| Subject: Re: Family Christmas C4/8 plus |
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fananicfan
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Date Posted: 17:40:31 06/14/07 Thu
In reply to:
fananicfan
's message, "Family Christmas - story after How We Became Us in the series" on 09:10:59 06/11/07 Mon
CHAPTER FOUR – Time Reveals Part of the Answers
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Harm let Mattie sleep in a little later this morning because today was going to be nonstop tourist stuff, from a ride on a double-decker bus to a close up view of the River Thames.
They put in a full day of it and returned tired and hungry. Harm cooked dinner and promised another day like it tomorrow, saying that, since this was the last weekend before Christmas, they needed to keep at it if she was going to see everything on her list. She could use Monday to recover while he was at work.
While they were eating, Harm asked Mattie if she wanted to talk to Mac when he called after dinner, and Mattie had answered that she'd like to talk to her. Harm thought that hearing at least one side of their conversation might provide another piece of the puzzle if he could interrupt it correctly. After the dishes had been cleared from the table, Harm dialed the number. Mattie sat in the chair opposite Harm, listening and waiting for her turn. Mac answered on the second ring with a very tired sounding, "Hello."
"You sound tired," Harm stated.
"I am. I've been working very hard. I thought it would slow down for the holidays and let me catch up, but it hasn't."
"That explains the short conversation last Saturday and the one and two line emails from you this past week. I wish you could be here so that we could have a family Christmas together, but I understand. I want you to know that Mattie will be bringing back a present or two for you."
Mac was smiling on the other end at the thought of being together. "So you miss me, huh?"
"More than you'll ever know."
Mattie was squirming and seemed anxious to talk to Mac, so Harm said that there was someone else who missed her and wanted to say hello, and he handed the phone to Mattie. Harm listened carefully to this side of the conversation, hoping to gather more information about the trouble between Mac and Mattie.
“Hi, Mac, are you feeling okay? I mean, have you been able to get any sleep with me away?”
“Hello, Mattie, I feel fine. I’m getting as much sleep as I did when you were here.” Mac paused, thinking about Mattie feeling responsible for her lack of sleep, and it caused her heart to ache. “Mattie, it’s not your fault. I just feel a lot of pressure to make this new office a success. It’s work that's keeping me awake, not you. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I understand. I was just hoping that you’d get better without me there.”
“Mattie, I’m glad you care, but you don’t need to worry. I’m just tired. My plan for the office is on schedule, which means that, by the first of the year, I won’t be putting in so many hours. I’ll have time to rest and spend with you, if you want to.”
“I’d like that. I know that I’ve been a pain lately, but I would like to spend more time with you.” Mattie’s tone echoed the remorse that she felt. Mattie was focused on the conversation that she was having with Mac and didn’t see Harm’s reaction to her comment about being a ‘pain.’ That was something that Harm wanted to know more about after the call.
“I know that having to live with me instead of Harm, Harm and me getting married, and the move was a lot for you to take in all at once. We’ve had a rocky start, but when you’re ready to talk, we’ll work it out.”
“I hope it isn’t too late.” Mattie was visibly upset as she spoke this line, and Harm took note of it.
“We’ll have a long talk when you’re ready,” Mac replied.
“Okay, soon.” Mattie was starting to feel the sting of the tears forming in the corner of her eyes. “I'd better let you talk to Harm now.” Mattie handed the phone back to Harm, and the look on his face told her that the comments that she'd made would result in the conversation that she’d been dreading for a week.
Harm took the phone and watched Mattie sitting with her hands clasped in her lap while he put the phone up to his ear and spoke. Harm wanted to know what was going on from Mac, but he didn’t want to have the conversation in front of Mattie. “Hey, I’m back,” Harm said, since it was only thing that he could say at the moment.
Mac knew that Mattie had become upset during their conversation. “Hey, I know you probably have a million questions, but I don’t have any answers. We need to get off the phone. She’s upset, and you need to talk to her. Maybe she’ll tell you what's going on.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be fine if you can tell me what’s wrong with our daughter. Please call me after you've had a chance to talk to her."
“I'll will. I love you."
"I love you. Bye"
"Bye." Harm hung up the phone and locked his gaze on Mattie.
Mattie had been able to keep the tears from falling. She sat in the chair across from him, waiting for him to say something. She knew that she wouldn't have to wait long when his eyes became fixed on hers.
"Are you going to tell me what you meant when you said 'I've been a pain'?"
Defenses in place at the moment, Mattie returned a flippant answer. "Mac's already told you, so just dish out my punishment."
"Mac told me that you were reluctant to start school and that you wanted you're driver's license, but now I'm sure that I didn't get the whole story. I want you to fill in the blanks."
Mattie took in a deep breath and tried to form her thoughts while wondering why Mac hadn't told Harm about her behavior. Mattie did as he asked and gave Harm a full confession, even about the bus trip to the mall after school that she was sure that no one knew about. Mattie finished speaking and looked at Harm. She hoped that he'd just ground her so she could go to her room.
Harm listened without interupting until he knew that she'd finished. "Why, Mattie, why did you do those things?"
"Different reasons for different things."
"Tell me."
Mattie told him about her fears about school and the need to be like other kids her age concerning the driver's license. After that information, Harm asked about the other incidents.
Mattie answered, "None of it was on purpose. I'd be upset because I'd gotten a so so grade on a test that I knew that I studied hard for, and Mac would ask me to do something, and things would just come out of my mouth."
"Why didn't you talk to Mac about what was bothering you instead of snapping at her?"
"She works a lot. If she's there, she brings work home, or she looks so tired that I don't want to bother her."
"Mattie, you wouldn't have been a bother to her. She'll talk to you anytime you need to talk." Harm paused. "Why didn't you talk to me when I called or email me that we needed to talk? I would've called to talk to you."
"I didn't want you to decide that I was too much trouble. You might change your mind about being my guardian."
Harm slid over onto the coffee table to get closer to Mattie. "Mattie, I thought we were past all this. I'm sorry that I haven't made it clear lately. I'm not going anywhere. You can talk to me any time about anything."
Tears began to flow slowly down Mattie's cheeks. "So you're not mad?"
"Angry at myself for not being there for you, but I'm not angry with you."
Mattie began to feel better after her teenage troubles were out in the open. Her arms went around Harm's neck, and they hugged briefly. Mattie pulled away and said that she wanted to go wash her face before she helped him with the dinner dishes.
Harm watched Mattie turn to go down the hall to the bathroom. He called to her. "Mattie, in case I haven't told you lately, I love you."
Mattie smiled. "I love you, too," she replied and disappeared down the hall.
Mattie returned a few minutes later, and they did the dishes together before the physical activity from sightseeing and the emotional drain of this evening's confessions took their toll. Mattie announced that she'd like to go to bed and get some rest since they had a busy day planned again for tomorrow. She hugged Harm before going to her room. Harm started to call Mac, but decided against it. He'd see if Mattie's mood improved over the next couple of days before calling Mac and letting her know what had transpired here tonight.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Minus the moodiness that Mattie had displayed before, the day was wonderful, full of sightseeing and fun. Mattie was lively and pleasant. She took pictures and was thrilled to check off more things on her list. They had such a good time that it was dinner time before they knew it. They opted to have dinner out and enjoy the atmosphere of the city a little longer. They returned to the apartment after dinner, tired and ready to get some rest.
Monday, December 19, 2005
The weekday routine was followed, and Harm and Mattie had breakfast together. During breakfast, Harm told her that Monday mornings were always hectic at the office, but by lunch, he'd have the office settled enough to get home by two. They'd go shopping because they still hadn't bought Mac a present.
As Harm gathered his cover and briefcase, Mattie asked, "What do you think Mac wants for Christmas?"
"I don't know. Since we're running out of time, we might have to go with a bottle of her favorite perfume."
"Harm, what do you want for Christmas?"
Christmas was this weekend, and Mac hadn't said a word about getting leave, so he answered Mattie's question in a low voice full of disappointment. "What I really wanted was Christmas with my family."
Mattie asked, "No word from Mac though?"
Harm shook his head. "I'll be home early, so rest up so we can get our shopping done."
Harm returned in the afternoon and they headed out to do their shopping. On the way, Mattie asked why Harm wanted to make sure that he got the gift before Christmas if Mac wasn't going to be there. Harm replied that it wasn't really a Christmas present if he bought it after Christmas. He added that, if he knew his mother, there'd be pictures taken on Christmas day, and Mac's present needed to be under the tree so that she wouldn't think that the gift was an afterthought when she saw the pictures.
They ate dinner out again, but they'd finished their shopping. They spent the evening watching a movie and wrapping a couple of Christmas presents before calling it a night.
Mattie was feeling better, but Mac's doctor's appointment still weighed heavy on her mind. She needed to talk to Harm about it, but it was so close to Christmas. If it was bad news, it would spoil his Christmas even more than not having her here for the family Christmas that he wanted.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Their morning routine was the same. Over breakfast, Harm told Mattie that he had some meetings today that would keep him at the office all day. Mattie said that she'd wrap the presents that they hadn't wrapped last night, watch a movie or two, take a nap, the usual stuff while he was gone.
Harm left for the office, feeling good about the situation with Mattie. It had been a couple of days since the intense conversation, and Mattie was much better. Harm still saw something in Mattie's eyes that led him to believe that Mattie still hadn't told him everything, but if things went well today, he'd call Mac tomorrow. He'd ease Mac's worries by telling her that he thought he'd solved some of Mattie's troubles by letting her talk. However, some of it Mac would need to solve. There were things that Mattie hadn't said that made him sure that Mattie needed to hear something from Mac as well.
Harm got home at the usual 1700 and started preparing dinner. Mattie came into the kitchen to see if she could help. She'd been thinking about it all day...Mac's doctor's appointment. What if Mac's appointment wasn't bad news? Maybe Harm did know, but because it wasn't a big deal, he just hadn't mentioned it. If it was bad news, what would happen to her? Mattie had rehearsed what she wanted to say, on and off all day, but when she asked her first question, her words didn't follow any of the scripts that her mind had rehearsed.
"Harm, can I ask you a legal question?"
Harm smiled. "I am a lawyer, so I can probably handle a legal question. Go ahead. What's your question?"
"If something happened to Mac, what would happen to me?"
Harm thought the question odd, but he answered. "Since the judge ordered joint permanent custody, you'd still be legally in my care without any hearings or anything. Does that answer your question?"
"Yeah, I think so. What would you do without Mac?"
Okay, he was concerned about this line of questioning. "I hope that I don't ever have to find out. I could have lost her when she was shot, and that was close enough for me to know that I don't want to lose her."
"What if you did? What would you do?"
For whatever reason, Mattie seemed to need to know the answers to these questions. "I'm not sure. I'd be upset and sad of course, but I'd have you, so I'd get through it. Why are you asking?"
"Because Mac has been tired and run down, she doesn't eat much and she had a doctor's appointment on the 16th that she didn't tell me about. Harm, is she really sick? Is she going to die?"
Here it was, the last piece of the puzzle about what was bothering Mattie. Unfortunately, the information about a doctor's appointment was a complete surprise to Harm. He didn't know that Mac had had an appointment. He didn't know what to say. "It must have been routine or she would have mentioned it to me.
"You didn't know about the appointment either?"
"No, I didn't. If she didn't tell you, then how do you know about her appointment?"
"Jen called just as we were getting ready to leave for the airport. Mac opened her planner to write something down and left it open. I saw it when she went to her bedroom to get my passport. I didn't mean to upset you, but I'm worried about her."
"Let's give her a call and try to clear this up."
Harm tried calling Mac at home, no answer. He tried calling her cell phone, no answer, and it went directly to voice mail. Harm looked at his watch. He'd been trying not to look worried and he hadn't taken into account the time difference. She should be at the office right now. He dialed her office number and got Petty Officer Coates. Jennifer said that she was in a meeting and she'd give the colonel the message to call him. Harm and Mattie waited, but no call came. Several hours past and there was still no call from Mac. Before Harm and Mattie went to bed, he tried to call Mac again. Jennifer said that Mac had stepped out for some lunch and should be back shortly.
Mac didn't return his call that night, but when he got to the office in the morning, he'd find an email from her.
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