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Date Posted: 12:33:45 10/16/05 Sun
Author: Poliana Ramos Netto
Subject: Re: Final Draft: Affective Variables In Second Language Acquisition
In reply to: Aline de Paula Alves 's message, "Final Draft: Affective Variables In Second Language Acquisition" on 06:24:25 10/16/05 Sun

Hi Aline!

In general, your essay is very good. However, according to the points Ricardo will evaluate, I´d suggest you to pay attention to some of them:

1) Thesis statement: Well, it seems to be this sentence that summarises your thesis statement: “influence it (affective filter) has on the results of the learning process as a whole.” I think it is a good thesis statement and it is also very clear for the reader, but the problem I see is that you haven’t developed this idea throughout the text as were expected. Reading your text, it seems you are giving suggestions for teachers to keep the learner´s affective filter low instead of really talking about its influence in the learning process. So, I suggest you to develop better the idea of the thesis statement or adjust it.
2) Paragraph organisation and quotations / citations: I think you could also develop the ideas of the paragraphs separately. I think more information could be added . For example in paragraphs two and three, when you define high and low affective filter, I think you could detail how exactly they interfere; you could mention some examples or yet, opinions about theorists about this. Talking about it, I think you should give more resources in your text. We sometimes dont know which are ideas are yours and which are from someone. For example, when you talk about “silent period” you could define it for the reader and mention the authors who developed this theory. Also, many paragraphs in my opinion (mainly the ones you give examples of activities) contain just the topic sentence, so you could incorporate some quotations or citations into them, like information from another approaches, for example, that pays attention to emotional factors too.

Concerning vocabulary and grammar I think everything is ok.

I hope my feedback may help you.

Hugs,
Poliana

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