VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 00:49:29 02/27/05 Sun
Author: Anonymous
Subject: The Ultimate Pageant Mom's Resume

Beauty Pageant Queen Mom
Trailer Trash Street
Rentals By The Day, USA
1-800-GOTTA-WIN

Summary of Qualifications: I have, IMO, a beautiful daughter. The best Coaches, H/M vendor, the best digitized and over done photos, and all the best clothes. You see money is no object. I poses all the attributes I mean attitudes required. I can smile and compliment your daughter and at the same time think" Thats our Competition, no way". I can annomisouly sabatoge your DD's clothing. I can teach my DD to pick her nose and wipe it on your DD,s beauty dress. I can snicker and gasp during Crowing when my DD beats your DD. After a Pageant I can brag about my DD and at the same time talk shit about your DD. I push, primp, and punish my daughter until she wins so I can be in the spotlight as the best PM ever. I never leave for a pageant without packing everything needed to cover my DD's imperfections, not that there is any. I can multitask! While hugging you and stabbing you in the back I can leave my gum in your hair.These are a few of my qualifications and there are many more to be discovered.

Professional Experience:

The Most Recent Popular National in Podunk, USA
Prior to the pageant I joined my favorite Bash Board to see if I could find out who was attending the pageant. Then I annomously bashed several of the children, wheather I knew them or not. At the pageant site I began rumors about every one I could and talked shit about the director and judges, thats what they get when they wont take a bribe. During the competition I only clapped for my DD and talked somewhat loudly when others were on stage. During Crowning I made comments about who would win over my DD and then smile when people told me my DD is beautiful, jerks, they dont realize she gets her looks from me! After my DD has beat all the other contestants and at home safely behind my computer, I created a congrats banner for my DD and signed it with bogus names. Still not satisfied I joined my favorite bash board and began the bashing!

The State Finals for the Most Recent National in Podunk, USA
Prior to this competition I spent alot of time kissing alot of ass trying to retain the services of the most sought after pageant vendors. I can honestly say that I may have to be sergically removed when my DD retires from pageants. Thankfully I succedded and my DD won again. Did I mention that my DD entered every prelim you had no matter how far away to ensure a win at this state pageant? La la la see you, I mean BEAT you at Nationals. After this competition another PM told me about congrats banners and the BASH BOARD. You know, the pink one.

The Prelims for The Most Recent National in Podunk, USA
Prelims are the place where I learned the art of kissing ass. My DD did win, however she wanted to do it again so we followed the director to each prelim there was. I threw out my back helping the director set up the stage. I didnt know it then but now know that I was in trainning for COI. I learned all about Glitz, over done digitized photos that make make my DD look like a china doll with big alien eyes and holloween waxed lips and twice her age, about pretty hands and pretty feet, fake this and fake that, About tanning even though my DD has a perfect tan theres always room for improvement, to lie about my DD's age,
how to manipulate the fallback date, how to collect newbies names and numbers to use as referals to get fees off of pageants and photo shoots etc....., how to watch and learn or steal ProAm moves, how to sell used pageant clothes to newbies even if you have to lie about how great thier DD looks in them. In short, Prelims are the place to really get the scoop on how to make it to Nationals. All seasoned PM's love to talk, even if it is bullshit.

Education:
None other that High School in Podunk, USA

References:
Big Ego Dress and ProAm Wear Maker
Excessive H/M Artist
Skin Spraying Tanner
Over Priced Swimwear Maker
And Last But Not Least: The Holier Than Thou Pageant Director

All will give great references stating that when it comes to kissing ass I am the best.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-7
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.