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Date Posted: 03:16:48 09/07/01 Fri
Author: Lakota
Subject: Waiting for You - Chapter 26Bq


Everyone on the ferry seemed to be reading the paper. The seats were placed in long bench-like rows facing each other and were filled to capacity with weekend commuters. It was surprising given the inclement weather that so many people were out. The clouds hung low hugging skyscrapers in shawls of mist as the skyline of Manhattan appeared. Carrie couldn’t sit still another moment – her stomach already feeling like a butterfly enclosure. She walked out the side door of the main deck and leaned against the railing as the boat glided by the Statue of Liberty thinking the sound of the small waves hitting the bow of the ferry would be soothing. The blaring sound of the horn warning passengers docking would be in a matter of five minutes or less had Carrie gripping the railing. She returned to the main deck cabin, overnight bag in hand and made her way down the staircase to the lower level of the ferry where it met the permanent docking at the Battery Park terminal. Working her way to the prow of the boat she saw Mike standing on the docking platform – his eyes searching the decks of the vessel to catch a glimpse of her. This was it. They had planned the weekend over the telephone since the previous Saturday. Both had made the decision not to tell Lucas or Sami preferring to have it be something between the two of them.

The boat slowed as it reached the pilings where the front of the ferryboat docked with the pier. Mike scanned the decks of the ferry until he saw a beautiful, familiar face standing in her trench coat – suitcase in hand and wearing a tentative smile on her face as she acknowledged seeing him among the throngs of people waiting for someone to arrive. Others around Mike crowded forward impatiently wanting to board for the return voyage to Staten Island. The pedestrian fares were allowed to leave the ferry first including Carrie. She headed up the walkway and noticed Mike work his way through the crowd to stand directly before her as she stepped on terra firma.

“Hi, Carrie,”.

“Hello, Mike.”

Mike kissed her on the cheek and reached for her bag.

“Let me have that. You’ve got enough to handle with your purse and umbrella.”

“Thanks, it’s really not that heavy. There isn’t that much in it.”

Finishing her unedited statement Carrie looked at Mike and blushed. He said nothing but took her arm and they walked up the incline leading to the street from the terminal.

“We’ll hail a cab over there,” Mike pointed removing his hand momentarily from her arm as he pointed in the direction they should walk.

“Sounds good.”

Mike whistled down a cab and gave him the address of the Grand Hotel. He opened the door. Carrie climbed in as Mike placed the suitcase on the floor before entering the cab and placing his garment bag over the seat in front of him. Once the door was closed the taxi took off up Broadway. They sat in silence, holding hands as the various marquees of the theaters went by.

“You folks in town for the weekend?” the jolly voice of the cabby asked startling his passengers.

‘Uhh, yes,….yes we are.”

“First time you’ve done this?”

“What? Done what?”

“Come into Manhattan for a weekend?”

“Oh…..we’ve come in for a day before but, yes, this is the first time we’re spending the weekend,” Mike responded.

“Are you on leave or going overseas soon?”

“I just have a weekend pass and we just wanted to experience the ….city.”

“Sorry, …don’t mean to be nosy but I see a lot of servicemen and their wives come here to spend time together before the husband goes overseas….sort of a last chance to be together…you know?”

“He may not go overseas at all,” Carrie defensively retorted.

“Carrie…”

“…..well, you might not.”

Mike knew it was that same fear Carrie had about his future that had created the hostile-toned response. The cabby looked in his rearview mirror first at Carrie and then Mike. In his eyes there seemed to come an understanding of what was going on between the couple as he took in the pair of faces.

“Too bad you had to get a rainy weekend to see the city.”

“Oh, that’s all right. We’ve got other plans.”

Carrie immediately looked at Mike who looked out the window after see a knowing grin on the cabby’s face.

“The Missus and me came from Trenton one weekend back in 1917 and stayed at the Waldorf before I shipped out to France. I still remember that time as clear as if it was yesterday afternoon. It was a special time. We hadn’t been married a year and never had taken a honeymoon so we did it up right for those two days…room service, champagne…the works.”

“You did?”

“Yup, I guess you could say we made the most of it. My son was born just about nine months later.”

An uncomfortable shift of bodies went unnoticed as the cabby continued.

“’Course, I didn’t get to see him except in photos until I came back in late 1918. Funny, …..”

“What?”

“That was supposed to be the war to end all wars, at least, that’s what Wilson and the rest thought. It was one of the reasons I went….I thought I could be part of making that a reality. Now, my son, Jesse, the one I told you about…..he’s with the Big Red One in Italy fightin’ some of the same people again that I did. He’s a sergeant.”

The cabby reached into the visor above him and pulled something from a pocket. He handed it over his shoulder to Mike. Mike held the photo of four uniformed young men, smiling widely as they stood beside a jeep - all appeared to be of a similar age.

“Jesse’s the second one on the left,” the cabby identified as he kept his focus on the busy street before him.

Even if he hadn’t been told Mike could see the strong resemblance to his father in the eyes alone. Mike held the photo for Carrie to see as well.

“He’s very handsome,” Carrie complimented as a way of apologizing for her angry retort moments before.

“Yeah, his mom and I think so. He’s been gone almost a year and a half and spent the past year or so chasin’ Rommel, you know the ‘Desert Fox’ around in North Africa.. His mom worries about Jesse all the time….I do, too, but I don’t let on, mostly ‘cause I remember what battlefields are like having been on some in my time. ”

Mike handed the photo back to the cabby over the front seat. The cab turned into the curved driveway of the Grand Hotel. Waiting their turn in line, the doorman opened the back door of the vehicle as Mike stepped from the cab. A bellhop came to retrieve Carrie’s and Mike’s luggage. Carrie practically leapt from the auto and stood anxiously waiting to go into the hotel while Mike paid the cabby including a generous tip.

“Thanks, Captain.”

“My pleasure. I hope your son is home soon.”

“I appreciate that and I hope so, too. Listen, f you do go over there…Europe or the South Pacific,” the driver said in a lower tone so Carrie couldn’t hear, “keep your head down.”

“I will, but I’m a doctor so I’ll be working in a field hospital.”

The driver looked Mike directly in his eyes.

“Keep your head down anyway, not everybody plays by the Geneva Convention Rules.”

Mike hesitated before looking away to see Carrie trying to lip-read the conversation. He looked at the cabby and nodded. He backed away from the open car door allowing a hotel guest to hail the cab and watched after it made its way to a new destination in the bustling Manhattan weekend traffic. He turned to see Carrie holding her hand out to him. He took hers and walked beside her into the hotel and toward the front desk. They waited in the long line until they were facing a smiling clerk.

“Hello, do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Good, because we’re completely booked. Under what name?”

“Horton…….Michael Horton.”

The clerk scanned the book before her until the searching index finger on her left hand stopped.

“Captain and Mrs. Horton, there you are. If you’ll just fill out the registration card, I’ll get your room key. I see the bellhop has your luggage…..just one bag each?”

Carrie nodded while Mike bent his head filling in the blanks on the registration card. He handed the card to the clerk who scanned the contents making sure all the necessary information had been supplied.

“You’re on the fifteenth floor, Captain Horton. Suite 1593. It’s one of our best…..seeing as how according to this notation, you won a stay here as a prize?”

“Yes, New Years’ Eve we were here attending the International Red Cross Ball and my name was called.”

“Well, congratulations! Here is your key. The bellhop will take you to your suite. Take the elevator directly to my left. We have a few extra special amenities in the room as part of your prize. We hope you like them. Dinner is available in the dining room until 11pm and room service until midnight. I understand a complimentary champagne breakfast is included tomorrow. We’ll be serving that in your room at ten. If you need anything just ring the front desk. Have a wonderful time and let us know if you need anything at all. We particularly cater to our men and women in uniform.”

Mike and Carrie returned the smile the clerk gave them and followed the bellhop to the elevator. They rode to the fifteenth floor in silence with the bellhop and four other people who left the elevator at lower floors. The elevator doors closed behind them as they walked the long corridor following in the bellhop’s wake. He placed the key in the door and opened it, putting Carrie’s weekender on a bench and the garment bag on the clothes rack beside the bench. The bellhop opened the drapes allowing what light there was from the dreary sky into the room before Mike handed him a tip. He thanked Mike and closed the door behind him leaving Mike and Carrie in the suite.

“Here, let me take your coat,” Mike said as he walked up behind Carrie.

“Oh, thanks,” she said as she worked the belt open on the trench coat allowing Mike to take it and hang it beside his garment back on the rack. He removed his own military topcoat, placed it on a hanger - did the same with his jacket and came back to find Carrie had ventured farther into the suite where the sitting room was.

The decor was gold and white with French furniture, painted in white with gold trim. A portable bar on a cart held liquor bottles and cut crystal glasses, a bucket with a chilled bottle of champagne and a note “compliments of the management” propped against the bucket. Adjacent to the glasses was a silver covered dish. Carrie lifted the lid to find it contained caviar. Mike joined her in examining the contents of the dish as he looked over her shoulder.

“Want to give it a try?” he light-heartedly asked.

“Sure, I’ve never had any before. Even the night of the ball I tried the oysters Rockefeller but I didn’t get to the caviar.”

Crackers were lined in a neat row on the plate next to the chilled dish. Carrie took the small knife and scooped some of the caviar onto two crackers and turned to place it in Mike’s open mouth. She followed him in tasting. They chewed for a few moments and then looked at each other with almost pained expressions.

“My God, I never imagined it could be that salty,” Carrie said as she wrinkled her nose.

“What do people see in the stuff, anyway. Why not just eat the fish eggs Sean uses as bait when he goes fishing? They can’t be any worse and probably cost a lost less.” Mike swallowed whole the remaining portion of egg-covered cracker and headed to the bottle of champagne. He popped the cork after holding a towel over the top and poured a glass for each of them. He handed Carrie her drink and lifted his glass to make a toast.

“To our weekend.”

Carrie lifted her glass and touched it to Mike’s. “To us………or as it says on the reservation, ‘Captain and Mrs. Horton.” Carrie looked at Mike like a teacher who had caught a student in a lie.

“Yeah, well, I was going to explain that. You see, I just thought it would be easier…..people wouldn’t ask so many questions……..I just figured…”

“I understand, Mike. I was just a little surprised. Had I known I would have worn a ring, that’s all.”

“Geez, I forgot all about that.”

“Mike, I don’t think either the doorman, clerk or the bellhop would have noticed. Besides, I don’t imagine we’re the first couple to ever come here under assumed names….well, at least mine is. The only way they’d remember us is if you didn’t tip them enough.”

“Good point…..guess it’s lucky I’m not in the OSS….I’d never make it as a spy. You have to keep your stories straight and not miss a detail.”

Carrie giggled as she took another sip of champagne. She walked to the white sofa with the gold throw pillows and sat down, her eyes glancing about the room taking in more of its details. A large basket of fruit wrapped in cellophane was a focal point for the table in the front of the sofa. It was filled with mixed nuts, apples and citrus selections. Mike joined her bringing the bottle of champagne with him.

“I didn’t want to have to get up when we wanted a refill.”

“See? Who says you’re not detailed oriented?” She smiled and leaned against Mike’s shoulder looking at the immaculate white ceiling with the border trimmed in gold to match everything else in the room.

“Quite a prize you won there, Captain. I never pictured a suite like this when they called your name.”

“Yeah, I’m frankly a little overwhelmed myself. We could have had a party and invited Sami, Lucas, Victoria and Kurt.”

“Nice idea….but, I really wanted it to just be us two.”

Mike looked down into her upturned face and grinned. He leaned forward and kissed her long and hard before needing to take a breath. “Yup, me, too. This is definitely a party for two.”

Carrie rose from the sofa, removed an apple from the welcome basket and continued to walk about the suite, looking over the room service menu as she munched on the Winesap.

“Are you hungry? We could order a late lunch.”

“Sounds good. I don’t think this apple is going to help appease my hunger. I was in such a rush getting ready to leave the apartment this morning, I didn’t have time to eat. Lucas kept the cabby there with the meter running while I looked for something in the apartment before I left.”

“Let me guess……..those?” Mike pointed to her heels.

“Oh, you think you’re so smart, but thanks for reminding me.” Carrie stepped out of her shoes and left them beside the table. “That’s much better.”

Mike put the champagne bottle back in the bucket and came to read the room service menu. They each selected something. Mike called in the order and was told it would be there in half an hour. Carrie opened her suitcase and hung up her dress to avoid further wrinkling that she had brought to wear on Sunday. Mike took his toiletries and put them in the black and white tiled bathroom with gold towels and shower curtain. A knock on the door and the waiter brought in the rolling table adorned with covered dishes. He set up the table, revealed the entrees beneath the covers and left. The twosome sat down and indulged in a tasty lunch, talking constantly throughout it and getting caught up with all the events each had gone through the previous week. They finished with coffee and pie.

“I think I’m going to live, now.”

“I didn’t realize I was that hungry until I started eating. Good idea, Carrie.”

They gazed across the table at one another with the only sound being the rain hitting the windows, driven against them by the high winds. Mike stood and slowly walked to the end of the table where Carrie sat trance like. He leaned over and brushed a stray curl back from her face before kissing her forehead where it had been. He slowly worked his way down the side of her temple until he reached her mouth lingering minutes as he repeatedly, softly kissed her. He pulled back and watched her never turn away from his gaze. She stood and met him half the distance he stood from her before he advanced toward her filling the space between them. They effortlessly slipped into an embrace and resumed kissing. After several minutes Mike gently lifted Carrie into his arms and walked slowly toward the bedroom entryway. No protest came from Carrie as she looked to see where he was taking her. As he walked she loosened his tie and removed it, hanging it on the floor lamp beside the bedroom door.

Once inside the large bedroom, Mike lowered her until she stood before him never removing her arms from around his neck. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt intently watching his face as she did so. She pushed it back from his shoulders and realized she hadn’t undone the cuffs. She quickly corrected her error and pulled the shirt down his body until he stood wearing his olive green t-shirt and ever present dog tags on his torso. He pulled the t-shirt over his head and dropped it on the plush white carpet beside his shirt. Mike kissed her softly as he pushed the door behind him gently until it closed. He reached behind her back to slowly pull down the long zipper on the back of her powder blue dress with brown piping on the edging of the collar, kissing her neck repeatedly. When Carrie felt the dress puddle about her feet she stepped to the side and left it near Mike’s discarded shirt. She wore an icy blue slip with delicate lace trim on the bust line. Mike smiled and ran his hands along her ribcage.

“What’s that smile about?”

“I was remembering the first time I ever saw that slip. It was hanging over the shower curtain rod in your bathroom the Friday morning after Thanksgiving when I went to take a shower, remember?”

“I had forgotten until you brought it up this second.”

“I just was thinking……maybe it was an omen that I saw it that morning now that I look back.”

He ran his right index finger across the top of the slip resting it momentarily between her breasts before he lifted the left strap and lowered it gently over her shoulder. Carrie had watched his finger the entire time and only resumed looking into his blue eyes when his hand dropped back to his side. Feeling it was her turn she ran her fingers over his chest before pulling his face down to hers. She kissed him more fiercely than before and wrapped her arms about his neck bringing her body into full contact with his until Mike could feel the cool texture of the satin slip against his skin. He picked her up and lay her gently back against the pillows of the bed. Her arms prevented him from leaving her alone on the bed. He put his arms on either side of her head and slowly lowered himself over her. All rational thought left Carrie. This was her dream come true after wondering if Mike would ever feel about her as she had him over the past ten years. Shallow breathing, long – almost bruise-producing kisses were the reality of the moment. Mike’s hands constantly ran through her hair and down her sides passing over every inch of her as though he were a blind man unable to fathom her beauty any other way than through his sense of touch. The wait for Mike to find her was over and this would be the beginning of her life with him in every sense of being together. She ran her fingernails down his back and drew a monosyllabic sound from him. She felt a sense of power and triumph in her ability to make him lose the normally controlled behavior he always displayed. He pulled back slightly to look into her face and saw the need Carrie had for him in her face. She was encouraging him with every gesture, every movement, every touch. He resumed kissing her…..stopped to look at her again……pulled back.

“Carrie, this can’t happen.” He looked away and began turning his body from her leaving a void she could barely tolerate.

“What? Mike……please, come to me.”

He looked at her. She could sense he was weakening as he leaned back toward her face. She wrapped her arms about his neck only to feel his hands at the last moment before he kissed her pulling her arms away.

“I don’t know what I was thinking doing this.”

“I do….the same as I was.”

“Don’t…..you have to … stop talking….because….”

“Because why?”

“I can’t think straight when I feel you or hear you or look at you.”

“There isn’t anything to think about…..this is about feeling and expressing what we feel, Mike. You said after Jenn’s wedding, we had talked enough. I agree….I don’t want to talk any more….I just want to feel what it’s like to be with you.”

“And then what?”

“And then……we’ll express it again however many times we want to or feel physically able to do. We have the whole weekend to ourselves to be here in this suite, in this room, in this bed. I’m not afraid, Mike, I know what’s about to happen and I’m ready.”

“I’ll say it again…and then what?”

Carrie stared into Mike’s eyes in complete bewilderment.

“Carrie, whether you want to face it or not, there’s nearly a one hundred per cent guarantee I’m going to go overseas before this war is over. I know you don’t want to talk about it. I saw how you were in the cab today.”

“I know…..I know….I just don’t want to think about you being someplace I can’t see or hear you when I need to. But, what does that have to do with now? At least, we’ll have this weekend.”

“A weekend….that’s what you want. What if you get something else out of this weekend?”

“What?”

“I’m talking about you maybe getting pregnant.”

Carrie pulled herself up into a sitting position and looked at Mike.

“Then, I get pregnant and I have a beautiful baby with blond hair, blue eyes….”

“Stop it, Carrie! I’m serious.”

“I am, too. I want to have your children.”

“Before we get married? I don’t think the folks back in Salem would welcome you with a little unplanned bundle in your arms.”

“I don’t care about the people in Salem. I’ll stay in New York if I have to and raise him or her until you come back.”

“And, what if I don’t come back, Carrie? What then?”

“I don’t want to hear you say that.”

“Carrie…..”

“I don’t want to hear it….”

“What then, Carrie?”

“ALL RIGHT!!!!!………….at least I’d have a part of you with me always. I could look into the baby’s eyes and see you or comb their blond hair that would remind me of you. I wouldn’t lose you forever. It’s me who would have the baby and I’m willing to accept the responsibility if it happens.”

Mike shook his head and looked in all seriousness into Carrie’s tear-brimmed eyes.

“ That’s very romantic …….but, not very practical.”

“God, you and your practical…..I keep telling you love doesn’t come from your head, Mike.”

“Listen, I want to have a baby with you……more than one, but not like this. If you have to wind up raising the child alone, you’d have to put up with the whispers and talk.”

“I can handle it.”

“Do you want to subject a child to that? It wouldn’t just be directed at you. But, that’s not the only issue. Logically, you’d get over me someday….”

“…..that would never happen….”

“I would want you to. There’d be no point in you wasting your life by not having happiness with someone else. If we have sex now, it could maybe ruin you finding fulfillment with someone else later on. There also aren’t as many guys who’d want to get involved with a woman who had a small child who comes with the deal.”

“WHY do you keep on acting as though something terrible is going to happen to you?”

“I just want to face one possibility about our future.”

“…..but, it’s not a probability….can’t we just look at the best possible future? Please, Mike…..”

“…No……no, Carrie. This shouldn’t come as a surprise that I feel this way.”

“You mean because of how you felt when you learned Jennifer and Jack were getting married?”

Mike nodded his head.

“You got over that after you thought it through. You had small reservations about Lucas and Sami getting engaged but you’re all for them being together, now.”

“Because I can’t control what they decide to do…..it’s their decision. This time, I can because I do have the choice of not letting this happen.”

Carrie looked at him with a sudden change of emotion.

“Jack and Jennifer made the decision together to get married. Sami and Lucas decided to get engaged by making the decision together. You’re making this decision for the both of us and disregarding my vote in it.”

“I don’t want to do something this weekend that could have a lifetime of repercussions for you.”

“That’s MY decision, Mike.”

“And MY decision is to not give in and ruin our lives.”

“You do admit you’re making the decision for me, then…..”

“I’m doing it for you…for your future and for mine. I have to be able to live with myself.”

Carrie glared at him before she scooted to the opposite side of the bed and stood up, pushing her slip straps back onto her shoulders. She walked to the foot of the bed and bent over picking up the discarded dress from the floor and shook it out before throwing it over her head.

“What are you doing, Carrie?”

“What does it look like? .I’m getting dressed and then I’m getting out of here. Obviously, there’s no reason for me to stay.”

“We have the whole weekend…..”

“’….to do what, Mike……take in a movie, eat at the delicatessen?”

“We can do that if you want.”

“IF I WANT??? Wouldn’t you want to choose what movie we take in or where we go to eat? God knows, you’re really the only one capable of making decisions regarding my life.”

“There’s a big difference in choosing a movie or a restaurant as opposed to making love and possibly creating a child in the process. It’s not exactly on the same level of seriousness, Carrie.”

“You don’t get it, do you? The real issue is much more basic than that. No matter what I do or say, you still see me as that sixteen-year-old girl that had a crush on you ten years ago. News bulletin, Mike, just off the teletype…… I grew up…I have been living on my own in New York, working and doing very well taking care of myself before you showed up at the USO last November.”

“I know that.”

“You know it….but you don’t believe it. I’ve been fooling myself all along thinking you loved me….Carrie…the woman. I was wrong. I guess you gave me enough warnings when you exploded over hearing about Jack and Jennifer’s engagement. I saw a side of you that day I didn’t know or like. But, I put it aside because I love you and know you’re not infallible….you make errors in judgement. You have made a major one this time, Mike.”

Carrie opened the door of the bedroom and found her shoes. Mike followed her disbelieving what he was hearing. How could his concern for wanting to do the right thing for the girl he loved be turning into what was happening before him? Carrie found her purse and went to take her trench coat off the hanger. She removed her dress from the other hanger and folded it before placing it in the weekend bag.

“IF you have talked to me…..asked me rather than made the decision about what happened in that room, I would have known you loved and trusted me enough to let me have a say in what happened.”

“Are you telling me that you would have come to the same decision about not having sex?”

“You’ll never know will you? You didn’t trust me enough to let me have a vote about my own life. I don’t need another brother making decisions and guarding over me, Mike, that’s Brady’s and Eric’s job. I guess I will never be anything but a dewy-eyed girl who looks up to you and needs to be kept from making bad mistakes because of her poor judgement.”

She closed the locks on her bag and went to the entry door. She turned around to see a stunned, speechless Mike looking at her in disbelief.

“Look…..I think that I need to stay away from you for awhile until I can get these feelings for you under control and get back to thinking of you, maybe, as a friend again. I don’t make any promises that I can, and that, Captain Horton, is MY decision.”

She opened the door and closed it before Mike could shake himself from his shock and took off after her.

“Carrie…..Carrie…..please, come back and talk to me about this. Please!!”

He arrived at the elevator as the doors closed – his last glimpse of her seeing disappointment and pain in her eyes as she looked at him. He leaned against the elevator door lightly banging his forehead.

Carrie, alone in the elevator, slumped down into the corner and cried. When the bell announced she had reached the first floor, she pulled herself together, picked up the suitcase and walked through the bustling hotel lobby asking the doorman to hail her a cab. She stared out the windows as the car made it’s way through the traffic to Battery Park and the ferry terminal. The reality hit her……it was over with Mike………over

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