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mmJun- trying to justify his lies!
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Date Posted: 04:21:54 03/17/06 Fri
Author Host/IP: 203.213.199.10
The two faces of gossip.. by the King of false showbiz gossip!
The two faces of gossip
DIRECTLINE By Boy Abunda
The Philippine Star 03/17/2006
++++++++++++ mmJun +++++
The master. Trying to justify
his wrong doings
in showbiz media!
Boy Abunda is so full of it..
+++++++++++++++++
Each one of us has at one time or another been a victim of gossip.
And each one of us more than once in our life has been a purveyor of
tsismis. Gossip according to the American Heritage Dictionary is a
rumor or talk of a personal, sensational or intimate nature. Gossip
usually involves talking about people who are not present when the
conversation takes place. And gossip usually starts in a small group
or among two to three persons until it spreads like wild fire.
But is gossiping healthy? Does it have positive implications or is
it totally destructive? We gossip a lot in our homes, offices,
churches, schools, restaurants and gay bars. Kings have been
stripped of power because of gossip. Queens have befallen from grace
because of rumors. Even coup d’etats have been thwart because of
gossip.
Why do people gossip? First, gossiping about another person allows
the gossiper to achieve a special position in front of other
gossipers. This way, the gossiper is creating his own gossip
network. Second, the gossiper creates influence by ingratiating
himself to his audience by leaking "confidential, classified
information" with a privileged audience. And third, the gossiper
unwittingly paves his way to hell and perdition. Some people gossip
because they want to improve other people’s perception of
themselves. As natural born gossipers, we are interested to talk
about the activities of others who have at one point or another
directly affected us – our relatives, high society, government
officials, movie stars, politicians.
Self-serving gossips are toxic. However, gossip becomes positive
when used positively. For instance, gossip can be a form of social
control when used to deter destructive behavior. Several coup
d’etats in this country have been avoided because of lingering
gossip about attempted destabilizations and military unrest. In this
case, gossiping has allowed each one of us to be watchful and
careful of the movements of others. It has also allowed us to be
discerning of the actions of others.
Last week on my show Private Conversations (6 p.m., Thursdays, ABS-
CBN News Channel), I invited my dear friend Cristy Fermin, one of
our local showbiz’s authorities on gossip. Cristinelli can smell a
gossip material a mile away. She is as controversial as the people
she writes about. She is also one of the best Pilipino writers in
showbiz. Cristinelli says that showbiz gossips follow the dictum
that "where there is smoke there is usually fire."
Basically there are three types of tsismis. We have the nasty
tsismis, the "maling akala" tsismis, and the distorted tsismis. The
first, like the wicked witch in Cinderella, is a tsismis that is
intended to inflict harm on somebody. The tsismosa has the intention
of destroying the person while spreading the nasty talks. And
usually, there is competition between the person spreading the
tsismis and the subject of the tsismis itself. The "maling akala"
tsismis is often the result of someone drawing the wrong conclusion
from something he saw.
An example is: A saw Madonna entering a motel in Pasig. Then A told
B that Madonna went inside a motel in Pasig. B in turn told C that
Madonna went to a motel at may kasamang lalaki. Then, C forwarded
the story to D saying that Madonna was in a motel and was seen
kissing her boyfriend. What the tsismosas did not know was that,
indeed, Madonna was at the motel because she was buying the motel
and it was her husband who was with her. The distorted tsismis
starts as a fact, but as it is passed on from one person to another,
some details are distorted even corrupted. Example: JLo was rushed
to the hospital because she had diarrhea. A called B to say that JLo
was rushed to the hospital because she is pregnant. B passes on the
story to C and says that JLo is having an abortion because her
boyfriend refuses to marry her, etc., etc.
Cristinelli says that to parry a tsismis you need to have "pruweba."
However, there are no perfect solutions to detangle one from
tsismis. There are ways to counteract tsismis. One, is to let the
gossip die. Truly the saying, "it will die a natural death" proves
to be correct when dealing with certain kinds of rumors and gossips.
If you say nothing, you will add nothing to the tsismis. Remember,
the more you talk the more mistakes; and the less you talk, the less
mistakes. Some movie stars who have been the subject of gossip
confront the "attacker" head-on. This can work but this is also not
a sure-fire formula because, such confrontational style may spawn
more gossip and it may even lead the gossiper to think that he and
you are on the same level. Cutting the gossip at the nip of the bud
by coming out in the open with the truth may even be doubly
effective. Get the truth as fast as you can and do it like when you
do a counterstrike. Do a "blitzkrieg," meaning a surprise attack.
The subject of gossip can also do the same, "unahan mo na kumbaga"
with the truth and nothing but.
Now, if you are the subject of gossip in showbiz, it could be that
you have "arrived." But be very careful, you yourself might believe
what they are gossiping about.
http://www.philstar.com/philstar/NEWS200603171702.htm
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.............................
The master. Trying to justify his wrong doings
in showbiz media!
Boy Abunda is so full of it..
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