tucked into her back pocket.. every time she thought of it she felt pride in her heart. Braden was strong, intelligent and so highly trained that she could see his countenance actually flip from civilian to military when he needed it to.. maybe she just had to take the extra step and put her faith in him.) I have faith in him, Skeeter.. it's everything else I worry about.. Keegan.. he was a risk taker.. always looking for trouble.. and I know that Braden isn't like that. And I want to be strong for him, I want to be a refuge for him, not a liability.. (She trailed off and made a sound that was half growl and half groan.) Please don't tell him I was this upset.. I don't want him to think I am childish.. (It would tear her apart if he ever thought that. He had just become the one strength in her life she could rely on and she was scared shitless of losing that. And now she realized how selfish that was.. she had invaded his life.. and he had welcomed her with open arms.. and now she had a chance of returning that to him.) God, I sound rediculous.. I am so tired.. (She moaned out, feeling so awfully embarassed about her behavior.. and if it ever got to Braden.. dear Lord, she would dig a hole and just die.)

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