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Date Posted: 19:47:34 03/05/01 Mon
Author: Andrea E.
Subject: Repost: Another Second Chance--Parts 1-7 (Continued)
In reply to: Andrea E 's message, "Repost: Another Second Chance--Parts 1-7" on 19:45:50 03/05/01 Mon



"Where were you, Carrie?" Mike interrupted quietly. Carrie's gaze flew to his in surprise. "Jen told me you left town
about a month after I did," Mike continued, his eyes searching hers. "Why did you leave Salem?"

Carrie paused for a long moment before she spoke, staring off into space. "There's something I've been wanting to tell
you for a long time, Mike. I wanted to tell you last night, but I...I didn't know how." She looked back up at him, then
quickly dropped her eyes to her hands. "I'm still not sure how, so I guess I'll just start from the beginning."

Carrie turned away from him and closed her eyes, letting out an unsteady breath. Her eyes became clouded over as
she let herself drift back into the memories. "After you left, I started working a lot of hours. About three weeks after
you left, I was at work, in my office, and all the sudden I got really light-headed and passed out. Lexie found me and
insisted on running every test in the book. I tried to tell her it was probably just stress, and that it was no big deal, but
she insisted." Carrie smiled wanly. "The tests kept coming back normal, and Lexie was getting frustrated because she
couldn't figure out what would make me just pass out like that...until the last test results came back."

Mike shook his head, confused. "I don't understand, Carrie-what test was it? What did Lexie find?""

"It was a pregnancy test, Mike. Lexie found out I was three weeks pregnant-with our baby." Mike could only stare at
Carrie in dumfounded silence as she stared out the window, seemingly off in her own world. "I was ecstatic, scared,
happy...every single emotion all at once....but then as I was leaving, I ran into Austin. It turns out he had come to talk
to me, and he'd overheard the whole thing." Carrie let her head fall back wearily, and her eyes fell shut."He was
already furious about what happened between you and me, but he lost it when when he found out about the baby. He
started ranting and raving, swearing he would make sure it was all over the newspapers and that he would destroy
your reputation--unless I left town." Carrie laughed bitterly, her jaw tightening. "He didn't want to have to see me
knowing I was carrying a child that wasn't my husband's. He said he wouldn't have me flaunting it and destroying his
precious Sami's 'new life.' " She let her head fall back, staring up blankly at the ceiling as she continued. She dropped
her eyes, a sardonic smile contorting her features.

"So, I left town, before I even got a chance to tell anyone else about the baby. I moved out to Chicago, got an
apartment...I even found a new job at another hospital. The pregnancy was delicate, but the doctors told me that so
long as I didn't push too hard, everything would be fine."

She hugged herself, the late morning sun illuminating her face, a gentle smile on her lips. "You know, during that whole
time, I was actually fairly happy. It was like there was a little piece of you with me." Her eyes shimmered at him, the
tears brimming her eyes. "I never stopped looking for you, Mike. I couldn't. But nobody knew where you were, and
then when they finally found out that you'd were on one of those medical teams going into the bombing zones in
Kosovo, everybody thought that you were..." Carrie quickly looked away, knowing she wouldn't have the strength to
continue otherwise. "Everything progressed pretty normally for a while, and I started showing pretty fast. But then one
day...I was about seven months along...I was at work, and all of the sudden these terrible cramps started...I went to
the emergency room, and the doctors told me that they wanted me to stay for observation." Carrie's lower lip began
to tremble, and she pursed them together, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself not to cry. "The next thing I can
really remember is waking up in my hospital room at about two or three in the morning. This feeling just hit me all at
once, like something was really wrong. I switched on the light..." She swallowed hard. "A nurse across the hall
must've heard me scream and came running. She sent for two other nurses to clean up... the blood while they rushed
me down to the ER." Carrie smiled softly through the tears staining her cheeks. "It was a girl, Mike. We had a
daughter." Her shoulders shook. "She was so beautiful, Mike..."

Mike's anguish filled eyes squeezed shut, his jaw going tight. He crossed the room in two strides, yanking her into his
arms, crushing her into his arms in a desperate attempt to absorb some of her pain. "Please, baby, don't...you don't
have to..."

Carrie crumpled against Mike, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. "They told me she wouldn't make it through the
night...she was too little..." Mike's arms tightened as she clutched his shoulders in anguish. "Too little! I thought girls
were supposed to be little..little is such a pretty word...so feminine..." Mike stroked her back, her hair, rocking her.
"They let me hold her...she was so fragile-looking. But as weak as she was, she opened her eyes...and she smiled at
me..." A beautiful smile of rememberance came to Carrie's lips as she closed her eyes, letting the image hold to its
fullest. "She had your eyes."

Mike's tears fell against Carrie's hair as Mike crushed her against him. "It was like she knew...she could feel how
much we loved her." Carrie whole body began to shake, but she fought to finish. "I had found this beautiful hilltop
overlooking the river when I first came to Chicago. I buried her up there on that hill. I think she would've liked it up
there, too." Carrie let out a deep breath, going limp in Mike's arms, exhausted tears wracking her body.

Mike pressed his cheek against her hair, cursing how helpless he felt to stop her pain.
He shook as he pulled her tighter to him, his voice sounding as if had been dragged over gravel. "Dear God, what
have I done? What have I done?"

Carrie lifted her head. "Mike, you didn't do this. This wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing..."

Mike's jaw tightened. "I'm cursed, Carrie. Every woman I've ever loved, I've hurt. My love is a curse."

Carrie shook her head vehemently, her heart twisting. "No." She took his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her
gaze. "Your love is a gift, Mike. It's the greatest gift God ever gave me."

Mike stared down at her in overwhelmed love. He captured her wrists, gently pulling her hands from his face, pressing
a kiss to her forehead and squeezing his eyes shut. His grasp on her hands tightened, and he pulled back, shaking his
head. "No, I can't risk putting you through that kind of pain again. I can't stay here..." He released her, nearly running
for the door.

"Mike..no..." Carrie reached a hand after him, leaning weakly against the wall as the door thudded shut behind him.
Her back slid down the wall as she crumpled to the floor, her hair curtaining her face as sobs shook her body. She
took in a sharp breath, her head lifting as she wiped determinedly at the tears. "No.. I won't let it end like this. Not
this way." She stood, grabbing her keys, barely getting the door shut behind her as she darted down the hallway.

End Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Another Second Chance-Part 6

~Here I am, broken wings, quiet thoughts, unspoken dreams...~

The morning sun broke over the horizon as Mike stared blankly ahead of him at the endless winding of the road, lost
in thought. His heart twisted as his mind replayed the pain again:

"It was a girl, Mike. We had a daughter. She was so beautiful, Mike..."

"They told me she wouldn't make it through the night...she was too little..."

Carrie's words echoed endlessly through his head, the memory of the torment, the torment he'd inflicted, reflecting in
her eyes. The image of her delicate frame silhouetted in the window flashed before him, her chin lifted bravely as she
fought to hold back the tears. She'd always been so strong, so brave...

~Here I am, alone again; I need her now to hold my hand...~

Mike's throat tightened as the image wasted away again, Carrie's screams echoing off of sterile white walls as she
reached for him from a blood-covered bed. I always said I would protect you... "My God, what have I done to
you, Carrie?" Mike choked out in a pained whisper. "What have I done-to both of you?"

"No, Mike. Your love is a gift. It's the greatest gift God ever gave me..."

Mike swallowed hard as those words triggered another memory, silently granting him a bittersweet reprieve. Mike let
it pull him back, knowing he could never hear her voice again...

Mike finally broke away from their kiss, breathlessly burying his face in his shoulder as he held her tight. He
pulled back, staring down at her in joyous disbelief, breaking into a smile that came straight from his heart."I
can't believe you said that."

Her beautiful smile answered him. "It's true," she said softly, staring up into his eyes. "God forgive me, but I
do. I love you."

Mike lifted his hand toward her face, wanting to say so much, but unable to find the words. He cradled her
cheek in his hand, his heart swelling with emotion as he leaned down to kiss her again. "I love you..."

Mike pulled over into a small leveled off area near the side of the road, allowing himself to sit in the silence for a
moment. It had taken him a better part of the night to get to Chicago, but he hadn't been able to stop. He'd driven all
around town, searching everywhere. He had to find her...

Mike's gaze drifted out his passenger side window. The view was breathtaking from this hill. Something Carrie
would've loved... Mike's eye caught on a small, oddly shaped stone in a sheltered spot under some trees. His breath
stilled in his throat. Was it her? Could it be...God, he didn't even know her name...

Mike opened the car door, his eyes never leaving the small stone as he moved silently towards it. His steps slowed as
he came closer, a small cluster of wildflowers stirring in the wind before it. Mike's chest tightened as he saw the new
sparse sprouts of grass that dotted the dark ground in front of him. Mike's eyes stopped on embedded words in the
top of the stone. He moved closer, staring down at the words.

~Angel~1999~

Mike's legs suddenly went weak, and he fell brokenly to his knees. His hand shook as he traced the letters, and he
fought the tears that brimmed his eyes as the image wavered.

"I couldn't think of what else to call her."

Mike's eyes closed in anguish. He couldn't let himself look at her. Not when he had to make himself walk away...

~She's all, she's all I ever had...~

He heard Carrie move a few steps closer behind him. "That was all I could think of every time I looked at her," she
said softly. "That's what she was, Mike. She was an angel. Our angel."

A strong sob broke through, and Mike's shoulders jerked. He'd fought too long, tried too block them out too many
times...he couldn't hold them back anymore...

~So much time, so much pain, but there's one thing that still remains...~

Carrie's arms closed tightly around his shoulders, Mike's body wracked with uncontrollable sobs. "It's okay-let it
hurt," she whispered brokenly against his ear. "Just let it hurt." She rocked him back and forth, stroking her hand over
his hair as he crumpled back against her. "You don't have to be strong for me now, Mike. Let me be strong for
you--for both of us."

~It's the way she cared, the love we shared...~

Mike's sobs finally stilled, and he lifted his eyes to Carrie's. "Carrie, do you really think she knew how much we loved
her? That I really did love her?"

Carrie smiled softly, her eyes going to the stone. "I know she did."

"How?"

Carrie turned her eyes back to Mike's. "Because I told her." She reached a hand to Mike's cheek. "I told her how
much you loved her, and how proud you would've been of her." Carrie's eyes shone. "That's when she smiled."

Mike pulled Carrie into his arms, and they held each other tight, rocking gently. "I won't let go this time, Mike. I let
you slip through my fingers once, and I be damned if I'm going to let it happen again. I don't ever want to let you go
again."

Mike stroked her hair, letting her love and her strength surround him again. "Then don't," he whispered.

~She's all I'll ever need....~

End Part 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another Second Chance--Part 7

Carrie opened her eyes, then squinted at the early afternoon sun sinking slowly over the water, warming the winds that
stirred the trees over their heads and setting their branches off in a gentle glow. She sighed, smiling softly. She'd
almost forgotten just how beautiful the sunsets from this hill were--almost. This was what it had been like when she'd
first found this spot. She'd gone for a walk that day, feeling an inexplicable tug towards the riverside beckoning her
from her window. The sun was barely a glittering sliver etched across the waterline by the time she'd reached the
hilltop, streaking the sky in a breathtaking array of color. Even then, she knew this place would have an impact on her
life, somehow....

She felt Mike stir against her, and she turned her eyes to his face. Deep shadows hindered his face, the exhaustion
from the past few days evident in his features. In spite of that it seemed, he looked peaceful, almost serene as he lay
reclined against the broad trunk of the tree, the breeze feathering his hair over his forehead. Carrie readjusted, and
Mike mumbled something inaudible as his forehead furrowed, his arms tightening around her and pulling her back
against him. His frown disappeared as she settled back next to him. Carrie slid her arms around his waist and laid her
cheek against his chest, her eyes closing with a gentle smile at the soft thudding of his heart against her ear.

"It's okay, " she assured him in a slight whisper, burying her face against his chest. "I'm not going anywhere." She slid
an arm around his shoulders, hugging him closer against her. "Not without you."

******************************************************

Carrie woke a while later alone, the sunlight nearly gone. She blinked, her eyes coming into focus on Mike crouched
beside the gravestone. She silently rose to her feet and went to him, her hand resting on his shoulder as she crouched
beside him.

Mike looked up at her with an acknowleding smile, his eyes going back to the stone as he absently twirled a delicate
white blossom between his fingers. "It's strange....I never even knew her, and I still ....miss her somehow."

Carrie smiled. "I know. Me too."

"Carrie, there's something else I didn't ask you before. I was so...shocked, with all of this happening at once and
everything..." he drifted off as their eyes met. "You went through absolute hell with all of this, and the trauma, both
physically and mentally..." He sighed in slight frustration, laying his hand over hers. He linked their fingers together, his
touch saying what his words could not. "Will you be okay?"

She stared up into his eyes for a moment, then looked down at the stone in front of them. She brushed her fingers
lovingly over Angel's name. "I will be," she answered quietly, her eyes going back to his. She smiled softly, squeezing
his hand. "I will be."

Mike brushed a gentle kiss across the back of iher hand, holding it against his heart. They both looked back down at
the gravestone, and Carrie let her head fall to Mike's shoulder. Mike stroked his thumb over the stem of the flower he
held, bringing it to his lips before laying it at the base of the letters. "Goodbye for now, my sweet Angel." He pulled
them both to their feet.

They looped their arms around each other, watching the grave for a silent moment. Carrie squeezed Mike's hand.
"Let's go."

******************************

After they arrived home, Mike and Carrie spent the next few weeks just enjoying being together. They spent hours
talking, or just going for walks through the park. They talked about big events, small details, and everything in
between.

The leaves rustled in the breeze as they walked hand in hand over the winding pathway that led through the park.
Mike was the first to break the silence. "Carrie?"

Contented green eyes lifted to his as he pulled her to a stop. "Hmmm?"

"I need to ask you a question."

Carrie grinned lightly, clasping his hands in hers. "Like what?"

"We talked about starting over, having a new beginning with a clean slate." Carrie nodded. "Well, I was wondering if
you would mind if I talk you into going out with me tommorrow night."

Carrie lifted an eyebrow. "You're asking me out?" Her smile widened slightly. "Like on a date?"

Mike nodded, sliding his arms around her. "Think of it as our first date--the one we never had." His smile softened. "I
want to add a very special, memorable night to our new beginning."

Carrie nodded, looping her arms around Mike's neck, biting her lip as she pondered his request. "Well, then I guess I
just have one question."

"What's that?"

Carrie grinned. "What time are you picking me up?"

End Part 7

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