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| Subject: With deep regret | |
Author: Paganwolf (resigned to the inevitable) | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 25/01/07 9:37 The most fundamental decree by which a witch lives his or her life is the adage, "Do as you please but harm ye no-one" Neither by fault or malicious design, i've done the one thing that I swore on my initiation i would not. She is a warm, gentle, tender person who by her own admission needs more than a phone call, text or 'e' mail but above all else physical contact, a situation compounded by the distance we are from each other. She told me frequently that she, at times had jealous feelings and upon hearing that, I should have looked at who I talk to on the net and in what manner, i.e myspace etc (I will say this time only, no malicious, devious or unethical activities) Albeit too late, I addressed this situation but alas, it seems too late to solve this problem. We are both proud people and at times have both said things we never meant. Once the words are said however, the words fly to the heart with all the pain and hurt they, albeit not truthfully, were designed to inflict upon their utterance. She is, quite rightly very angry, very hurt and very dissapointed in me and my actions. As I said earlier, my actions were not intentionally hurtful but its plain to see that the cumulation of momentary lapses in concentration of what was important to me, her, have led to various impressions of me, my intention and my action. I could go on and on about this but the truth is right now, my heart, spirit and soul are broken, I'm not currying favour but telling the truth because I know that sometime she has looked in at the garden so would wish her to know that even if we never speak to each other again, I had the courage and convivction to stand up and say that I was wrong, that i'm sorry and that with her departure, there is a major part of me missing but above all else, that i've looked at myself and my actions and learned (albeit too late) what went wrong and will start to address them. Maybe she may forgive, may not, time, it is said is a great healer and that is one thing that I have a lot of right now. I need to focus on the shortcomings in my character, the weaknesses i have shown and the errors I have made and because of this, I must leave the garden. It is highly improbable i'll be back for anything other than a long, long time if at all which brings me to the one last thing i'd like to say. Everyone here is a very special, sentient being, you all have inner beauty and the wisdom, advice, friendship and compassion you have shown will remain with me always and for that, I thank you sincerely. I need closure one way or another with the most wonderful woman I have ever met so I will learn my lesons, take my medicine, eat the humble pie, and every day beg that she can forgive. That must be my focus now so with that, I'll take my leave of you and hope that each of you cna forgive my actions shown towards this woman. Go with grace, peace and your God or Goddess, Harm ye no-one Blessings, love and light Wolf [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 15:16 But why do you have to leave? i don't understand???? sorry you are so upset but we are all human. isn't life about living and learning, making mistakes and doing better? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: gaiangrub (eyebrows way up) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 15:50 one the most wonderful things about the internet is the anonimity. how-ever, like all things, there is a darkside (put the kiddies away on this one). i have dipped the tip of my toe in some internet pools out there (porn) 'cuz i'm still whatever i am that prompts me to try just about anything once.gross i know but very human i am. ANYWAY it is not my thing and i am not saying Paganwolf is into that stuff ,what i am saying is that he and his lady friend are not alone in the struggle to trust when there are so many ways to practice internet deception. i just came out of a several year hell, i mean relationship that was very much poisoned by the darkness to which i refer. oooh i despise liars RRRROOOOWWWRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem--- so anyway [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: gaiangrub (anonomously honest) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 16:08 p.s. i don't know how much feedback you (Paganwolf) get from the girls (this is not a come-on!!!)but you some how left the impression that there is something hunkalicious about yourself there in the U.K. so maybe you better watch that 'cuz that is the first time i picked that up from the net good luck with your heart [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 15:52 I too am confused as to why you feel you have to leave but I don't need to understand. I have enjoyed talking with you and may the Lord and Lady bless your journey. Pilgrim. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 17:37 Dear paganwolf Thank you for your courage posting this. Who among us have never acted in ways we regret? You are obviously hurting and in pain - please do not forget to forgive yourself. May your path lead you through the steps to peace. zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel (:O() [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 19:18 [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sam spaniel (:O() [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 19:22 dearest paganwolf. (if you are still here) i am so sorry that you have had to go ..... the garden will not be the same hun........... thank you for your support given to me during my very trying time this summer........ you have a beautiful heart, and i am sad at losing you from the garden (selfish) maybe you will return sometime.... we'll keep a blanket under the tree for you , at the warmest bit of the fire xxx many hugs and blessings to you wolfie.... love Sam xxxx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: jade [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 25/01/07 19:30 well I have to say, that I can usually be found in the dark receses of the internet. and having found someone recently to share my life with, i can see both points of view when it comes to trust. relationships are fragile enough to start with, the internet makes it incredibly difficult. I do wish you all the best paganwolf. You will just have to do as your heart sees fit now, life is an incredibly hard lesson sometimes. dont blame yourself all the time though, insecurities get to us, all of us. It sounds very much like your lady friend was insecure, of which i understand. But those are issues that she needs to address herself also. good luck with everything and maybe we will see you back on here in due time. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |