| Subject: Hey everyone!! |
Author:
Becky
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Date Posted: 11:43:37 06/15/05 Wed
So this is my first time to this board, I was just looking through the other one...
So lets see, I was in a partial program for my ED for 6 weeks, it helped me soo much, but then they discharged me before I was ready(even though I told them I wasn't ready) and so here I am again. I have been struggling with the ED thoughts, food, body image, you know the "usual," once again. So that totally sucks but I still have not given up total hope. I still go to a therapist(kim) now twice a week though, and she is very helpful. I think a lot of her helpful ness has to do with the fact that she had an ED when she was younger and was an inpatient for a while, so I know that she knows exactly what this is all like for me(more or less). So I don't know, I really like her still which is a plus.
My mood continues to improve daily, which is cool. Well not so much the past week, but thats a different story. I am actually happy part of the time now, and that is something that I had to relearn. I still don't feel any other emotions, like saddness, hurt, etc. I am still extremely shut down and all that crap, but even though I know it is not a "healthy" thing, it works for me. But I don't know.
The past few weeks I have not been able to follow my meal plan whatsoever, and in this "relapse" it seems to be worse then ever(which I know that it gets worse every time) but still it scares me. It is just seeming like so much for me now, and I am so overwhelmed and all but I have not yet given up hope, I still manage to get in food at the meal times(even if it is only an orange for dinner :o/). I do my best, each day is a struggle against the ED but I am still fighting!!
Good luck to everyone out there
Just thought I would update!!
take care
Becky
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