VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2, 3, 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 14:02:06 03/07/06 Tue
Author: Sylvia Bartlett Mohr
Subject: FWWATT Chapter 8 Section Four
In reply to: Sylvia Mohr Bartlett 's message, "FOR WHICH WE ARE TRULY THANKFUL Chapter 8" on 10:01:54 03/07/06 Tue

FOR WHICH WE ARE TRULY THANKFUL

By Sylvia Mohr Bartlett

CHAPTER 8: Don't Let It Slip Away

Section Four Turning Points




Chegwidden had a dour expression on his face. "I wish there was some safe way for me to handle that. I don't trust this young buck, Dinozzo, but Gibbs had told me the organ selling ring and murder attempts should not be covered in any detail on the phone. He just didn't warn me he would have his people handle it. I would like to find out how exactly Mallard wound up out there. Let's go see how Harm is doing. After that, I want to talk to Gibbs again."



Sturgis looked up as Doctor Studevant came in the room. "It doesn't seem like two hours have passed."

"It has." He listened to Harm's lungs, checked the chest tubes. "He's definitely sounding better on this side, but the other side actually seems a bit worse. X-ray will be along in a moment." He took Harm's pulse and ran a strip on the EKG machine, comparing it to an earlier print out. "The meds are helping the irregularity, but it is still there." He frowned and looked at Harm thoughtfully. "I'm going to cut back on the rate of inflow on these IV's."

The techs brought the X-ray machine in, set up and got a quick chest and took it back out.
Sturgis stayed by Harm's side, holding up the lead shield in front of himself, and helping where he could. The Chaplain and the doctor went in the hallway until the machine and the techs left after which they returned.

When they came back in, Sturgis was dealing with a suddenly restless Harm Rabb. "Easy, buddy, easy. What's wrong, Harm? Steady, man." He was having trouble holding Harm against the bed.

Studevant came up quickly and checked. "This chest tube is kinked. Hold him. Give me a minute."

"Hurts." Harm ground out. "Please. Take it out."

"It hurts because it isn't doing its job. Hang on, Commander. I've almost got it." Rabb finally relaxed as the pressure eased in his side. "Sorry, Harm. There was a kink in the tubing. It quit acting as suction. You were actually feeling some back pressure, I imagine."

"Felt like someone had a knife in and was twisting it." Harm managed to explain; relieved the pain was easing a bit. "It's time to start IT again, isn't it?" That was said with real dread.

"Not quite yet, but soon. Try and rest a bit longer. I need to go have a look at the X-rays. I'll be back."

"Don't hurry on my account." Harm muttered. He caught the look Sturgis gave him. "Look, I'm not going to pretend I am looking forward to it, okay?"

"I didn't say a thing, my friend."

"With your mouth," Harm retorted, "your eyes said plenty. You want to switch places here? This isn't exactly a walk in the park."

"Harm, I'm on your side. I don't like that you are going through all this one little bit, but they have to get that stuff out of your lungs and that's the only way to do it."

Harm sighed. "I know, Sturgis. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time." He was silent for a long moment. Suddenly he stiffened. "Chegwidden is talking to my mom, isn't he?"

"I wouldn't know. Dad and I have been with you. Why do you ask?" His friend had one eyebrow up.

"Oh, quit doing your Spock impression, bubblehead. I just know, okay?"

"Okay, 'Deanna'. I thought the Colonel was our empath."

"Nope, she is more like a telepath and a precognitive. Besides, my sense of my mom panicking isn't empathy, it is survival. She gets real over protective when her 'baby' is in jeopardy. I know he had to fill her in eventually. Something must have broken on ZNN for it to be now, though. I know he wasn't in a big hurry to make that call." Harm sighed. "Great, I'm going to get back to the mainland and have to deal with her and Frank wanting to take me 'home' to recover. They'll be on the next Lear to the east coast, if I know them. I just want to go to my home, not fly all the way to southern California."

"I think you have both been hanging out with Bud Roberts watching Star Trek reruns way too often." Chaplain Turner commented.

"Hey, the man uses Star Trek to bargain with terrorists and succeeds where trained interrogators fail. There's something to that. Besides, I've heard you use old episodes in a sermon or two, Dad." Sturgis remarked.

"Harmon, I think you'll have excellent back up for not getting dragged half way across the country from your doctor, so don't worry too much. I can help handle Trish and Frank, if necessary. I can speak to them as one parent to another."

"I'd appreciate it, Chaplain T." Harm replied, his eyelids trying to close on him. It was clear just this brief conversation was exhausting him.

"Get some more rest, Harm, while you can." The Chaplain urged gently.

"I'll try." He closed his eyes completely and tried to relax. "I feel all sweaty."

Sturgis smiled and offered. "I can help out with that." He dipped the washcloth in the water, wrung it out and began to wipe his friend's face, neck and arms and hands.

"That feels good. Thanks, Sturg."

"Rest, Harm." His friend urged him. "No more talking." He didn't like how quickly Harm lost energy after making any effort to really connect with others.



As Doctor Studevant came out of Harm's room, he met up with two Admirals who looked just a bit shell shocked. "Are you two okay?"

"Funny you should ask," Boone remarked, "because I was about to ask you the same question. You look like you just did a round with Ali at his prime."

"The Commander is suffering from further complications."

"What? Damn it, doc. What now?"

"Calm down, Tom. Let the man talk."

"There's fluid accumulating around his heart. His kidneys are struggling to filter out all the toxins, so I had to give him Lasix to encourage them to dump more fluids. He reacted to that almost immediately with a spasm in the ureter on one side, which is extremely painful. I had to give him something for the pain and some more versed. I'm hoping that will relax the spasm. His kidney was swelling from the excess fluid backing up in it."

"Why would he have fluid accumulating around his heart?"

"Between the cardiac irregularity and all the fluids we've been giving him, his system may just be a bit overwhelmed. I reduced the rate of drip on his IVs. I have to start giving him an inhalant to try and clear his lungs, but I'm holding off on 'the clown'. It would be too taxing and painful at this point to try and increase how much he inhales each time he breathes. Coughing up the fluid is going to be rough enough. I'm really concerned about his low energy reserves at this point. What happened to make you two look so bedraggled?"

"ZNN broke just enough information we had to call his mom and stepfather."

"Uh-oh. How did Trish and Frank handle the news of just how ill the commander is?"

"They are upset, to put it mildly. It's a lot to take in. They don't like that they were kept of the loop for this long. I am going to call them back with an update." Chegwidden explained.

"Trish wants you to put her son on a COD and ship him to the Naval Hospital in San Diego to get well."

Studevant snorted. "I'm worried about him making it as far as tomorrow morning right here. He won't be taking up to a flight to the West Coast until after Christmas, if he makes it that far."

"Things are that bad? You sound like you aren't sure he's going to pull through." AJ felt his stomach clench.

"I'm not. One thing keeps piling on another. He's not getting strong, AJ. He's wearing out. If he doesn't get some relief soon…"

"We thought we had turned a corner when we removed the contaminants." AJ mused. "You don't think he's still getting poisoned somehow."

Studevant considered, briefly, before he responded. "No. I think this is just the cumulative effects of how long everything has been gone on. It hasn't been long enough since we figured things out. He may be right on the verge of the breakthrough he needs, but he has to dig in and find the strength for these next few rounds. The more meds we have to give him to battle complications, the more strain to his system. The answers aren't easy and the choices and their results seem to be exponentially increasing the risk factors."




Lt. Harriet Sims walked into her home with little AJ in tow. The child had been unusually quiet on the way home. Now he ran to get his picture Bible and bring it to his mom. "Read me the Shepherd's Psalm, mama."

She was surprised. "Right now?"

"Real it out loud, Mommy. For Uncle Harm. He's tired; he needs to hear it."

"Honey, Uncle Harm is a long ways away. He won't hear me read it."

"He will, if we pray it, not just read it." The boy replied. She led him to a rocking chair in the living room. Harm had found it at a garage sale painted a ghastly green. He'd stripped it and replaced a few broken slats in the back, sanded and refinished it. It was turned out to be a beautiful, old oak chair that was soundly made. A friend had told Harriet her friend had a very good eye. It was an original handcrafted piece from about the time of the Civil War.

The rocking chair wasn't the only piece of furniture in their home that had Harm's touch. He'd been over at the house so much at first, fixing the plumbing problems she'd had when they first moved in, helping her build shelves in the garage, just doing the man chores around the place while Bud was gone. Harm was truly a part of their family. She took AJ in her lap and opened to the right page in the book.

"Okay, little man. Let's do this together." Little AJ folded his hands and she pointed at the first picture and read the words underneath. "The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything that I need…"

Little AJ said. "Jesus, Harm needs you to be healing and strength for him. He's sick and he's tired of fighting the bad things in his body that make him hurt. Keep the bad people away from him. Send Auntie Mac to kiss him better. That'll make him feel a little better right away."

Harriet smiled at the thought. If Harm was conscious at all, Auntie Mac giving him a kiss would almost certainly gain some kind of reaction. Not to mention the reaction it might get from those around him. "Honey, Auntie Mac can't kiss Harm when they're on a Navy vessel. It's not allowed."

"Not even to make him better?"

"I don't think so, sweetie."

"I bet she will. She won't care what everyone else thinks. Not when Uncle Harm needs her."

She read the next section. "He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength."

Little AJ nodded. "That, too, Jesus. That's what Uncle Harm needs. He needs to rest by green meadows and peaceful streams. He needs his strength renewed. He still has a big fight ahead. Help him, God, please. I don't want Uncle Harm to come be with You. We need him here. Please."

Harriet hugged the little boy. "Amen to that, AJ. Amen to that."

"Go on. Mom, read more."

"He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name."

"Uncle Harm thinks doing the right thing and bearing honorable are very important, God. Just like You. He's real brave, but he got hurt protecting people and some bad men hurt him even more after. That's not right or honorable. So make it better, God." Little AJ said simply.

Harriet hesitated, but AJ tugged at her, urging her to go on. "Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me." She pointed to the picture of a shepherd using his crook to guide the sheep. "See, honey. That's what they mean by a rod and a staff."

"Is the shepherd beating the sheep?" AJ looked troubled.

"No, he just uses it to guide them and see the crook at the end. He can use that to pull a sheep back from fast water, because if sheep get swept up in fast water, they can't swim and they'll drown. He uses that to keep his sheep safe."

"Uncle Harm needs to get pulled in out of the deep end, Mommy. He's having trouble breathing, like that one time I was sick and the fluid in his lungs makes him feel like he's drowning. It's dark where he is. Jesus, please pull him out of the water. Don't let him drown."

Harriet pulled back slightly and looked at her son with consternation. It was almost as if the little boy could really tell what was happening. His imagination was working over time. Maybe she should stop this, but…what was it, Chaplain Turner has said to her once? 'Sometimes little children can see beyond the veil of time and space with God's help. Never discourage the prayers of a child. They can be very powerful in the Spirit of God.' She hugged her son and carried on.

"You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

"Father, please show the bad guys who hurt Uncle Harm how much You love him and how strong You are. Make him better and let them see it. Fill his life with good things to make up for all the bad things he's had happen in his life. Let him be happy with Auntie Mac and let them have babies so I can have friends like Mommy and Daddy have Harm and Mac for their friends. Let Harm know how much You love him and let him live a long time here before he comes to live with you. In Jesus' name. Amen."

"Amen." Harriet hugged her little boy. "That was a beautiful prayer, my big boy. Let's go make you a strawberry milk shake and you can have some chocolate chip cookies too. Okay?"

"Yippee. You'll see, Mommy. Uncle Harm is going to get better real soon." He skipped off down the hall towards the kitchen.

Harriet smiled sadly. The last news Bud had before she left to pick up little AJ had not been encouraging. "Lord, if there is any way, please don't let my little boy down. Let Harm get well and come back to us."


On the Seahawk, Harm was coughing. He wasn't really awake, but the inhalation mask had just been taken off him. He was coughing hard. The fluid was coming out of his mouth and nose, and he looked panicked because he couldn't stop for several moments. He brought up quite a bit and lay back, gasping, exhausted. Sturgis wiped his face where some of the liquid clung and gently replaced the mask.

Harm was only able to rest briefly, another coughing fit. Again, he brought up quite a bit of fluid. He fell back and his eyes opened slowly. "I feel like I'm drowning here. Oh, no. I'm going to be sick." He began gagging and the Chaplain handed his son a clean emesis basin. Rabb retched and brought up some bile, though not too much.


Finally, the nausea eased and the Commander slipped right back into unconsciousness. He felt like he was swimming in the Atlantic again. The wind was so fierce and the waves kept filling his nose and mouth. He couldn't keep his head above waters. He was going to drown.

Suddenly, a light was shining down from above. He looked for the helicopter, but he saw a hook. A tailhook? Okay, he must be delirious. He grabbed the hook and beyond it he saw a bearded man who pulled him out of the water. He was resting on a green bank in a beautiful meadow. He tried to sit up, but the man gently told him. "Rest, Harm. You are exhausted."

"Do I know you? You seem familiar."

"We have more than passing acquaintance, but I think you should come to know me better." The man said gently. His face seemed to glow. His hands were strong, workers hands, but his wrists bore terrible scars. Harm looked at the scars and looked up at the face.

"Oh, my God. You are… Jesus Christ!"

The corners of the man's eyes crinkled as he chuckled in response. "Precisely." He didn't seem at all offended.

"Am I dead?"

"Do you have to be dead to meet me?"

"I hope not. If I'm already dead, it's too late for meeting you to do any good, right?"

"Harm, you know who I am. You believe in Me. Am I correct?"

"Yeah, but I don't work at being a believer and I don't do the things I should to be called a Christian."

"Why is that?"

"I'm not even that good of a person. If I call myself a Christian, there will be all kinds of expectations of me. I'm afraid I can't measure up to that and do my job."

"Is that the only thing you are afraid of?"

Harm looked at the water as he admitted. "I'm afraid you'll want me to give up doing the things I love; to do something specifically for God."

"You don't think pursuing truth and fighting for justice, defending the innocent and seeing the guilty are punished is My work?"

Harm allowed a slight smile to curve his lips. "Well, when You put it like that, it would sound silly if I said You didn't want those things."

"What else are you afraid you'll have to give up?"

"Sarah." He admitted, quietly. "If I try to live the faith, the way I understand it. Well, Mac doesn't think of herself as a Christian either. I couldn't love her and serve You, right?"

"Don't you think I love Sarah MacKenzie?"

"Of course You do, but she has to see that, too."

"How about you trust Me to handle that problem? Would you be willing to trust Me to work things out in that area?"

"I could try. I have a hard time thinking of surrendering my feelings for her to You."

"You haven't done too well with telling her how you feel about her without My help, have you?"

"No. But I did before I got so bad. I told her I loved her."

"You also told her you weren't good enough for her."

"I'm not. I have a big mouth, I say things I don't mean and hurt her…and there is the other stuff."

"You know I know all about that other stuff too, don't you?"

"Yes." Harm admitted. "That's part of the problem. I'm not clean enough to come to you. There's a stain I can't get rid of."

"I can get rid of it for you and help you get through any storm, if you'll just let Me."

"Why would You want to?"

"Because I love You. I died for You. Nothing someone else did to you, can make you dirty or bad or unclean, Harm."

"I've had to do things."

"I know all about them. Sometimes you take more guilt upon yourself than you should. If you have to kill to protect yourself or someone else and I chose to forgive it, why should you still insist it keeps you separate from My love for you?"

"Because I have taken away that person's ability to ever change."

"That's not true, son. When a person dies in an act of violence, I am strong enough to meet them there. If they open their hearts to me, even at the last moment, I will save them. If not, they were never destined to be mine. It was their choices that led to them being separated from Me, not yours. Do you understand that?"

"I guess. You can forgive someone like me?"

"Harm, you have called on Me far more often then you remember right now."

"But I always say I'll do better and I screw it up." Harm argued.

"I love you, Harm. I forgive you because that is My choice, but it's like any gift. You have to accept it, unwrap it, open it and enjoy it for the gift to really apply to you, belong to you."

"I think I see."

"I don't ask as much as you might think. Just your whole life, but you are so willing to give of your life to others, why not let Me in and let Me help you give your life to Me? I think you'll find it turns out a lot better than you think it will."

Harm looked carefully into His face. He saw strength, compassion and love so deep it overwhelmed him. "I don't deserve this."

"That's the whole point of grace. You don't deserve it and I give it to you anyway."

"I'll try. You'll help me?"

"Every step of The Way, for the rest of time. Any time you stumble, just ask Me. I'll help you up. Just take it one step at a time."

Harm nodded. "Okay. It's a deal, but I'm not easy to take on."

"I think I can handle it."

Harm saw something very bright and shiny in the water. "What's that?"

"Your godson's prayers for you, Harm. Little AJ opened the door to where we are right now. He asked Me to meet you here."

"The prayers of a child are pretty powerful things. I remember…"

"So do I. I have never let you out of my hands, Harm. Not since you were little and you asked Me to come in. I've let you wander and try to do things your own way, but you were never out of My grasp. I took care of your father too. He is safe here with me. I was not able to send him home to you, but you've always felt his love, haven't you?"

Harm nodded, unable to speak, overwhelmed at the memory of his own childhood prayer, with Grandma Rabb at his side, asking God to come into his life. "I actually asked You never to let me beyond the reach of your love, didn't I?"

"You did indeed. Your mind has gotten confused at times, but your heart has never been untrue to Me since that day. Now, just lay back. Close your eyes and rest. Trust Me for the details. Things are going to start getting better for you." The man took him into his arms and gently hugged him.

Harm felt the warmth spread thru his chest; it seemed easier to breath. The pressure that seemed to clutch at his heart eased. He felt himself relax into the strong arms. His fear and his doubt drifted away. He felt safe. "Rest, Harm." He heard and he did.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

  • FWWATT Chapter 8 Section Five -- Sylvia Mohr Bartlett, 14:25:45 03/07/06 Tue
  • I Loved your mini-sermon in chapter four! I believe the same way! Good Job! ....... -- Deborah Brady, 19:02:05 03/07/06 Tue
    [ Contact Forum Admin ]

    Forum timezone: GMT-8
    VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
    Before posting please read our privacy policy.
    VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
    Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.