| Subject: Re: Past Sins and Compassion, the Return (Part 3) |
Author:
Maximus
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 08:51:21 08/17/08 Sun
In reply to:
Maximus
's message, "Past Sins and Compassion, the Return" on 16:06:33 07/31/08 Thu
Title: Past Sins and Compassion, the Return. (Part 3)
(from Part 2)
Harm arrived home to some commotion from the children and he went looking for Mac. He found her, with her eyes closed, rocking his new son with all the peace he used to see when Harriet was with little Sarah when she was little. As if on autopilot, he removed little Harm from her arms and placed him in his bassinet. He pulled Mac up and into his arms for a warm embrace and a fantastic kiss like he used to give Harriet when he found her in that position.
Mac’s eyes not only popped open but became very large and wide as Harm realized what he had just done. He let her go immediately and started apologizing for being so direct and forward with her.
She looked at him as he stumbled all over himself trying to give her reasons why he had done such a thing and finally spoke:
(M) Now I know how very lucky Harriet was to be married to you. Thank you for giving me her reward. I remember other kisses we have shared.
(H) Thank you for understanding ………but Mac…..….I need to be honest with you…………... the old fire is coming back to life.
(M) Not to change the subject completely, but……..if the nanny job is still open, I will take it for a couple months while you find a permanent replacement. I think you deserve some time to get to know Katie and for her to get to know you. What do you say?
Past Sins and Compassion, The Return (Part 3)
(H) I would like that very much. You can move into the guest bedroom next door and I will move a twin bed in there for Katie or she can move into bunk beds with Sarah if you would rather.
(M) Since the Marriott is paid thru Friday, may I move in on Saturday after I am a real civilian?
(H) Certainly. I will have the cleaning lady start coming three days a week and that way you can be with Hilda a week before she leaves to find what she does and the family schedule. I know that getting AJ ready every morning for pickup by the school bus at 07:15 and his return at 14:20 are pivotal times in the family schedule and then I try to be home at 18:00 so we can eat together and can enjoy the children.
(M) If I remember correctly, change has always been difficult for you to accept. You do know I’ll need to do this my way, don’t you? Is that going to be a problem?
(H) Sarah, I will do whatever it takes. I am just so glad you are willing to help me out if even for a short time.
(M) Not a problem. Harm Jr. made me feel like a new mom all over again tonight.
(H) I can see we need to do something about the names we are going to use for everyone before it gets totally confusing. Since you are now going to be part of this family, I want to call you by your given name, Sarah, to make sure you receive proper respect. Mac was OK when you were just one of the gang, but that does not apply anymore. It would simplify things for the children if they could call you mommy, Sarah, or Miss Sarah whichever you prefer.
Little Sarah’s middle name is Nicole and Harriet used to call her Nicki most of the time. If we use that, you will be the only Sarah in the house. Little Harm’s middle name is Andrew and we could call him Andy or something like that. How does that sound?
(M) Actually I like Drew as a nick name. It means “Sturdy” and “Wise” and I am sure he will be with you as his father. I just don’t feel right calling him Harm for thousands of reasons because I believe there will only be one like you. But, I have to admit that with that Rabb smile, it will not matter what his nick name is because he is going to steal the hearts of so many women.
(H) It sounds like he’s getting to you too. So are we OK with you being Sarah from now on and Harm Jr now being called Drew?
(S) Yes. Sarah it is. Thank you.
(H) OK, that brings up the next problem. I am running out of breast milk.
(S) Funny, I hadn’t noticed that about you.
(H) Ha Ha, funny lady. What I mean is two ladies from church have been kind enough to let me buy their excess on a weekly basis but one is moving and the other is trying to dry up.
(S) What about the hospital? Do they have a source you can buy from?
(H) I don’t know but you can see I am out of my element talking to women about their breast milk. I don’t know who to start with. Can you ask around to find what or who we need to talk to?
(S) Sure. Someone at your office might know. Anyway, it isn’t a big deal because a doctor can now give a healthy woman a shot to start her to lactate at any time she needs to.
(H) In English please.
(S) I can take a shot and my milk would start to flow within a couple weeks.
(H) No Sarah, that is too much to ask. We need to find another way to take care of this.
(S) Harmon Rabb Jr, I see I am going to need to train you all over again. In our future, you will make some of the decisions, we will make many together, and I will make some by myself. You knew at one time what kind of decisions I reserve to myself and it hasn’t changed. It was a source of problems between us once and I assumed we would not need to go thru it again.
(H) I’m sorry for forgetting. I will give you my opinion from now on when asked and then abide by your decision.
(S) Harm, I found nursing very satisfying, I believe it increased the bond between Katie and I, and I am sure you wouldn’t mind watching the change from a 36-C to a 38-DD. I would like to breast-feed Drew if you wouldn’t mind. It’s something important I can do for Harriet and her last born.
(H) 38-DD’s huh. I wish I hadn’t missed that. When do you check thru Bethesda?
(S) Thursday. Can you help me make an appointment with Harriet’s Gynecologist for Wednesday in the afternoon so I don’t need to find a civilian doctor yet?
(H) That would be Dr Truman and I will make the call when you are in the office tomorrow.
But now the natives are growing restless and I think we need to feed everyone. I will go heat up the corned beef if you could get Drew ready for dinner.
Harm went ahead and started to pull the dinner that was left in the oven and rang the silver bell on the table. Everyone descended on the kitchen and AJ and Nicki found the silverware, placemats, and paper napkins to set the table as the others stood by to take a seat. Harm moved chairs around making room for Sarah at the other end of the table with Katie next to Nicki.
Harm brought the corned beef to Sarah who took hers and started passing it around as he dished up the sauerkraut, mint, corn, and potatoes. AJ watched and finished cutting Nicki and Katie’s meat after they made an effort with their fork. Since all the other normal dinner items were on the table, they stopped to say grace before digging in.
Harm explained to the children that Sarah had volunteered to take over the nanny duties while he searched for a permanent replacement. He explained that Katie was Sarah’s daughter and should be treated just like another sister to everyone. He opened the conversation to everyone and told them Sarah had agreed to answer any question they might have of her.
AJ seemed interested in the name changes and where Sarah and Katie were going to sleep and Harm could hear concern in his question. Harm opened it up by explaining that since Sarah had agreed to be their nanny for a while, they had discussed using other names to cut down on the confusion. He explained that Sarah was her given name and he wanted everyone except Katie to use Sarah or Miss Sarah for her. He reminded them that Katie would call her mommy and others could also if it was OK with Sarah.
He explained that Nicki was Harriet’s favorite nick name for little Sarah and he wanted everyone to start using that for her and since Harmon Andrew was so new he wanted everyone to start calling him Drew, short for Andrew.
Sarah then took over the conversation and explained that for now she would be staying in the guest room so she could hear Harm Jr. if necessary. She explained that Katie would have a twin bed in the same room until Nicki and Katie decided if they might want bunk beds in the room where Nicki was. Harm could tell that AJ seemed worried that Sarah might be here to take his deceased mom’s place. Harm knew he would need to calm AJ’s fears as time passed.
After the meal, the children were reminded that they had 45 minutes to finish things up and brush their teeth before bed. AJ brought his homework to the table as Harm and Sarah were cleaning up and loading the dish washer. Sarah spent time on purpose to look over his homework. Harm stayed looking busy, all the while letting her step into her new role.
Harm reminded everyone and they said bye as Sarah and Katie prepared to leave for the evening. Everyone was making their final call on the bathrooms as Harm walked Sarah and Katie out on the porch.
(S) May I leave Katie with your nanny tomorrow? I will be at the office at 09:00 so we can make the call about the doctor and then I need to drive to Quantico for my last range time and to turn in my weapon. I don’t know when I will be back but it shouldn’t be late.
(H) Sure.
(S) May I ask a question?
(H) Sure.
(S) Don’t you rate at least one steward as a 2 star?
(H) Two actually, but most of them are more trouble than they are worth.
(S) Since you have open bedrooms upstairs that a steward could stay in, do you mind if I make some calls? I have someone in mind that will do a good job and deserves a break. Please wait on the cleaning lady until I check on things. OK?
(H) No, I don’t mind, but………….she will need to be old and ugly so no one starts to talk.
(S) Harm, you are going to have me living in your house which will cause enough talk to fill all the DC news programs for some time to come.
(H) I don’t care. I lost out once and I don’t intend to do that ever again.
(S) I’m not sure what that means but it sounded good. Thank you for your acceptance of me and Katie. I had expected hate and indifference from you and I am very pleased with what I have found.
(H) Your return was always Harriet’s dream and goal. She constantly talked of you and she accepted that I would love you forever. I can’t tell you how glad I am to have you back and for bringing Katie with you.
(S) I’m glad to hear that. Good night, fly-boy.
Harm picked Katie up and gave her a kiss and a hug and told her good night. He watched as Sarah and Katie got into the rental car and drove away. Harm checked over the house and locked up. He warmed Drew’s bottle and picked him up so he could feed.
(H) What do you think about your new name? She called you Drew as if it was the most natural thing to do. She said your new name means sturdy and wise.
This is our lucky day Drew. She isn’t like your mom but she will be good to you and will love you more than life itself. I saw you put that old Rabb smile on her. I could see that she lost the war before it even started. I intend for her to be a real mommy to you but we won’t tell her that now. We need to give her a chance to decide she wants to do that for herself. Just keep putting that smile on her and she won’t have a chance.
Harm placed Drew back in his bassinet and set the alarm setting for bedtime. He showered and finally returned to the bed he had shared with Harriet. He had mixed emotions but knew that Harriet wanted him to mend fences with Sarah and at least try to make a life together. He was excited about the prospect because his body was reacting in a very positive way to being around her. Who was he kidding; she had made him harder than a rock several times today and it felt so natural to want to be with her.
Tuesday morning came and the nanny arrived right on time and the day began. Harm went thru his normal routine and paid special attention to what happened and when it happened. AJ was picked up by the school bus at 07:15 and Harm was at his office desk at 08:00 as always.
Sarah arrived at 09:00 and the phone call was made setting up a 15:00 appointment Wednesday with Doctor Truman. Sarah left for Quantico and the day got under way in earnest.
Harm had many things scheduled and Jennifer made sure his day progressed as planned. His plan ended after his 14:30 meeting was concluded and Captain Turner (his Chief of Staff) and Jennifer were called in to work on tomorrow’s schedule. They crossed out some completed items and discussed the staffing level. Harm reviewed the steward situation with them and revealed that Sarah had asked if she could make some calls about someone she knew. He also then revealed that Sarah had asked to take over as the nanny for his children for a time until he could replace the one that was leaving.
They decided to transfer in two junior attorneys to bolster the line of trial people since some were being transferred. They discussed Sarah’s retirement ceremony and Harm reminded them it would be held in the bullpen without much fanfare as the SECNAV had requested. Jennifer reviewed the time for the retirement ceremony and the catering service chosen for the light cocktail buffet. The meeting ended and Harm started reviewing the incoming cases.
Jennifer left his office with a smile of accomplishment knowing that Sarah would now at least be given time to put her plan into action.
Jennifer used the intercom at 16:40 to announce that Sarah wanted a word with him to which he told her to send her in.
(H) Did you get everything done in Quantico?
(S) Yes, but I found it a little strange. I used my side arm to complete my last qualification and was met by Major Blake, the Range Master. He presented me with my score sheets, a gun registration, and license as owner of my sidearm. Harm, they let me keep it. He handed me my pistol, saluted me and thanked me for my years of service before I left.
(H) Nice to be recognized, huh?
(S) Yea. At least to know that I am not just another number to some people.
(H) Sarah, I assure you, you are not to the ones that matter. I took the liberty of changing your final check out at Bethesda to happen immediately after your appointment tomorrow. After telling Dr. McCool about your current attitude, she has changed your Thursday 09:00 appointment from one hour to 3 and she asked me to join you for the final hour………if you don’t mind.
(S) Thanks. That will be fine but you know how much I hate talking to a shrink. Harm, ……………………. I have decided to have the lactation shot I told you about yesterday. It is really important to me to do something in remembrance of Harriet. Will you let me breast-feed Drew?
Do you think I should also get on birth-control pills?
(H) Sarah, I, er, I……………………………………I heard your questions but what am I supposed to say to you other than I think the pill is really a bad idea?
(S) Harm you are the father to my little girl and that did not happen by accident. I just wanted to know what you think the future possibilities might be between us.
(H) Good actually. I can see a day, after we have regained the love and respect we used to have for one another, when we might become a couple. Of course, I realize you might have other plans that do not include me.
(S) Harm, all of my plans include you. Of course, you realize it will screw up your perfect batting average with me, don’t you.
(H) Yes Sarah, but I have already chalked up my perfect batting average to beginners luck and I plan on practicing very strenuously for a long time before I play in that game again. Of course, I imagine my batting coach might have something to say about that.
(S) I would like to do “batting coach” if you will let me.
(H) I am not trying to add any pressure, but…………. I think we will need to live together for a while so we can explore what we each want and need and find if they are the same things. We now have 4 little ones to provide for and life needs to be good for them also. Let’s face it, neither of us needs the other for our continued existence anymore, ……………… and I think we should make sure our love is the special kind that will last thru a lifetime.
(S) OK. I’ll ask for the pill….……….. and we will just take it as it comes …………………….……….…right?
(H) Sarah, I am not a doctor, but I don’t think she will want you taking or doing both. Since Drew will be taking your special milk, I can’t see how the other drug would be good for him. I really don’t think the pill is a good idea. I can always wear a condom when that time comes.
(S) You’d do that for us? I know you don’t like to use them. You didn’t the last time and Katie is proof of that.
(H) Sure, I would, and if I remember correctly, me not wearing one last time was a decision we made together. You wanted to chance it just as much as I did but you never let me know the result. I am so glad we didn’t use one. I would be very pleased if you would breast–feed Drew.
(S) OK. I’ll talk to the doctor and find what she says.
May I use your phone to call Elga, the steward I shared in the hell hole, to find if she would like to be your new steward?
(H) Yes. Can you put it on speaker phone so I can listen in?
Sarah punched in the number she knew by heart and the phone rang three times before Elga answered.
(S) Elga this is Sarah MacKenzie.
(E) Yes colonel, what may I do for you?
(S) Cut the crap Elga. This is Mac. I have a chance to get you out of the hell hole. Are you interested?
(E) Damn straight. Who do I need to kill?
(S) It’s going to be hard work but fun. How about being a steward for a 2 star that just so happens to have the initials HR. It’s a six bedroom house with me, him, and 4 kids, Katie being one of them. He is a widower and has an infant son that is 2 months old but he and I will be taking care of him most of the time for now. You cook, clean and generally take care of his house and family. Elga, I need your help.
(E) Will my past record be a problem?
(S) Elga, Harm is a big “action” person and your actions will speak for you. If you want trouble, he will damn sure give it to you and you will lose this chance. You do the great job you are capable of and he will be a good friend to you. Do you want to spend the rest of your time in the hell hole or are you ready for a reprieve?
(E) I want the chance. What do I do now?
(S) I am going to put him on the line now and you need to ask him for the chance and a transfer.
(H) Hello Elga, this is Admiral Harmon Rabb and I am the Navy Judge Advocate General.
(E) Sir, my name is Chief Petty Officer Elga Patterson and I request the position as your steward. I promise I will do a good job for you, sir.
(H) OK chief, I will draw and review your file. You come highly recommended by Colonel Mackenzie and if everything is OK, I will request your transfer.
(E) Thank you for this chance, Admiral.
(S) See, it was not that hard.
(E) Is he Katie’s “Harmon Rabb” you have told me so much about?
(S) Yes, one and the same. Things are better here than I have a right to expect. Elga, I have told him the good things and you need to make me proud. OK?
(E) You got it Mac.
Sarah hung up the phone and explained about Elga. She was neither old nor ugly. She was a Swede, stood 6 foot 3 inches tall, blond, 56 years old and was built like the proverbial brick outhouse. She was the steward for the quad and had taken care of Katie for Sarah when she had worked nights many times on a trust.
Her record said she had problems with military authority figures but Sarah had found that she resented questions about what she did in her off hours and felt it was none of anyone else’s business. She was a nudist and didn’t think anyone should have the authority to punish her for how she enjoyed her down time. Sarah guaranteed Harm that she would never do that in his home where anyone would see. She had a right to expect her privacy would not be violated.
Harm agreed to give her a chance as long as she didn’t do anything to disrupt the Rabb household.
After that was all settled, Sarah took her leave to go by the house and pick up Katie so they could go to the mall and to have a greasy meal at Beltway Burger.
Wednesday passed as everyone was busy and Harm received a call late in the day telling him that the lactation shot had been received and she confirmed that the doctor did not want her on the pill. He thanked her for thinking first of Drew’s safety. All he could think about was how long 5 years must have been in days, hours and minutes.
Sarah and Katie dropped by the house at 20:00 just to say hi and she told Harm she wanted to check on Drew. Everyone enjoyed themselves as Harm followed Sarah into his bedroom.
(S) We are OK about the shot ……………………...…right?
Harm stepped into her space and pulled her in for a hug.
(H) Yes, but you are constantly surprising me and you seem to be completely ahead of me as if we are in some kind of race or something.
(S) I don’t intend for anything to get past me this time. Time is too short and I feel like I need to do a make up test or something so you trust me……………….…….again.
(H) Sarah, please slow down so you don’t leave me behind. Please try to enjoy everyday and everything. What might happen between us will in it’s own time if it is meant to be but only when both of us are ready and want it badly enough. I promise that I will do what is necessary at the time for your protection.
(S) Your right. I just wanted to make sure you understood and was still OK about it.
(H) I do and we are OK. By the way, I requested Elga’s transfer today.
Next subject: At 00:01 on Saturday morning you will be a retired Marine with papers to prove it. A civilian again after 20 years and 2 months of service.
May I have the honor of your company on a dinner date to start at 17:00 Saturday evening? We can visit and dance at all the old haunts one final time in remembrance of our earlier time together. Since Hilda leaves the following Friday, this will be our last free weekend for a while since Drew will need one of us around from then on.
(S) Thank you, I would love too.
(H) Thank you. About Saturday morning, what time is check out time at the Marriot and do I need to bring a truck for all the boxes when you are ready?
(S) 11:30 and we could make a single trip if you rented one of those panel trucks for a day for $20. I can be ready to help load at 09:00.
(H) Since you need to turn in the rental car on Saturday, we can drop it off on our way back to the house. Are you ready to get your vette out of storage?
(S) Yes, but it isn’t very practical since we now have children. I have been thinking about getting something else.
(H) I understand. But….right now I need to check on Nicki and Katie if you want some time with Drew.
Sarah fed Drew his bottle and gathered Katie up later on and made her way to the door while telling everyone good night. Harm followed her onto the porch again.
(S) After we finish the meeting with Dr McCool tomorrow, I will stop by and sign all of the final forms and should be finished by 13:00. I have promised Katie I would take her to see a Disney film in the afternoon. May I take AJ and Nicki with me?
(H) Sure. I will take care of everything on this end and why don’t you have lunch here at home with them before you go. I will clear everything with Hilda if that is OK.
(S) Thanks that would be nice. All that will be left then is to be at JAG in full dress blues at 15:00 on Friday. I can’t really believe it is coming to a close.
(H) It is. But………………………….I believe that new exciting doors could be opening for you, if you want them too.
(S) Yes. I am excited about the possibilities of where those doors might lead me.
(H) Good. Good night ninja-girl. Good night Katie. He gave them both a hug and peck on the cheek.
On Thursday, Sarah arrived on time at Dr. McCool’s office and found her pleasant and prepared. The conversation started out very cordial and the doctor expertly started to draw feelings from Sarah. Challenges were met with emotions and Sarah let it all come tumbling out. They got down to her gut-level issues and dealt with each, trust being the most important. It continued on for 2 ½ hours even though Harm had arrived and was waiting in the outer office. After a plan of action was agreed upon, Dr. McCool invited Harm in.
After an opening, the doctor went after the guilty feelings Harm was having about the loss of Harriet and the seemingly forbidden feelings he was having about Sarah. She spoke about grief and its effect on people. She asked very pointed questions of both to make them see that the kind of love they once shared could never be extinguished and it was only natural for it to be surfacing now. She talked and told them to strongly embrace the feelings they were having if they truly wanted to make a life together.
She finished by listing some of the things Harm should do to take care of Sarah’s emotional needs and some things that Sarah needed to do for him. She told both to work daily on re-establishing Trust in everything they did and to concentrate on not pushing each other’s buttons. She told them to develop new buttons that reminded them of soft, wonderful moments together.
She reminded them that if and when they finally got together, it would only be because each had chosen the other above all others. That, she assured them, was the ultimate end to the journey to become one.
After the session was over, Harm walked Sarah back to her car and stood watching her.
(H) You look at peace with yourself.
(S) More than I ever remember being. My own promiscuity, unhappiness, and bad feelings stole so much from me only because I let it. I am letting it all go before I drown in it. Harm, thank you for believing in me.
(H) My pleasure. I want to always be the one you come too.
Harm watched her drive away knowing that things were different now and old hidden wounds could now start to heal.
Mac was back in the office at 12:48 after signing all of the final papers in Personnel and Payroll. She had received a rather large check for her accrued leave time that she had given up and had asked where Harm banked so she could get accounts set up at the same place. Harm made a call to the bank while Sarah was in his office to have a credit card issued in her name and Elga’s name so they could both access the household account for bills, food and whatever else they needed.
Sarah left to do her banking and for the movie she had promised Katie, AJ, and Nicki leaving Harm in her wake wondering about how she was molding herself around the life of him and his children. He certainly didn’t think it was a bad thing.
TBC
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 