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Date Posted: 10:27:57 06/21/05 Tue
Author: Scooturd
Subject: having faith

Two things happened to Scooturd today which resulted in this blog being shut down. Because of an intense desire for the arrival of the Rapture without any of the required apocalypse mumbo-jumbo, Scooturd headed into the backwoods of the Appalachia to practice a divinely inspired chant he received while vegetating on the sofa the prior night. Upon arrival at what appeared to be an ideal location, he stumbled upon Christopher Hitchens and Thomas Friedman consummating their love in a makeshift hammock. Startled and distracted, Scooturd found cover behind a nearby patch of brush, and began quietly chanting. Due to either the nearby distraction and/or getting the chant mixed up,...the millions of Rapture Christianists who truly deserve to be raptured the hell away from the normal people living on this planet...alas, are still here wreaking havoc. Regardless of good intentions, Scooturd accidentally raptured himself. Details of Scooturd's disappearance are sketchy, and Mr. Hitchens and Mr. Friedman deny being in the backwoods and also claim to have never seen Scooturd to begin with. We can only hope that on whatever dimension Scooturd dwells now,...that Scooturd is still trying to free the planet of the Christianist wack job End Times readers...and to also accomplish his ultimate goal of turning LaHaye and the other End Times author into Pez dispensers in a different galaxy. We wish Scooturd well...and the best of luck. And we ask that when he's done dealing with the radical unRight, that he then works his magic on all gREedPUBLICANs, American Talibangelists,...and the racist offspring of our Founding Mothers and Fathers. Again, good luck Scooturd. We have confidence you can free this country of the insane tyrants who are now running it. If there's anything we can do to help...please let us know.


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